Crys wasn’t sure why, but he hated birds. It wasn’t just the noises they made, but the loud garish colors so many of them seemed to wear. It offended his dungeon sensibilities. Where was their sense of tact? Their survival instinct? A nice, subtle brown or earthy green would make them nearly invisible among the trees of the forest, yet they strutted around in garish red plumage that clashed with the very branches they called home. They may as well paint a target on their backs saying “Come eat me.”

Crys turned his attention back to Ergo’s sleeping form, sighing quietly. Had he hated birds like this before Ergo came along? To be fair, he hadn’t especially noticed them a week prior, when he first broke through the earth of his small hill to expose himself to the outside world. Only now, with his newest slime staring outside from the mouth of the cave, had he been able to examine his environment. Crys huffed in annoyance. As much as he wanted to hate Ergo, all the dragon had really done since claiming him was sleep. In the meantime, his mere presence was providing a mana source Crys could only dream of when he was first spawned into the world. It was more than an average adventuring party would provide on a per-second basis, and Ergo had been feeding the mana to him non-stop for a week now. Best of all, now that Ergo “owned” Crys, Ergo no longer seemed to count as an invader; meaning Crys could use his dungeon functions again.

It was getting to the point where Crys was giving serious thought to how best to defend Ergo as a dungeon resource rather than thinking of him as some kind of frightening tyrant. Even the scales that shed from his body in droves proved to be a valuable resource; his first dungeon loot since they were apparently useful in potions. Crys puffed himself up with pride as he watched his first specialized slime wearing a gooey circle into its patrol route.

After absorbing enough scales, he had unlocked “dragon slimes.” Which were apparently different from a slime dragon because they were slimes that absorbed dragon traits rather than the other way around. Crys sighed impatiently. He really wished something else would enter his dungeon. Slimes were the official default monster of fresh dungeons. Sure there were some weirdos that specialized in slimes, but he wasn’t one of them. The problem was he needed wildlife to enter his cave, and provide a template for him to work with.

Normally, dungeon mana enticed creatures into entering the dungeon like some kind of hypnotic suggestion. Dungeons would create a cave full of slimes, absorb a few creatures, and then discreetly reabsorb the slimes to replace them with monster variants of whatever they had consumed. Instead, something about Ergo’s mana seemed to override the dungeon’s siren call; turning it into “don’t bother me, I’m sleeping.” The fact that Crys himself could partially feel the effects of this do not disturb call only made it worse.

Crys sighed, and looked down at himself. He had literally set a record for dungeon growth speed. The system even gave him a trophy for it, with the added benefit of making future growth slightly cheaper mana-wise. Crys stared contentedly at his third floor. He was rather proud of that. Three floors in two weeks. If only he had something better than slimes to populate it with.

That thought went through his mind at almost the same moment that the slime at his cave entrance died, slime core pierced exactly in the center by an arrow. Overcoming his surprise, Crys realized he had absorbed the arrow, and now had a template for basic arrows. Crys did a happy mental jig as he replaced some of the slime loot drops with bundles of arrows.

“Looks like a new dungeon to me.” A woman announced, stepping into the mouth of the cave. She carried a large, two-handed iron war-hammer. Crys couldn’t hear the response, as the other half of the conversation was outside the entrance, but the woman nodded. “Yep, probably gonna be usual commision. It hasn’t gotten past slimes yet. Poor thing must’ve just breached the surface judging by the slime at the door. We’ll just map things out to the core room, and head back.”

Crys’s mind froze as she said that, then he looked at Ergo. If they found Ergo, they would likely attack him. Either they would kill Ergo, and Crys would lose his favorite mana battery, or more likely, Ergo would kill them, bringing far more scrutiny down on Crys than was healthy for a two-week old dungeon. There was a certain etiquette to these things. One didn’t simply kill the first party that found you, even if you could. It was bad for business for everyone involved.

The moment the woman with the warhammer stepped back outside to converse with her companion, Crys made a side-tunnel, and small room that branched off his core room in a single explosive burst of mana that he hoped would resolve before the adventurers stepped back in. Crys’s luck held as he even had time to add a moveable rock wall to hide the entrance before she stepped back inside; this time accompanied by her archer companion. Crys wondered how they would react when they realized he had three floors.

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“Ergo, wake up.” Crys’s voice called.

“Hrmnph?” Ergo responded, tongue lolling indelicately out of his mouth as he slept on his back.

“I need you to wake up… if you don’t mind.” Crys said in his most diplomatic tone.

“Go away, I still have another month of hibernation. I’m tired of being interrupted.” Ergo complained.

“It won’t take long. I just figured you might appreciate a better bed is all.” Crys said smoothly.

Ergo’s eye cracked open. “A bed? What’s a bed?”

Crys chuckled. “A really comfy place to sleep.”

“Oh. Sure, why not?” Ergo said groggily, mind barely functioning.

“Just stick your foot on the square stone in front of the large patch of rock to your right. Yes that one, there you go.” Crys said cheerfully. Ergo stepped into the adjoining room where there was a small pit filled with dragon scales. Ergo sniffed at them curiously, but they didn’t smell like him. Nor did they smell like another dragon. In fact they didn’t have a real smell at all thanks to being only a few seconds old. Content that he was neither laying in his own castoffs, nor in another dragon’s, Ergo passed out, rolling on his back; tongue lolling once again as he lay in the center of the very comfortable pile.

