“Oh man…what the fuck happened?” I ask as I came to.

“You said the Daemon has small boobs,” I heard Volt say. “What did you think was going to happen? She’ll make out with you or something? You got knocked the fuck out. Hell, Blake was telling the Daemon to drown you in your own urine again. You’re lucky the Daemon decided to stop and listen to me instead of Blake.”

“Oh? Where’s Blake now?”

“I think she’s chatting with the Daemon while I waited for you to wake up.”

I try to raise my hands but I find them tied behind me. Confused, I try to turn around and only then did I realize that I was again, upside down. And naked. Again. Okay, seriously, why I am naked THIS time? I look around and I see that I am are no longer outside but in some kind of building. I am hung on the ceiling with a good 5 feet from the ground. From what I can see, the room is pretty spacious. Under me is a huge drum of water. Oh man I hope that is water. I could see a couch in front of me and a fireplace to the side. It’s actually pretty dark here. I wonder if this planet has discovered electricity yet. But first, a very pressing matter of mine needs to be answered.

“Hey, Volt? Why are we tied up, upside down and naked?”

“WE’RE not. Just you,” Volt explains with a hint of amusement. I look towards the direction of his voice and I see him standing on the ceiling, well, ground actually, with his arms crossed and a shit eating grin on his face.

“Hey, my favorite older brother! Care to explain and let me down?” I glare at Volt for letting me get into this state.

“You were tied up and hung upside down because you pissed off the Daemon. Blake and I managed to not piss her off and she invited us into her home. We only just arrived and she tied you up and stripped you. Don’t ask me why she stripped you. Blake and I chose not to ask. Word of advice little brother, don’t say a girl’s boobs are small.”

“I know…I know,” I sigh. “But I did learn something important."

"Oh? And what is that?"

"The girls on this planet are also sensitive about size. Hey, did Blake feel threatened by her? Cause that Daemon’s pretty fucking ho…gargle. Cough cough cough. SERIOUSLY?!?!” A stream of water just smacked me in the face. I look towards the entrance and see the Daemon and Blake standing there. Blake is face palming herself. The Daemon’s wings are out and her left arm is raise. Her hand makes some weird motions as another stream of water hits me in the face again. Fucking hell. I start shaking to try to get free and mutter curses at the Daemon for this injustice and discrimination. Blake gently, puts a hand on the shoulder of the Daemon and leans over to whisper something in her ear. Almost immediately, the Daemon lowers her arm and the water torture finally stops. But I think she is still glaring at me. I actually cannot confirm this since I’m still coughing out water from my lungs. Fucking bitch. I take back what I said about her being hot.

“You are a vulgar being. If it were not for your siblings, I would have drowned you and burned your body to ash by now!” the Daemon angrily proclaimed in that sexy accent of hers. Seriously though, why is she speaking in a British accent? .

“Yeah, well, at least I don’t go around attack people I just happen to come across with their own urine! Fucking bi….gargle cough. OH COME ON!!! Are we seriously going do some waterboarding here? Why aren't they tied up as well? Am I really that untrustworth? Wait, don't answer that.” I’m at my limit here. I really should just shut up and not say anything. But seriously, she’s kind of pissing me off here. I’m completely helpless and she just keeps taking offense to everything. No sense of humor whatsoever. We will so not work as a couple. Hot she may be but definitely no charm. None whatsoever.

“Hun, can you please keep your damn mouth shut?” Blake exasperatedly sighs at me. Yeah sis, I plan on not saying anything for awhile. Anything I say will probably just end up annoying the Daemon. Better play it safe and stay quiet.

The Daemon never took her eyes off me as she approached me. Face to upside down face, she is just a few inches away from me. I stare at her, not wanting experience another drowning again. A few seconds go by when I realize that if we were lovers, this would be a great time to recreate a movie scene from an old movie I saw last year. Heh. That was such an iconic scene. No sooner than when I had that thought, a sharp pain struck me on the ass! That bitch just spanked me! What the hell did she use? Wind?

