"Mark, thank you for everything," Samson said gratefully. They were at the usual spot in the coffee shop, sipping coffee and eating bagels.

"What are bros for," Mark asked with a wide smile. "So you banged her?"

"Almost," said Samson cryptically. "We have a size difference to overcome first, but I officially lost virgin status."

"So how was it," asked Mark. "Is she into anything freaky, or is it vanilla?"

"It was pretty vanilla, I think," said Samson, not entirely sure he was saying. "She said we'd experiment after I could actually fit."

"Fit?"

"Well, she's really tight between her legs, so I couldn't fit all the way in this time. But we're working on it."

"Hey, not to be totally embarrassing, but how big is your junk?" Samson put his fingers about a foot and a half apart, and Mark's jaw almost dropped. "Dude, I've got some bad news for ya. Nobody, I mean nobody, could something that big inside of them."

"It's just a dick," said Samson sternly, "not the sword of Damocles."

"How thick are you," Mark asked without embarrassment. Samson made a C with one hand, then connected the ends with part of his other thumb. "Most normal girls struggle to fit a dick half your size," said Mark seriously.

"Are you serious right now?" Samson asked, his worry growing in the pit of his stomach.

"Samson, I'm being honest with you," said Mark, speaking as though Samson had a terminal illness. "What you have is something some people just have to work with. You can work without it, so you need to focus on your strengths. Did you try oral?"

"Yeah, it was the only way to make her cum," said Samson tragically.

"How many times did you-"

"Three," said Samson quickly, glancing around to see if anyone was eavesdropping.

"That's impressive for your first time," said Mark, holding his fist out. They bumped fists, but Samson still felt like he was stuck in a rut. "Listen, I picked up this girl a few weeks ago, and she's been around the block a few times, if you know what I'm saying. How would you feel getting her opinion on it?"

"I don't know," said Samson with weary resignation. "I'm thinking you were right, I should just focus on what I can do and go from there."

"Well, that's too bad, because I already invited her," said Mark. "She's got one of the greatest asses I've ever seen, even Karen's, and she's got these beautiful eyes that- well, you'll see." They talked for a little while longer about Samson's problem when a girl walked in wearing a short mini-skirt that belonged on a cheerleader. She was thin with a tight body, but she matched Mark in height. She had light brown hair that was combed and conditioned to perfection, and true to Mark's words she had a round bubble butt that protruded from the rest of her body.

The girl spied Mark, then immediately came over and surprised him with a hug from behind. They kissed each other on the lips, then the girl looked at Samson who was suddenly captivated. This girl had pure gold in her eyes, shining flakes that reflected the light graciously. She seemed to beam joy and happiness like a lighthouse, giving Samson an immediate warm feeling. "Samson, meet Susan House," said Mark graciously. "Susan, this is my best friend Samson Marcel."

Samson reached a hand out for Susan, who smiled and shook his hand. "It's nice to finally meet Mark's friend," said Susan happily.

"It's nice to meet you, too," said Samson graciously.

"You have a light touch, but you're so big," said Susan, letting go of Samson's hand.

"You have no idea," said Mark, sipping his coffee to try and hide his smile.

"Let's not talk about that," said Samson quickly.

"But it's a big topic," joked Mark.

"Ha ha," said Samson dryly, "let's just move on. So, how long have you two been dating?"

"It's been about two weeks now," said Mark, thinking back. "We met at this bar, went home together, and now we're here." Samson was flabbergasted, to think that a one-night stand actually started a relationship.

"You're making me sound easy," said Susan with a playful slap. "We actually had a long talk debate about middle-eastern politics before he picked me up and brought me to his place like a gentleman. We didn't even do anything until the morning." A one-morning stand?

"That was a good morning," said Mark, drinking the rest of his coffee. "Samson, tell Susan about your problem, she probably knows something you could do about it." Samson wasn't eager to explain, but a curious glance from Susan told him she was intrigued.

"What's the problem?" asked Susan simply.

"It's nothing," said Samson, clearly embarrassed about approaching the topic. There was an uncomfortable silence at the table as the two experienced members gazed at Samson as though they were shooting lasers from their eyes. "Well, we were in bed and it was going great when I had a problem... inserting my... tool. It wouldn't... fit properly, and then Mark said that it was... unusually sized."

"His dick's too big for her pussy," Mark clarified in grievous terms.

"Really," said Susan with a strange smile. "How big?" Mark showed her with his hands and she got a strange look in her glorious golden eyes. "No wonder you didn't fit," said Susan, "you'd probably have trouble fitting it into a rhino!"

"Yeah, but his girl can't do anything about it," stressed Mark as Samson sat there wondering if he would be lucky enough to spontaneously combust.

"Can't he use his mouth," Susan asked.

"He did, and he got her off three times," boasted Mark.

"No way," said Susan in disbelief, "that's not possible."

"Wait," said Samson, suddenly interjecting, "you mean I didn't actually make her cum?"

"How long did it take," asked Susan.

"All night," said Samson hopefully, but Susan remained in doubt.

