CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

A Change of Pace (The author has lost his mind and doesn't know what he's doing)

To find Griff at the White Temple reception wasn't too hard. The moment they asked for him by name, he immediately came out, greeting the party with open smiles.

"A joyous occasion to meet again so soon. Tis must be divine providence for the goddess has bestowed her kindness upon us all. Through her will..."

"Oh hey, it's Dawn!"

Dawn shot Roari a nasty look. She expected nothing, yet what was this sensation of being betrayed? Although she wanted to cry out in outrage, Griff was still continuing his monologue. While Dawn was patiently waiting for him to finish, she could only grudging bear with the rampant snickers that were split between the two Storm siblings.

"Might I inquire what this humble servant might do for you on this tranquil evening?"

"Well, the blood witches..."

"Oh, do not be troubled. The investigations shall begin forthrightly. The Temple has not forgotten your service. However...it is ill-advised for you all to participate. Of those who spurn the light, the blood witches are the vilest and most cunning. Until you have gained sufficient strength, I beg you not to inquire further."

Dawn was shocked at how promptly they were given an answer. Although it was disappointing, to say the least, they would have to put the death of Rashenta on the back burner for now. However, due to the ridiculousness of their encounters so far, it should still be appropriate.

It was actually quite the miracle that none of them had died on their adventure so far...apart from her own untimely murder anyways.

Of course, there was nothing stopping them from venturing into the blood witch territory on their own, but she was sure that none of them had a death wish just yet. At least...she hoped so.

"That's fine," Pale added. "We’re actually here for a different reason. Does the name 'Road' holds any significance for you."

Griff's face turned ugly for a moment before flicking back to normal. It happened so fast that Dawn started doubting whether it actually happened.

"Why, that is the name of our goddess. Although most call her Mercy or simply the Goddess. Road is her name. Truly a being of the divine whose benevolence shines down upon us on each and every morn."

'Did he just hesitate?' Dawn wondered curiously. Actually, it was strange. Although she was a paladin trainee from the same order, why didn't she know something as simple as her goddesses name?

"When the White Chapel was being assaulted, we managed to interrogate one of Pastor Maximillian's minions. With his dying breaths, he told us that he loathed her. That he wanted to meet her if only to show her legacy reduced to ash."

"Loathing? Impossible! There is no being more divine of benevolent than she. Every man in this city fears not death because the goddess's embrace is waiting for us. Perhaps he was referring to the sword maiden. Yes. That must be it. All those who take up the mantle of the goddesses representative are also given the name 'Road'. Perhaps the man was a failed suitor or a jilted lover!"

Griff's gums flapped as he hastily spewed out a response. What was most interest was how his words became less convoluted and more clear. Dawn's eyes narrowed. She was just about to press him for more when Pale cut her off.

"That is most helpful sir. Would you happen to know where we might find her?"

"Her demesne is within the inner sanctum of the White Cathedral. Access is prohibited to normal citizens, however, she had been frequenting the White Academy a lot recently."

'The naming scheme is terrible.' Dawn mused. If she were to gain a higher position within the order, would her own name turn into 'White Dawn' as a consequence?

"Our thanks. We'll be off now."

"Blessings upon you, friends."

With but a few curt words, Pale had swiveled out. The abruptness of everything had Dawn blinking in confusion. Was that it?

Seeing how Griff had turned to leave as well, she looked at Roari seemed just as dazed as she was.

By the time she and Roari had hightailed it out of there, they found Pale leaning against a camellia tree. The shadows blotted out his face, making him seem like an individual of a most shady nature.

"...What. Couldn't find any bridges to dwell under?" Dawn huffed. "I thought you were going to ask him more than that."

Even though their interaction had been brief, the entire conversation between Griff and Pale had seemed mechanical, almost robotic. If this was any regular RPG, then it would be fine, but she had thought they had better rolepla- ... conversational skills than this.

"That I did," Pale replied with a wry smile. "But did you notice that the moment I mentioned Road, dozens of eyes began watching us."

Dawn paused. Had such a thing happened? Within the halls, there were so many knights bustling to and fro that she hadn't noticed.

"Although the White Temple and by extension, Church of Mercy appears to the de facto power within this City, I do not believe it would be in our best interest to trust in them too much."

