The final Spirit was sealed inside of a floating glass bubble like the dick. It gave me a really weird boner, but also made me feel dizzy when I looked at it closely. Sometimes it was a mouth, then it stuck out its pink tongue and it became blurry for a moment, before transforming into a beating heart. Illusory blood was splashing all over the place and it suddenly exploded, managing to reform into a uterus with glowing yellow ovaries.

“Careful brat! This is a Spark of Chaos that I found a long time ago… I won’t go into the gory details and I really don’t wanna talk bout it. Until ya manage ta tame that Thunder Spirit out there, don’t ask me bout this little monster.”

Long Di had a surprisingly serious expression as he slowly placed his left hand against the glass and the uterus melted into a puddle of pink blood. It swiftly turned into the fist of a small girl, which continuously punched against the relatively large palm-print. I felt a sharp pain shooting up from my ass, all the way to my chest, as a bolt of crimson lightning shot out and zapped that huge, wrinkly hand.

He quickly pulled away from the container and started walking towards the southern end of the wide-open basement. There was a spot with a bunch of glowing green prayer mats. The old man sat down cross-legged on the one closest to the wall. A massive mural of colorful flowers and animals was behind him.

I sat down at the central mat, out of the nine that were in front of him. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, “Listen Brat… Cultivation takes time. Don’t be in a rush ta get stronger. Don’t take stupid short-cuts and limit yer future like I and so many others did… Just focus on building yer foundations fer now. Ya ain’t in any danger and I ain’t lettin ya die from yer own stupidity. Hell, if it weren’t detrimental ta yer potential, I’d make ya a eunuch right now! Remember, ya gotta save yer first time for someone special… Or they gotta at least be powerful! Make sure ta steal as much uh their cultivation as possible! Beware uh Succubi and Lust Demons! Fer now, it’s time ta do yer breathing exercises.”

It wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as the first time, but there also wasn’t much of a difference no matter how many times I condensed the Qi in my Dantian. There was a slight improvement, though it was more like the new mana was pushing the old shit out. That dormant cloud turned into a swirling vortex and I could feel that mystical power was squirting out of my pores, not just my nostrils or mouth. When I opened my eyes, I noticed that there was a very faint aura building up and clinging to my skin.

An hour or two later, I finally had to stop. By the time I took a shower and changed into some clean clothes, I noticed that Long Di was already in his room sleeping. I was supposed to go to bed, but there was still one more special exercise that I needed to do first… Or maybe it was more like a ritual?

Although my imagination was impressive, it was still much better to have something to look at. The basement door wasn’t locked or anything like that, so I easily returned downstairs; I didn’t turn on the lights though.

Without tripping over anything, I crossed over to the northernmost edge of the room and started examining that Terror Pixie from as close of a distance as possible. I whispered “You remind me of the little dolls I used to ‘play’ with as a kid… Hmmm~, can you speak?”

That tiny girl fluttered over to the bars and grabbed onto them, then shook the entire cage violently. Her mouth opened, yet I couldn’t actually hear her making any noises. A magical soundproof barrier was preventing me from being able to tell what her mental capacity was like. The lion was still snoring quietly, the ghost-dick was smacking against its bubble, the skeleton was eerily staring at me and that Chaotic Spark was constantly changing shapes.

I yawned, feeling exhausted from the long day of training and made a decision. Even though I knew it was probably wrong and a bad idea, I still pulled out my little shota-penis and began masturbating. At first, I was only interested in that angry Terror Pixie, but then that Spirit on the other side caught my attention.

It turned into a Human eye at first, with a dark-violet iris. After watching my act of exhibition, it transformed into a bloody pink vagina. Since I was intrigued, I obviously walked over closer to that glass bubble and got a better view. Every now and then it would shift from an eye, to a pussy, then an asshole, and occasionally a single underdeveloped breast.

As I nearly reached climax, I noticed that crimson sparks started jumping off of my hand and flying over towards that glass orb. It felt like a bolt of lightning struck my body and I ended up ejaculating all over the floor, then I realized that I didn’t have any tissues to wipe it up with. I quickly put away my junk and ran upstairs to the bathroom, but when I came back with some toilet paper, the jizz had mysteriously vanished. Inside of the bubble was a small mouth, with a pink tongue sticking out and lucking the transparent barrier.

“Ugh, fucking ghosts… Anyway, I should go to bed before that crazy bastard wakes up and starts beating the shit outta me.”

***

The next month was agonizingly repetitive. I woke up to some good old fashioned child abuse, the violent kind. Then Di would prepare some kind of salad with all sorts of different vegetables and fruits, half of which he definitely didn’t grow himself. Supposedly he had a bunch of storage chests in the attic and a lot of the unused rooms, which contained all sorts of food that he bought a long time ago.

My mornings were always painful, because he kept making me climb up that jungle gym and try to capture that stupid fucking crimson taser skull. The bastard never had enough juice to kill me, though it still hurt like a bitch. I mean, sure, I may be a masochist, but that doesn’t make me invincible!

Once I either fell three stories into the sand or managed to crawl down on my own, my ‘teacher’ would use random magic tricks to heal my more serious wounds. Then he made me do pushups, jumping jacks, sit ups, lunges, and running laps around the the huge jungle gym until noon.

Lunch was almost always some sort of stir-fried rice or lo mein with a wide variety of vegetables. Then I would need to start exercising outside again, at least until the sun went down. Dinner varied from spaghetti to tofu meatloaf and just about everything in between. He rarely made the same meal more than once a week, so the food was literally the only thing that changed on a daily basis.

After that was the breathing technique, to slowly but steadily increase the amount of Qi in my Dantian. In fact, the organ itself was actually growing slightly larger each time, although it was hard to tell at first. Before going to bed every night, I would sneak into the basement and satisfy my primal desires. I would typically alternate between the adorably rabid Terror Pixie and the deeply disturbing Chaotic pussy-ass-mouth thing that seemed to like me. Fortunately, the old man never seemed to be able to stay up very late and he didn’t catch me completing my nightly ritual.

On a side note, I learned a bit more about how the world worked from that talkative old bastard. Hours, minutes and seconds were still about the same, but every day was only twenty hours long. A week was seven days, but there were only nine months per year. Each month was nine weeks, for a total of five-hundred and sixty-seven days. It took a while for me to do the math without a fucking calculator, but it was basically a tinsy bit longer than the years back on Earth.

Anyway, that first month was sixty-three goddamn days of hard work, with barely any noticeable increase in physique. However, as I was doing my breathing exercises, I finally felt a significant change.

“Ya took long enough, Brat!” When I opened my eyes, the old man was pointing towards my right hand and laughing merrily. There were two black lines, indicating that I reached the second level of the Novice Stage.

I smiled wryly and grumbled “Terrfuckingriffic… Ugh, are you sure that I can become an Apprentice before my time is up? Doesn’t it get way harder to increase my level as I keep going? There’s only eight months left…”

“Nah~, the reason yer so slow is ‘cause yer body’s so shitty and weak! Once ya lay some foundations, with yer ridiculous Innate Talent, yer rate of improvement should rise rapidly! That ain’t even factoring in Spirits! Little Xiaotong out there seems ta like playing with ya, so sooner or later, she’ll probably leave that damn tree-house and enter yer Dantian… Ya still need ta get stronger first though! But, once ya have a Spirit Companion, you’ll be able ta break through into the Apprentice Stage much more smoothly! Hehehe~, then we can start the ‘real’ training!”