I’m bored. So...freaking...bored. Absolutely nothing interesting has happened since the third war, almost a hundred years ago. OGG attacked twice more, both attacks ending in their defeat. I know that OGG isn’t meant to win any of the wars; that would disrupt the deities’ plan, but still...it’s boring.

With them always beating OGG, the Coalition has become stagnant. They’re used to winning, so they haven’t improved much. Their city walls are decades old, and instead of replacing the rotting logs with new ones, they paint them over. Why fix a problem when you can ignore it?

Thankfully, I’m a genius! The Coalition is used to fighting orks, which are easily subdued by a couple soldiers? Try fighting giants!

Giants grow to be around twenty feet tall, and are proportionally strong. One of them could easily tear through a few hundred soldiers, just by running around. Now imagine what it would do to the rotting walls of a capital!

The problem is, OGG only listens to Exitium. He’s their leader, the guy who’s been ruling (and threatening) them for centuries. I don’t want him to do it, because I want the deities to be surprised. I’m not sure how to get OGG to listen to me...wait, I’m god! I’ll just change my voice to sound like his.

-one week later-

Well, that’s taken care of! Gothmog the sixth is currently telling his lieutenants about the attack plan. They seem to like it. They’ve decided on their battle plan; they’ll have a few dozen giants attack the fort that’s blocking off the mountain path. Then, they’ll split off into groups of three or four and roam the countryside, making their way to other kingdoms.

Now to see the deities’ reactions!

They hate it! This is the opposite of what they wanted! The Coalition isn’t prepared whatsoever to fight the giants. They’ll wreck the cities! Exitium can’t veto the order, either, because that would make him seem undecided and foolish; OGG would lose some of their loyalty. Already, several of his subordinates are questioning his intelligence, as so far they have lost every war. Exitium is furious at my meddling. The others are trying to figure a way out, but they’re stumped.

…

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In other words, it’s perfect!