"You might have done it once, but three times is a lot for a girl to cum consecutively. Especially with just your mouth."

"So, now I know nothing," said Samson depressively, leaning against the table. A lot of things raced through his mind, and then it was like a switch flipped through his mind. "No, I can't do this," said Samson.

"Can't do what," asked Mark in deep concern.

"I'm not going to doubt what Karen says. I've got to trust what she tells me, even if it is a lie."

"What happens if she tries to take advantage of you," asked Mark.

"I've just got to trust that she won't," said Samson, his eyes a bit misty from the topic of conversation. Both Mark and Susan saw that they were making Samson sad, and despite themselves they felt guilty about it.

"Hey, sorry about bringing this up," said Mark guiltily, putting his fist in the air for Samson to bump. Samson bumped it and Mark said, "We've got a date planned for today, so we've got to get going."

"Good luck," said Samson with a wink.

"You too," said Mark, and he laced arms with Susan and began walking down the street. The sun was just getting to the high point of its arc as a few clouds did their best to cover denizens below. A brief gust of wind blew between Mark and Susan as they walked down the street, arm and arm without saying a word to each other. Once they turned a corner and were out of sight from the coffee shop, they suddenly changed from couple to serious partners. Stopping just out of sight, Mark sneered angrily at Susan and remarked, "What the hell is wrong with you? I've been after this guy for two years and you just bust in out of nowhere!? You should be damn lucky he's so naive, or we wouldn't have gotten out of there without scorch marks!"

"Relax, I've read up on his file," said Susan defensively. "Besides, I've closed more cases than you have, Mind Bender."

"You don't understand," stressed Mark, furrowing his eyebrows and baring his teeth. "That guy is literally unstoppable! He can't be cut or shot, and he's got the power output of BigMan and Sentinel combined! I make one wrong move, and he can fuckin' kill me without blinking."

"As far as I've seen, he doesn't kill people," said Susan, marching down the street with Mark in hot pursuit.

"What are you even doing here," demanded Mark angrily. "You should never just butt into one of my cases randomly, I had no time to prepare a convincing story!"

"Listen, this matter just got a whole lot more delicate," said Susan. She pulled Mark along a few streets, then they turned onto a street with rows of decently manicured condominiums. They went down a few houses, then they entered one of the houses. There was no furniture, there were no pictures, there wasn't even any paint on the wall. Susan pulled Mark upstairs, then Mark pushed her off forcefully.

"Alright Lighthouse, tell me what's so damn delicate about dealing with an unstoppable electric juggernaut," demanded Mark.

"Did you know Queen got a boyfriend," asked Lighthouse with a seeming lack of urgency.

"BigMan's little girl," said Mark in confusion. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"I've been asking her about it for the past two months," said Lighthouse. "She said he's big, sweet, and they met in a coffee shop that we just left. His name is Samson, and he saves abused women and he's a rich kid who owns an entire upscale apartment complex. So I'm looking up all of these things on the database, then I find your case file about this guy." Mark covered his mouth with both hands, putting the rest of the pieces together himself.

"FUCK," Mark yelled angrily at the wall. He scratched his head, trying to figure out exactly how screwed he really was. "Man, I introduced them! I can't believe I didn't think Karen was Queen! I'm so stupid!" Mark punched the wall, but only managed a small dent. "BigMan's gonna be so angry," said Mark as though his life was over.

"You don't know that," said Lighthouse, but her tone betrayed her words.

"What am I going to do, I put Queen up with a supervillain!"

"Why did you hook anyone up with a supervillain?" Lighthouse asked.

"Because, Samson's not really a bad person, he just wants to be an official supervillain," said Mark. "So I was thinking, maybe if he found a reason not to be a villain, it might clear his head a little."

"You think he might join the Hero Squad," guessed Lighthouse. "Mind Bender, when the files say that you can't read or control his mind without him noticing. How exactly are you planning to get an aspiring supervillain to become a hero?"

"Lighthouse, you don't get it," said Mark stressfully. "Samson is a hero, he saves the people around him more than we ever have. He just wants to be a villian because he doesn't believe in being a hero."

"How long do your girlfriends usually last," Lighthouse asked curiously.

"Why," asked Mark, then he quickly said, "no no no."

"Hey, just for a little while," said Lighthouse convincingly. "We keep playing the girlfriend angle, then we can double team him trying to get him to join the Hero Squad."

"We can't do that," said Mark, "he's already stolen hundreds of millions of dollars. Not only that, but he beat up Preachers team and embarrassed them."

"I have an idea," said Lighthouse, "but I'm going to need some help. You said he saved a girl? Did you know when and where?"

"Yeah, it was in front of a movie theater right before his second date with Karen," said Mark, a bit perplexed as to why Lighthouse brought it up.

"If we can find a video of that, spread it around social media websites, give it some popularity," thought Lighthouse aloud, "then maybe we can make him a hero."

"He'd deny it," said Mark simply, "he would never let himself be called a hero. Lighthouse, you don't get it, he hates being a hero."

"If he hates being a hero, then he shouldn't have saved that girl."