“Hey you!” Someone was nudging me rather roughly while telling me to, “Get out. That’s my bunk.”

As I was beginning to stretch, I suddenly found myself tugged roughly and unceremoniously dumped onto the ground. Blinking away my confusion, I looked up to see Dangerous Idiot Number One standing over me, fuming. “Dino? What are you doing here?”

“Dino? Who the hell is Dino?” The young man standing over me was skinny and pock-faced, but he held himself with an air of superiority. “I’ll have you know, good sir, that I am Mageflame the Magnificent; Wizard of Fifth Circle Potential!” Extravagantly he bowed and pretended to flourish an imaginary hat. “And you, sir, are in my bed.”

Honestly, I thought he looked ridiculous. “Sorry, I didn’t know which bunk was free,” I told him honestly. “I was a little tired from my journey and wanted to rest for a bit. I apologize. I meant no harm.” I tried my best to suck up to a pompous ass like this one, rather than deal with his bruised ego for the next few years.

“Fear not! I shall forgive you this time.” Dino; I’m afraid I’ll probably always think of him as Dino to myself; held out his hand and helped me up from the bed. “Your bunk is that one.” He pointed to the top of the other set of beds. “It’s the worst of all spots and is reserved for the newest member of the room to deal with. This bunk,” he pointed back to his own, “is on the bottom and nearest the door. It makes it the easiest to get in and out of, so it’s the best bunk. It's reserved for whoever has been in the room the longest, and that would be I.”

Would be I? Yep. He’s DINO all right. Nobody sane talks like that. Apparently, he must think it sounds impressive. To keep the peace, I won’t be the one to tell him he’s being an idiot.

Coughing lightly, I held out my hand towards Dino. “I’m Michael. I’m new here, so I guess I’m in your care. If I make any mistakes, I apologize. I’m not very used to city life with a lot of other people.”

“’Tis fine,” Dino told me exuberantly. “I too once heralded from a common family, before my might and perfection was discovered. Fear not! No one here shall look down upon ye too much.” Then he laughed like an idiot. “After all, ye shall be the one on the top bunk looking down upon others!”

“Uhh... Right?” What the heck was I supposed to say to something like that? Yes, I see your point! I shall look down over all you idiots… What an idiot!

“So, who’re our other roommates?” I wanted to change the subject and see if Dino could at least give me some useful information about whom else I was staying with. “Any cute girls in here?”

“Girls!” Dino sounded shocked. “In a boy’s dorm? God’s forbid, that’s not allowed!”

“Oh.” I tried to sound disappointed – which, in fact, I was. I was disappointed that he couldn’t tell that I was joking about such a thing! I really wasn’t expecting to find girls living in the boys’ dorm to begin with. The more I talk to Dino, the more I’m convinced he’s a complete moron – and apparently, he’s attended the school for the longest of anyone in this room, since he has the ‘best’ bunk.

“Never fear, though,” apparently, Dino completely bought my disappointed look, “there are plenty of fine members of the opposite sex at the school itself. Even someone such as you should be able to find someone there.”

Someone like me?! I couldn’t help but sigh and shake my head lightly. I’d already bedded two princesses and might even have a child growing in one of them – and he was making it seem like it’d almost be an impossible task for any decent girl to like me! One of these days, I’m going to tell him the truth, just to watch Dino’s head explode from jealousy! Not that he’d believe me, I’m certain.

“If you’d like, there may be some of the common girls which I can introduce you to, later,” Dino offered magnanimously.

“Uh… Sure.” I tried to sound enthused, but I was certain that any girl who knew and chased Dino simply had to be idiots themselves. People like him are contagious, I think. Honestly, the less time I spend around Dino, the happier I think I’ll be.

“Good! Good! Anything for a brother of the room!” Dino was smiling from ear to ear and acting as if he’d just agreed to donate both his kidneys to save my life. “You’ll find we take care of each other here! If there’s ever anything you need, ask one of us as we’ve all been here for at least a year now.”

“I,” he bowed furiously once again to indicate he was talking about himself, “have been here for three years now. Mongo has been here two, and Skeet has been here a year now. You’ll meet them both later, I’m certain – though they’re both gone on a school task together currently.”

So two of my roommates are out on a task together, and they leave Dino behind. Makes sense to me. I’d leave him behind as well! Maybe they won’t be so bad when I meet them later.

“For now, let me take you to the school and get you a meal. It’ll be my treat,” continued Dino.

It annoyed me how he made it seem like he was being nice and going to buy me a meal when it was already included in the tuition cost. “Sure. I’m ready.” Breath in, breath out. I can’t let the dangerous idiot provoke me; I need to play his game if I want to be a nobody. But who knew I was going to be challenged so hard starting out!

Laughing magnificently, Dino turned, walked over and opened the door, and then walked out it without ever looking back. I guess it was just assumed that I’d follow behind him obediently. Maybe I should’ve used my family name and not hidden who I was. It probably would’ve saved me a lot of hassle in the future, but I guess it’s too late for regrets now.

“Yip. Yip.” I barked lightly under my breath, wagged my ass once for good measure, and then bounced along to catch up, like a good little puppy. If I can be a nobody around Dino, as annoying as he is, I can be a nobody anywhere! I guess I’ll have to consider this trip to be practice blending into my new role that I’d set for myself.

I actually had to rush to catch up to Dino as he was already almost to the steps by the time I finished fooling around in the room. Apparently, those long legs of his take large strides and he can cover ground rather quickly. I was forced to lengthen my stride to keep up with him – and I suppose that was the first good thing I actually thought about him. Most of the wizards I’d met on the island were rather lazy, bookwormish, and slow. (With exceptions for De’Nara who was a blademaster as well as a wizard, and Le’Nara who just couldn’t seem to sit still for nothing – sometimes I even imagined that she probably used the bathroom while bouncing from foot to foot, she seemed to have so much energy!)

It was actually nice to see that Dino appeared to be in good physical shape. He had a good stride, kept a steady pace, and his breathing – and talking – never faltered or slowed on our journey back to the school. Much like Sammy, he pointed out lots of different people and buildings and told me who and what they were. The problem was, Dino assailed me with so many names and specific details that my brain simply couldn’t process them all and was soon droning him out as nothing more relevant than background drivel!

I’m certain that some of the things he told me, I’d probably want to remember – but he told me so much other junk as well! I couldn’t separate the wheat from the chaff, so I ended up just nodding and agreeing with whatever he said as we went back to the school and towards the cafeteria.