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“He’d be adorable if he wasn’t so scary.” Crys muttered.

“Crys, I sense intruders.” Ergo’s groggy telepathic voice came from the next room.

“I know, I’m working on it.” Crys sent back.

“It’s my territory. I won’t abide intrusion.” Ergo responded, some of the grogginess leaving his voice.

“Look, I’m sorry if this upsets you, but you chose to make a dungeon into your territory. I’m literally designed to attract intruders. And before you ask, it’s a feature, not a bug. It’s not something I can turn off. You’re going to have to learn to deal with it if you don’t want to have to wake up a few times a week to worry over people who are doing more good than harm.”

A grumpy “Hmph.” Was the only reply. Crys wondered whether it would turn out to be a good thing that he had designed the hidden door with no pressure plate on the other side. He would let Ergo out after the humans left. Maybe.

Crys wasn’t sure how to interpret the fact that Ergo was now sitting up in bed, entirely aware; eyes seeming to track the humans as they carved a path through the first floor slimes. In retrospect Crys realized he may have gone a bit overboard with the sheer number of slimes, thinking them weak creatures. Even these seasoned adventurers seemed to be struggling; endurance worn down by the unending horde.

“Quick, that room has a door! Maybe we can barricade it!” The archer yelled, pointing at one of Crys’s spawn rooms. The pair had already been hopelessly cut off from the entrance after fighting the horde for over twenty minutes. The female warrior seemed barely able to hold her hammer now as they fought past the horde; bursting into the room. The moment they entered the room, the horde dispersed; Crys having established their programming to ensure each monster was bound to a particular space after the incident with Ergo.

The room the adventurers entered wasn’t totally free of enemies; ten slimes occupied the space, quickly oozing towards the pair. The fight proved difficult due to their exhaustion; the warrior woman lifting and dropping her hammer more than actually swinging it. The pair collapsed against a wall, leaning against each other as soon as the fight was done.

“So, the fights are room-based. Don’t see any active spawners. Think its safe?” The woman mumbled tiredly.

“Looks that way.” Her partner responded; exhaustion equally evident.

Without another word, both fell asleep simultaneously.

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“They’re sullying my territory.” Ergo growled, staring at Crys indignantly from behind the rock wall.

“Look, they’re just… Oookkk I really didn’t want a template for that.” Crys replied.

Once the pair had woken up, they decided to get frisky; much to Ergo, and Crys’s mutual chagrin.

“My territory sense doesn’t just involve sight. I can hear them. Smell them. I… taste them.” Ergo ground out.

“Ok, now that just sounds pervy.” Crys retorted, running out of patience.

“I am done doing this your way. I have tried to be tolerant of your needs in the interest of coexistence, but I have some pride left as a dragon. Nobody should have to taste what I am tasting right now. I am putting my claw down.” Ergo roared.

“Look, they’re almost done ok? Just relax. Go back to sleep. It’ll all be over by the time you wake up.” Crys pleaded.

Ergo harrumphed. “As if I could ever unlive this indignity. I have standards! I… oh god what did he just… ugh… Ergo complained scraping at his tongue with his talons until blood began welling from a small gash. Ergo sighed. “The blood makes it marginally better.”

Crys sighed back as he quietly moved his new template into the new “do not open” folder. “Look, these are humans specialized in killing monsters, and you definitely count as a monster. You might defeat these. You probably would, since they seem relatively weak. But you’d call attention to us. I’d probably survive because dungeons are generally considered resources, and it’s illegal to mess with cores. I can’t say the same about you though. If you start killing every adventurer who steps foot in here, someone strong enough to kill you will eventually hunt you down. Do you want that?” Crys asked sympathetically.

“All I want is to finish my seasonal hibernation. It’s a biological imperative, and I’m extremely overdue.” Ergo replied, laying down on the tunnel floor with claws on his head in frustration.

“Then why not just go back to sleep?” Crys prodded gently.

Ergo shook his head. “I can’t do that with intruders in my territory. That’s also a biological imperative.”

“You could always unclaim me.” Crys suggested diplomatically. As much as he was enjoying the free mana, he didn’t like the idea of tangentially “belonging” to someone in some convoluted metaphysical fashion.

Ergo closed his eyes. “Too late. Once something is claimed, I can’t unclaim it. That’s just not how these things work.”

“That’s something you could’ve told me before you strong-armed me into an irreversible decision!” Crys yelled, crystal turning temporarily red with rage.

Ergo broke out of his self-pity long enough to snort derisively. “I’m a dragon. You’re a shiny thing. It’s what I’m designed to do.”

“Was it worth it!?” Crys screamed, rage he didn’t even know he held bubbling up.

“No. Not if it means dealing with people all the time. There were no people in my old cave.” Ergo grumbled; stalking away from the tunnel entrance to bury himself in the pile of scales that constituted his makeshift bed. Ergo reflected on himself as he tried to ignore the constant bombardment every footfall, and errant motion by the intruders made on his territorial senses. Where was his pride? His noble indignation at the world? Ergo huffed as he realized he felt like a moody fledgling again.