Pain all I have is pain. Along with sadness and hatred in this darkness. It never leaves and it never lessens. The reason for this is my life. More precisely the people of my life are the reason. I am, ... I was called Allan Jons. I grew up in modern society and had a mother and a father. They abandoned me at age 5 leaving me with my older sister who at the time just graduated high school. From then on she would beat me for keeping her from going to college and getting a good job.

She'd make me work as if I was her personal slave. Because of this when I went to school I would enjoy it like it was paradise. In elementary I didn't have many friends the teachers said I give off a bad vibe. I didn't understand her meaning but I still enjoyed school because I wasn't hurt there. This would continue until high school. When I entered high school I made 2 friends.

One was a guy named brad who was popular with the ladies. Not surprising since he had a face you couldn't say no to. His hair went to the back of his neck and was colored a light blonde. He also had a well toned body, and great grades, and was a head taller than me. I was surprised he became friends with me since I was mostly average with average length black hair, average build, and average grades except for a bad vibe that surrounds me.

The other was a girl named Saran and just like me she was mostly average. But gave off a dependable person vibe which made her get along great with others. She had brown hair that went just below her shoulders and was my height.

We all got along quite well which was a nice for a change but the feeling of friendship would immediately disappear when I got home. For the next year we hung out and got along great of course every now and then they would ask about my life at home which was a topic I avoided. But then, in my 2nd year in high school, a transfer student named Jayleen arrived and her beauty stole my heart. She had long black hair, great curves, and amazingly beautiful jade eyes. It was immediately love at first sight.

I would spend the next year trying to get her to notice me. I would listen in on her conversation with others hoping to find a way to impress her. Or try to figure out what she was interested in so we could have a conversation. My friends even tried to help. Then one day she started to take notice of me.

She started talking to me, laughing at my jokes, and a month or so later she started to flirt with me. I thought I was finally going to be happy the girl I liked seemed to like me and I had great friends. I was so naïve. One day before I left school Saran came up to me and said Jayleen wanted to see me in one of the classrooms. I was really excited to hear this that I immediately rushed off to meet her.

When I entered the classroom though what greeted me wasn't the girl I loved but a sight no one wants to see. Jayleen was in the middle of the classroom making out with Brad. I was so shocked that I dropped my stuff which caused the 2 to notice my presence.

(W-w-what's going on?) I said

Brad and Jayleen both looked at me. Brad's eyes seemed to smile and so did his face while

Jayleen looked at me with a look of indifference.

Brad then opened his mouth and said (What? I'm just kissing my girlfriend.)

I was stunned at how a close friend of mine whom I had great times with was know causing great pain which soon changed into anger and confusion. I soon found myself running at him and grabbing his shirt and shouting (What are you talking about! Didn't you always say she and I would be great together and always support me since I was your friend?) My question was only answered by a punch to my face which sent me backwards onto my back. When I sat up blood started coming from my nose.

Then Brad looked at me and in a cold voice said (We were never friends! I only got close to you because no one wanted to come close to the lonely and depressing guy. Thanks to that when I got friendly with you all the girls that would always follow me kept their distance when I was with you. Besides you aren't good enough for Jayleen.)

He then looked at Jayleen and said (tell him.) Jayleen nodded then looked at me and said (He's right you aren't good enough your just a creepy, ugly loser whose only purpose was for me to pretend to like you so I could have more time with my darling Brad.) After she said that tears started going down my eyes which they laughed at then they started to kick me saying I was useless trash and scum. Then the door burst open and Saran came running in. The other two got away then Saran held out her hand and helped me up asking if I was okay. When I was on my feet Saran looked at the two who caused me pain and said (You two are worse than trash.)

Both Brad and Jayleen were both a little shocked then brad smiled and said (Then what are you when you knew since the beginning but didn't tell him and instead helped us.) Hearing this I felt even more pain in my chest as I looked at Saran whose worried face only confirmed what had been said. Now trembling a little I asked (I-it cant be true. You knew. You were toying with me too?) She reached out her hand towards me saying (N-no its not like that. I only did it so you wouldn't get hur-). I slapped her hand not even listening which cut her off. I then ran off with tears in my eyes. I ran and ran until I reached my house. I sat in the dark feeling pain. Pain that came from my parents abandoning me. Pain from my sister that tortured me. Pain from my friends that toyed with and used me. Pain from the girl I loved who only crushed my heart.

I wanted the pain to go away but it didn't it only grew. It grew and grew until I heard voice that said (Why don't you die. It will stop the pain.) I began thinking (If I die then there would be no more pain.) Since there was no reason for me to live and no one would care I grabbed a kitchen knife. But I decided to do it at a park that had flowers that I always found beautiful. Leaving the house with the knife hidden in my clothes I headed towards the park. When I got there I looked around and saw no one. Then I went to the flowers and looked at their beauty. Seeing this I was know ready I took out the knife and stabbed my neck.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

I turned and saw Saran and Jayleen their faces filled with shock and torment.

I then fell over, darkness started filling my vision and my last thoughts were filled with regret that the last thing I saw were two people that caused me pain.