Murong Yingyue threw his hand off her.

“How the fuck would I even have the chance to see your biceps? I’ve never seen you before!” Fuckshitcrapfuckittyfuckit’sthatweirdofrombeforeitismostdefinitelyhim.

She took a deep breath. Calm down, he hasn’t seen your face before. He probably noticed that I used one of Master’s talismans, and realized that I was related to him in some way. He’s just making a wild guess because he’s never seen me before.

So she would deny, deny, deny!

“Are you sure? I can show you them again if you want.”

“I already said that I’ve never seen them before! And I don’t want to! Why are you trying to flash me?” Don’t tell her that this man was this kind of perverted person!

“Are you sure?” Di Jinming leaned in yet again, this time from behind, his chin resting on the top of her head and arms hugging her neck. His long white hair draped over her, creating a very intimate scene. However, Murong Yingyue went cold.

Oh my dear sweet lord, this is a perfect position to snap my neck! She was trembling. How in the holy fucking hell do people think this is “cute”? Stupid web novels, what’s so great about having your life threatened?

She twisted her body, attempting to kick his crotch again. He moved easily out of the way, but let go of her.

“That won’t work again. I was suppressing my spiritual energy before, so I couldn’t block in time. Here, in Master’s lands, I’m not under the power restriction of the lower world.” Son of a bitch!

Without warning, Murong Yingyue dropped to her knees, slamming her head down onto the dusty ground. Fuck, there’s no escaping. He’s going to be too persistent, and if I slip up and admit that I did kick him before, he’ll probably end up screwing me over even more! Better to get it over with now than later.

“Please forgive me, great master!” A master at being a failure of a typical male lead!

“I had eyes but could not see Mt. Tai!” Yeah, since I can’t see imaginary beings like you! Hmph, stupid fictional character!

“My lowly dog eyes have sinned, seeing a superior being such as yourself as a fool!” Even if you aren’t a fool, I want to see you retain your IQ when the main character swings by!

“I wish, from the bottom of my heart, that you accept my most sincere apologies for disgracing such a benevolent being such as you!” Benevolent my ass! But since I’ve called you benevolent and kissed your pale white ass and stroked your overblown male lead ego, you should spare me, right? Well, one more bootlick won’t hurt.

“I was in such awe of your majestic, heavenly appearance that I became muddleheaded since my unworthy mortal mind could not comprehend it!” Okay, maybe that one was too much. I almost made myself throw up with all these about-to-be-killed-cannon-fodder-lines. This guy should be a villain, so these lines should calm him. Good thing he isn’t a main character or these lines would get me KOed!

“As you know your wrongs, you'll have to correct them.” Di Jinming replied very “sagely.” Fuck, not another personality change!

“Yes, yes, yes. I will give you compensation. Let me treat you to a meal.” She turned, getting up and walking towards a nearby table, which was made of polished redwood. She waved her hand and delicacies of all kinds appeared on the table, along with two plates and several pairs of chopsticks. She looked mournfully at her food. Dammit, now I have to share! Fucker, I hope you’re allergic to something here.

“I don’t want that kind of compensation.” He was back to being a creeper, chin resting on her shoulder, leaning down and tilting his head to whisper in her ear.

Without warning, his hand grabbed her head and twisted her face toward his. Yingyue felt something press against her lips.

His mask had disappeared, and he had touched her lips with his own.

She didn’t move. He continued to kiss her - right up until realized something was wrong. He felt something cold press against his neck before it was promptly sliced open.

He stumbled back and pressed a hand to his neck, blood streaming down. It would be a fatal blow for anyone else, by due to his super special awesome obscure powerful lineage his body could heal the wound easily. He looked back to Murong Yingyue only to find she was bent over, throwing up on the ground.

“Oh-” She threw up again. “Fuck-” another splat on the ground. “-ing” she gagged. “Hell.”

She stumbled over to a decorative pond (Since when had that been there?) and dunked her head in.

Di Jinming touched his neck again, checking that his body had healed it.

“Was it really necessary to kill me?” He asked her, pouting. “Just because I can heal instantly doesn't mean that I can't feel pain.”

Murong Yingyue lifted her head up from the water, having heard his words. She looked at him with a mixture of exasperation and defeat. I should’ve known it was too easy to kill him. He’s still under the protection of the almighty plot armor.

“Yes, it was. You would survive with Master here. He has enough medicinal pills for you anyways. More than enough, really.” She replied, resigned. Ahhh, why am I stuck with such an inconsistent male lead? Just endure... endure... He’ll find his new victim sooner or later.