"You do understand that you are bashing my faith! My people right? I have explored this city for longer than either of you, and every single person here has been of moral and righteous character."

"Then how would you explain the Pastor and his minions?"

Dawn choked. Although the denizens of this world weren't 'real', she still found comfort in their company. Especially during the first few months where she was exploring the Elseworlds all by her lonesome. It was they who reached out to her first, made her feel welcome. The members of the White Temple even more so.

In fact, it was because she was attracted to their spiritual values of good faith and neighborliness that she decided to join their church faction. If all of that was a facade, then how was she supposed to react?

“It was an exception!”

“So you’re saying there can’t be any more?”

Upon seeing Dawn's crestfallen face, Pale said softly. "I am not attacking your choices. All of this is but a suspicion, nothing more. However, it would still be disadvantageous for us to trust in others with our plans."

'Like you two are any better!' Dawn sniffed. "And why is that?"

"Because the deus are evil bastards!" Roari who was irritated over lack of screentime piped up.

"Although the quality can't be compared, in Arego's last game, there were hidden stats for 'trust' and 'morality'. An NPC's wariness towards the player could totally change the game. Like even if you do everything right, because of that, you might still reach a bad end!"

"If we were to apply that to the Elseworlds, then I'm pretty sure Griff would be on alert now. And not just him, but the entire White Temple." Pale surmised. "Of course, there's no proof, but it would still be wise to keep our exposure on the backburner until we can acquire more information."

"You two really aren't playing this as a game huh. Not everything is a massive conspiracy you know." Somehow, as Dawn was dragged further into this rabbit hole, she was feeling exponentially more tired.

"That! Is where you're wrong!" Roari said vehemently. "It is precisely because we're in a roleplaying game that we are being careful. What sort of game would have such one-dimensional characters? A boring one! Don't you see how these things are just like people? And like people, they all have underlying motivations, desires, burdens. You cannot just shove them all into common character profiles!"

Dawn flushed at the jab, taken back by the passion that was just radiating off of Roari. To have such bright eyes in a world full of uncertainty, just how did she do it?

"But what if your theories don't bear any fruit? Wouldn't all this extraneous preparation be nothing?"

"Why are you here Dawn?" Roari demanded. "To pass time? For some arbitrary title such as being the best? To gain fame and riches? If you were such a person, you would not still be here."

"I..." 'am lonely' Dawn's throat itched. She couldn’t say it. Even when faced with Roari's rare serious demeanor, she couldn’t say it. Nevertheless, Roari didn’t wait for her answer as she continued.

"For me, this is an escape. Escape from the mundane, grey, world called reality. Out there is nothing left to explore, nothing to discover. What's left is barred behind countless years of preparation, years of tedium. That is not to say I despise reality, but this too could be considered an improved one. One where we can say the world is our oyster without feeling as if we're lying to ourselves because truly we do not know our limitations yet. Here, we can risk our lives with little repercussions, to make memories with those I care about. If such events lead to fame and fortune as well, then I won't reject it, but this is a second life and I intend to explore it fully. So don't be timid Dawn, seize the day. It might all be artificial, but try living for once."

As Roari finally finished her rant, her voice was flushed as she finally inhaled. Perhaps she became a little too enthusiastic about the subject, but her cheeks were flushed in resolution. Her fervor and outburst seemed to have choked the words out of Dawn.

Was it admiration? Or surprise that caused Dawn to tremble? Perhaps there was a bit of shame there as well. To be able to speak with such ideals and convictions for something as simple as playing a video game, Dawn couldn't help but feel awed.

At the same time, she thought to herself. What were her motivations? Did she have any? To consciously self-reflect was something few people ever do, yet the moment she did so, her heart trembled. It twisted and churned, a tumultuous maelstrom of mixed feelings on the brink of bursting from her chest.

She didn't know when it started, but small teardrops began beading down her face, to which Pale and Roari gaped in shock.

"...D-Dawn?"

"Shit Roari! What did you do!" Pale hissed as he rushed over to comfort her.

"I didn't do anything!" Roari yelped, panicking.

Even as she felt her shoulders being taken into Pale's arms, she couldn't help but laugh. The hell was she doing? Was she really so fragile? Such thoughts caused her to sob even harder, which were then embarrassingly interrupted by a series of small hiccups.

"Dawn! Dawn! What's wrong?!"