“What the hell?! I didn’t say anything this time!”

“…You had a disgusting look on your face,” the Daemon calmly states as she pulls out her sword and slices the rope keeping me strung up. Unskillfully, I tumble face first onto the ground. Painfully as well, I might add. Not even a word of warning. Damn this girl really hates me. I’m going to regret this later. Definitely should have chosen my words more carefully. Why the hell did I let my dick do the talking? Jeez. I struggle to stand with my hands still tied behind me when all of a sudden, I feel a boot push me back down and a cold metal on my wrist. Apparently, the Daemon chose to step on me to keep me still as she cut my bindings. I cannot decide whether I should be graceful, embarrassed, angry, or all of the above. I went with a fourth option and that was to just completely ignore the fact that this is a scene straight out of a S&M porno. Any minute now she’s going to take out a whip and start hitting me with while ordering me to bark or some shit. HA! But reality kicks in when I feel a hand grab my right elbow and I’m pulled up onto my feet. I look straight ahead and come face to face with a pair of small mounds that jaunt out in front of me which I accidentally brushed against. Oh…shit. Those are her breasts. In her chainmail. She’s going to hit me again isn’t she?

SLAP

“Okay, seriously, is this going to be a thing where you hit me every 30 seconds or something? Cause if so, tell me now so I can at least mentally prepare myself.” I growl at the Daemon who surprisingly isn’t looking at me. In fact, she has turned her back on me with her hands in her face. Huh, didn’t expect her to get embarrassed about me accidentally brushing against her boobs. Well, ignoring that, I turn to face Blake and Volt and ask them, “So, where is Sky? And where are we? AND WHY AM I NAKED AGAIN?!”

As if on cue, Sky flies into the room, carrying a bundle with it which he drops on the floor in front of me before perching on Blake’s shoulder. Grabbing the clothes Sky dropped, I quickly don them on. I have had enough of running around naked on an alien planet for a lifetime, thank you very much. As I’m putting on my clothes, Blake and Volt sit down on the couch while the Daemon starts a fire. Logs and kindling seem to fly across the room and into the fire place until she is satisfied with the level of the fire and sits down on the floor in front of it, staring at the fire she just built. Occasionally, she waves her hand around and the fire seems to dance with her motions. I look questionably at my siblings but am only greeted with a shrug from Volt. Blake on the other hand is watching the Daemon very closely. Finally, Sky speaks up.

“Captain Lindsey Shin, this is Justine von Gustogh of Clan Gustof. She was out hunting in the forest when she came across you relieving yourself on a tree and declaring the planet to be yours. According to her testimony, only a Contagion or infected being would make such a bold statement and defile the forest. Yet, you did not appear to be infected nor an evolved form of the Contagion. Hence, she followed you and eventually attacked you to test us in order to determine whether or not we were part of the Contagion.”

“…. So, if I hearing Sky correctly, the reason we were attacked, " I started to say.

"The reason YOU were attacked, Captain."

"Fine, the reason I was attacked was because I marked my territory and declared the planet as mine? Well, shit. I guess I had that coming. I’m sorry Miss von Gustogh. I didn’t expect there to be any natives around me when I jokingly made that claim. I wasn’t serious about that, just so you know. But may I ask you something?”

Justine, without even bothering to look up from the fire, simply says, “Ask.”

“Why did you attack me with my urine?”

“You peed on my favorite tree,” she says flatly, still not looking up. “The forest is not your toilet.”

I glance over at Volt and Blake who have covered their faces as they shake with silent laughter. I shoot death stares at them but this only causes them to shake even harder as they whisper to one another.

“So, where are we?”

This time, Blake spoke up, “So Justine here told us that this planet is called Erde. According to her, there are no humans on the planet so I guess we’re it. The closest thing she can think of that could remotely resemble humans are the Elves to the east since they lack wings.”