“What do you mean?” He asked curiously. It had been a while since he came back, and he had no idea about his master’s “business.”

“Master has been going over to alternate dimensions and supporting budding geniuses.” Or is it genii? Whatever, no one ever says the plural anyways. “He’s investing in them so that they feel gratitude and gift him rare shit later when they’re super amazing and stuff.” Master is so amazing! His MC hunting skills are unparalleled, even surpassing mine! Murong Yingyue frowned. “Anyways, we’re even now. Bye!” She ran off.

This time, Di Jinming let her. He knew it would be useless if he continued to annoy her since it seemed that this time he had gone too far. Of course, he was slightly annoyed that Yingyue had tried to distract him by saying that they were “even.” He had been kicked once and killed once by her, while he only bothered her and touched her a bit.

The food sat abandoned, cooling down and left alone. They were left neglected until a certain cowardly Second Senior Brother came out from hiding to take it, unwilling to let good food be wasted.

...

Yingyue had already gone back into the not-really-safety of her home, locking the doors and activating every formation. Master had even put a formation on it to transport her to another dimension, and she used it, only relaxing somewhat once she saw the blankness of the alternate dimension out from her window.

She haphazardly swept her sheets off her bed, letting them crumple to her floor. Sitting cross-legged on her bed, Murong Yingyue closed her eyes and began to meditate.

Time to cultivate a bit. He should be in at least the late stages of the seventh realm of cultivation, so this pitiful early sixth realm will have to work a bit. Then I can beat the crap out of him. How many days would it take? She made some quick calculations in her head.

Maybe a week to reach the seventh realm. And then maybe another two weeks to reach the end of that realm. So, in a month, get ready for your ass to be beat until it splits open, you asshole!

And she spent a week, just like that. She had even impressed herself and ranked up to the seventh realm in five days instead of seven! She was now in the early middle stage of the seventh realm.

She opened groggy eyes and nearly fell off her bed when she did. Right in her face was the First Senior Brother she had wanted to beat the crap out of. He was sitting in an armchair, legs crossed and sipping a cup of tea, holding a book open in the other. Her dirty floor had been cleaned and shined, and her bedsheets had been neatly folded and from the slight citrusy fragrance in the air, washed. At least he has good taste in detergent.

“Oh? You’re done cultivating now? You know, you cultivate really slowly. How sad for you. You don’t even specialize in anything. This cliche... is too formidable! Constantly being annoyed by this male lead, finding him in my home, what's next? The infamous "bathing scene?"

“You! You stupid asshole fucker, when did you get here? How did you get-” She cut herself off. “You have a special ability that allows you to bypass formations.” Yingyue said dispassionately.

“Yes, how did you guess?” How did I guess? I don’t need to. I know your kind. Loaded with super cheats and otherworldly strength in exchange for a drastic drop in IQ once you meet your female lead. What a shitty deal.

“It’s still April. And Master isn’t happy with you right now for making him come out on the unluckiest day of the year. So he wouldn’t let you in. So you need some super awe-inspiring ability or spell to get in, right?” She glared at him, remembering how she was ditched. “Why did everyone run from you? What did you do to them? And how did you know that I was the person from the cliff?”

“Hm? Oh, I just had a bit of fun with them when they were third realm cultivators.” A terrifying smile made its way onto his face. Yingyue suppressed a shiver as he continued. “I just thought they might need a bit more training.” The grin grew wider. “So I left them in the middle of the Mist Forest. For a week.” Oh. My. GOD. This man is crazy as hell! He left them in the Mist Forest? Only cultivators in the fifth realm have a chance of surviving in there for a day! And he left them there for a week?

The Mist Forest was an area in the fourth realm of the world, and it was famous for its danger.

What was the fourth realm? I'm glad you asked! Activate, background information time!

The world was organized into nine levels. The higher the world you were in, the stronger a person was. The naming system of the cultivator levels was also consistent, unlike some names like Profound realm, Nascent Soul realm, Dan Realm, and other shitty confusing names.

No.

None of that complicated bullshit here.

Just numbered realms. (And some colors because a certain someone will go crazy if they have to describe someone as a fifth level fourth realm cultivator. Wait, huh? Fifth level, fourth realm? Hmm.. so that means they’re in the fourth level... no wait I mean fifth level... Argh! Just leave me alone).

First realm cultivators resided in the first realm of the world, the second realm cultivators were in the second, and so on.