"The phrase of not knowing whether to laugh or to cry doesn't mean to do both!"

"Would it kill you to shut up?!!"

'I've really done it now.'

Even through her hiccups, Dawn could feel her levels of embarrassment pierce the sky. The hell was she supposed to say? That she was so moved that she burst into tears?

She felt trapped, constrained, but such feelings only caused her to laugh all the harder, making her sound something akin to a dying giraffe.

After a couple of length gasps, however, she soon regained the capacity to form words.

"Y-You guys are assholes."

"Whats wrong?!" Pale breathed, obviously concerned. Although he suspected that Dawn might still be holding a grudge over a few things, how could he possibly fathom the inner workings of a young woman's mind?

"Did Pale do something to sexually harass you? Was it me?!!"

Amidst their frantic tittering, Dawn ignored them both, and said hoarsely.

"Hey...We're friends right?"

Both Pale and Roari momentarily looked horrified before bobbing their heads like penguins. Neither of them bothered to look at each other as they doggishly agreed.

"I told you didn't I? You're one of us now. Like it or not, we won't let you go."

"Oh my god. Is it death? Are you dying? Did you play this game to make friends for one last time before inevitably fading to the void?--"

BANG!

Roari staggered back while clutching her head, tears in her eyes, while Dawn suddenly found Pale's cat Devi being thrust into her hands.

While her hands were full of cat, she herself was being petted, which made her feel as if she were some sick, sad puppy. Glancing at Pale who looked painfully awkward as he was petting her hair, Dawn had to force herself to repress a snort. Such a reaction reminded her of her nanny during her childhood, but when coming from a normally icy young man, the contrast was just too big.

Of course, she knew she would be feeling painfully awkward with the two of them later on, but for the moment she didn't care.

To see the panic of the two of them was indescribably sweet, and for the moment, she just wanted to relax and take it in.

"It's nothing. I love you guys."

‘Aaah I’ve done it now.’ While drunk off her tears, she smiled and sagged, almost wishing to force herself into becoming a sad puddle of awkwardness.

...

"Dawn, whats wrong?" Pale said gently. Due to his experiences with Roari sometimes spontaneously bursting into tears in times of heavy stress, he felt as if he had some experience with such things. Of course, that didn't mean he necessarily knew how to fix it, but the warmth of a gentle embrace never hurt anyone.

"She really is dying! Why else would she be ok with you feeling her up?!"

...

|Infamy increased by 5|

While Roari was screaming while attempting to put out the flames, her words still sent a wakeup call to Dawn who flushed as she pulled herself away. But even then, she still felt Pale's hand, clasped around her wrist.

"We're a team, you understand? I won't push you, but you can always come to us if you need to talk about anything."

"Also, you're kinda like 95% of our firepower so...."

'Ha....'

Just as things were starting to loosen up, it seemed as though the floodgates had opened once more, this time with Pale fiercely reprimanding Roari as a bizarre scene was painted. The three of them squished together under the smoldering remains of a camellia tree.

...

It had taken a few moments before they finally extricated themselves from each other's embrace, but the tension had not been alleviated whatsoever.

"...Do you want an ice cream?"

"I'm not a little girl!"

"Is that so. If you end up changing your mind after, Roari is going to be sore."

Dawn could only sheepishly accept the cylindrical block of icy goodness that was housed in a casing of waffle.

To have the Storm Sibling's attention, and for them to dote on her gave Dawn immense satisfaction. It was a comfortable sensation that left her feeling warm inside.

'I feel like a baby'

Dawn pouted as she gingerly licked the flavored ice. The two of them were patiently watching her, walking casually before she finally decided to open up.

"I suppose it all started...when I was born."

"..."

"..."

'No reaction?' She had at least expected some groans or snickers at that, but after seeing their intent gazes, she felt slightly better about trusting them.

“You know how growing up, you are regaled with stories of princesses locked in castles, and knights in shining armor?

I believed it.

I believed it in kindergarten when all the other kids took my crayons to sword fight. I believed it in middle school when boys would fight to see who would take me to prom. And even years after, when I had so much more to lose.

I suppose it's a fixation of mine. Call me childish or laugh at me if you want, but I fell in love with the idea of a man being good purely for the sake of being good. But life isn’t like that. People will use you. For your wealth, your status, your companionship. Although I suppose in hindsight, it was all too obvious.”