“Wait, Elves? How many other races are there? Do they keep to themselves?”

“Actually, there is a central city where all four races gather to live and trade. The Elves, the Beasts, the Daemons, and the Daimons. Daimons are similar to Daemons but have white wings and lighter skin. The Beasts, from her description, are like half man half beast. But they’re simply known as Beasts due to the variety of them. I think they each have their own kingdoms, is that right Justine?” Blake asks the Daemon who seems to be more interested in the fire than our conversation. I guess she must either be really bored or is embarrassed still. Heh, in a way, that’s kind of cute.

“That’s right.” Oh the lady speaks! Justine stands up and faces us. “Each race has its own rulers. But we are all united in the fight against the Contagion. The Contagion has taken everything from every race, none more so than mine. Our honor has been sullied and we fight to gain back our honor and our home!” she declares with a fierce determination. I can only wonder what she meant by that. When I opened my mouth to ask, Volt waves for my attention and silently shakes his head. Guess that’s a taboo topic to talk about, huh? Fine. No need to poke the bear any more than necessary on that.

Well, now I have a general idea of things and start to plan our next move. From the looks of things, we should probably head to the central city. We may be able to gain more information there. After that, well, who knows? One step at a time.

“So, I’m thinking that we should head to that central city you mentioned, sis. From there, we can probably get some more information about the planet. After all, we can’t overstay our welcome in Justine’s home which she has so graciously opened up for us,” I state while smiling at the Daemon. No reaction. Oh well, not a big deal.

“The War Guild is also headquartered in Union City. If you are able to fight, you should go there to find work. And this isn’t my home. This is merely a hunting lodge we have built. My home is deep within the Contagion infected area,” Justine says with a look of sadness in her eyes. Well, now I feel bad. Got to change the topic.

“Hey can you explain something to me? How are you able to control the elements like you do?” I ask. Volt and Blake also seem to lean in closer, not wanting to miss a word Justine says.

“I….just do? All Erdians can do it. Are you not able?” Justine confusingly asks us.

Volt and I look at each other while Blake’s eyes open wide. Volt speaks for us “On our planet, nobody is able to command the elements like you do. We can’t make them do our will. This is all new to us. Can you try to explain how you are able to do that?”

Justine gasps as she looks at us in surprise. “I…feel the elements in my body. They call out to me and I….ask them to help me. But this is all done without thinking. It is…difficult to explain. I have never had to explain this to anyone. It is like describing how to breathe to a creature that does not breathe. Or telling a blind person what colors are. Water runs through my blood and calls for me to flow back and forth. The erde hold me fast and becomes my rock to lean on. Fire burns in my soul as it rages forth. Wind lifts my spirit and it joyously floats around me. Does this make sense?”

What I would give to just have a taste of what she feels! It absolutely sounds amazing! To be able to fly and shoot fireballs? I mean, who wouldn’t want to be able to do that?! That’s every child’s dream!

“Justine, you said that all Erdians can do what you do?” Blake asks.

“Yes and no. Some are more talented than others in some elements. The Elves tend to favor the erde and water. Daimons are able manipulate light. The Beasts are varied with some tending to be strong in fire and others hugging the shadows. But we can all control the elements all around us.”

“What about Daemons? What are you strongest in?” Volt asks.

“We…are unique,” Justine hesitantly and carefully says. We all picked up on that and said no more. Clearly there are some things that she doesn’t want to let us know. Well, everyone is entitled to a few secrets. I still haven’t told Volt and Blake that I had lost their wedding rings the night before the ceremony. Ended up finding them in the neighbor’s dog’s shit. Yeah, I spent a good 5 hours scrubbing that and I will never let them know they are wearing something that came out of a bitch’s ass. Literally a bitch’s ass!

After a few moments, I finally ask the question I have been dying to know the answer to.

“So Miss Justine von Gustogh, why was I naked?”