Murong Yingyue was in the fifth realm. Normally, a sixth realm cultivator like her wouldn’t be able to travel to lower realms, but thanks to her super cheat-like master, she was able to freely travel wherever she wanted. Of course, there was a catch. If a high ranking person went to a lower realm, their power would be suppressed to the strongest level in the realm.

Again, her cool amazing master wasn’t a spacial magic master for nothing, and weaved a formation into her clothes to keep her in a different dimension. Meaning that she technically wasn’t in the lower realm and could use her power as she pleased.

Master is the best cheat code I’ve ever met. Yingyue blinked. What the fuck? Why did I just start thinking about the organization of the world and naming systems right out of the blue? Did I just become a tool for dumping exposition on some readers? Murong Yingyue glanced around warily, temporarily disregarding Di Jinming.

Wait, why am I even looking around? I won’t even be able to see them. Unless... I was controlled to look around like some dumbass for “comedic” value? It’s not even funny, just put in there to pathetically meet self-set word counts per chapter. I need to stop thinking about this... Spending too much time with Master has made me go insane. Hold on, what was I even talking about with this guy? The mental explanation inside my head distracted me.

Di Jinming had been listening to her mind with interest, though occasionally being confused over her sudden tangents into explaining basic details about the world. However, he chalked it off to the mysterious “controller” she referred to and did not think too much on it, even though it would be something that he would investigate, but uncharacteristically did not pursue the matter.

(Author: Hahaha... that was close... my own characters are scaring me T^T)

“We were talking about why our fellow disciples were scared of me.” He offered kindly.

“Huh? Oh okay, thanks. Anyways,” Yingyue froze in realization at his words. She closed her eyes briefly. Did I say my thoughts aloud like some calm main character that has been forced into OOCness under the pressure of close proximity to their male lead? Argh! My main character traits just keep piling up! Whatever, let’s just roll with it! “How did you know that I was the person you met at the bottom of the cliff?”

“Your voice.” Di Jinming lied. Actually, he had read the mind of his Second Junior Brother, who had been panicking and trying to protect Murong Yingyue by not thinking of her meeting and preventing him from finding out her identity... which lead to him thinking about not thinking about him. So obviously, he found out.

He sent a mental message to his fellow disciples (excluding Murong Yingyue) to leave them alone and they agreed (with the help of some threats) and even convinced his master to leave as well (with the help of a mixture of bribes and threats).

“...” How in the fucking hell did I not think of that? Well, I mean usually the male lead is some body-obsessed pervert who apparently can instantly recognize the main lead by the build of their body or their facial structure or some bullshit like that because they’re so in love (consciously or not) with the main character that they can do that? Then again, the female lead also has some cross-dressing hacks so they have mad makeup skills and can change their voice/have a voice changing technique. Shit! I’m already thinking like I’m a main character!

It’s not too late! I can still avoid this!

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding.” She started. “I sincerely apologize for anything I’ve done to offend you. Truly.” First, be honest and innocent as hell. “Please forgive me. As your Fifth Junior Sister, I hope you can be lenient on me.” Make it more generic! “I hope you can understand the rash decisions I made due to my youth. No one was really hurt, and I can give you money to compensate you.”

Di Jinming smiled, and Yingyue felt cold.

“Compensation?” He was smiling widely now. “Now you’re talking. I was injured and almost was dealt permanent damage. Furthermore, I was killed by you. As for the price of that... I touched you a bit before so if I give you a huge discount, that can cover kicking me. To repay me for killing me, why don’t you let me touch you some more? You have to stay by me for a year for me to play with you a bit more.”

Murong Yingyue was speechless. Hey, why does he sound like some human trafficker? Or some slave dealer? What the fuck kind of male lead is this? Don’t tell me he’s also a main character that’s the blatant pervert-scammer type developed to appeal towards male demographics?

Bonus:

Murong Yingyue: You call that “touching me a bit”? Creepy pervert man, you definitely crossed a line! See how I deal with you. I’ll have you begging for me to stop.

Di Jinming: Really dear? You’re making me blush~ You're so bold, I like it!

Murong Yingyue: Someone please save me... Author! This is your fault! You suck ass!

Author: What? You shut the hell up! Who are you to judge me, you fictional character? I made you!

Murong Yingyue: Just reset his stats and put less in his creepiness trait! Or I’ll explicitly point out how many times you’ve broken the fourth wall in this chapter alone because you’re a shitty writer!

Author: You did it anyways... Looks like he’ll be receiving a sudden boost to his pervert level.

Murong Yingyue: ...