“Well duh. Isn’t that just human nature?”

“It is, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be bitter about it. Look. How would you feel if you learned each and every one of your friends befriended you for your name and not your own merits? How would you feel if you discover these friends only show you fake smiles and talk behind your back.

Yes. I understand its normal. But I would rather drown in misery alone than be surrounded by false friends.

So I left them. I kicked them all out of my life. Surely there would be more people out in the world right? More people who could fulfill my ideal.”

Dawn snorted. She felt small. She felt petty, but in her heart she always knew what she wanted.

“I’ve walked the lonely path, but do you know what I discovered? There’s no such thing as a hero.

Maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough, or maybe I’m too uncompromising in my dreams. In any case, I decided then that I wasn’t going to find what I was looking for in real life.

So I decided to play this game. Perhaps the virtual world could offer me what reality couldn’t. It’s also part of the rationale for why I decided on a holy class for this game.

Because what I really want. Is to prove heroes exist. That is my dream. My only dream. And if there are none? Well then I will just have to set the example.”

Dawn paused to take a long breath.

“But do you know what irks me the most? I try to be good. I try to be righteous. But somehow, two backstabbing sociopaths can still come off as more heroic than me. How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to believe?”

Dawn's face was flushed by the time she finished. She wondered if they could imagine how she felt, or whether they would just mock her. From the perspective of most, she was just a whiny little baby who was a bit broken on the inside. In the grand scheme, her problems were superficial, but it still hurt.

Actually no. These were the people who literally backstabbed her shortly after their first meeting. She was used to it, but then, she had been angry.

When they actually came back once more, what was she supposed to think? Once again, she felt that faint thread of hope, lingering in the abyss of fear and backwardness. Although she had never mentioned it, she wanted it so bad, to have people by her side. To have people she could trust.

...

"T-That's quite a lot to share with people whom you've only known for around a week." Pale looked as if he had swallowed a lemon.

Roari too was looking at her strangely.

"I know." Dawn wanted to cover her eyes and fall into despair. She had made it weird. She definitely made it weird. She would run away, but she didn't have the guts.

"That's fucking adorable!" The breath was knocked out of Dawn's gut as Roari catapulted in for a squeeze. "I mean, no, its horrible, but ohmigod, you're so cute. I can't stand it!"

Dawn's eyes bugged out at Roari's outburst. She looked at Pale who could only sigh and shrug his shoulders as if telling her to deal with it.

"To be honest, I thought you were going to say something like: Ice cream is cold and lifeless, just like the rotting, black mass that is my ever-bleeding heart. Bah! You admire me? Omg, I need air. This is too much. I can’t believe we planned on stabbing you in the back!"

"But you did! You did stab me!" Dawn cried out, unsure whether to be amazed or outraged at Roari's audacity.

"Hrrmm? It was an affectionate betrayal. Besides, you got your revenge, didn't you?"

"That doesn't make it better!"

"Not to mention," Pale slyly interjected, "You just admitted you want us. Saves me the work of thinking how to permanently keep you here!"

"You're an asshole!"

"Kukuahaha! Don't fight it babe. How long have you been with us so far? Give it up! You can never escape!"

She didn't know what she expected.

"Don't worry babe. So long as the game remains running, we'll always be here. Of course, if you want to meet us in reality, we could set up a bunk!"

Roari smiled as if everything was settled. Her eyes widened as if realizing something before lowering her voice coquettishly.

"Actually, we don't even need a bunk, we could always share a bed."

Dawn snorted. "Please don't tease me."

"Who's teasing?"

Upon seeing Roari's disarming smile, Dawn felt the heat rush to her ears.

"Maybe...But let's talk to Road first." She huffed before striding away. The air currents fanning her face as she tried to cool off. She passed by a reflective window and cringed upon seeing her reflection.

Why the hell could avatars blush in a game anyways?

Roari who was skipping brightly turned to her brother who was looking on in amusement. As disaster had been averted, he could finally feel the breath returning to his body, but soon his heart tensed up again as Roari strode up to him and whispered.

"Brother, dearest. Do I look heroic?"

Looking at the cute creature before him, Pale felt his lips crinkle into a smile. He lifted a hand and curled his fingers, forming the universal 'ok' sign.

‘Not in the slightest’