-then, die-

following him around, he guide me while piggyback the cat kid

we can’t leave her in place like this anyway so i agree

not like i’m gonna refuse, ah i don't mind to bring her personally you know? but for some reason he insist to bring her alone

what am i, some degenerate? hoodlum? even i am not gonna attack a defenseless kid.. probably.

ignoring that we reach our destination

……

it’s the scene beyond bad

the wounded is mostly swollen untreated, the air is smelly, the condition is bad, their body is only skin and bones left

most of the grown up already lose most limb or two, others already dead since long ago

and, most importantly.

their eyes are ‘dead’

…………….

i only looked at them while looked angry

the people here is already ‘losing’ hope

not one of them is trying to recover

most likely, when the last village of their race is dying they already ‘accept’ their fate

and that..

makes me gone angry beyond anything before

no..

thinking like this, it's the second time right?

…..

whatever

i began to look at a fox boy

that boy looked the most lifeless from them all despite being so young

looking at him, it seems overlapped with certain memories

..?

strange, what was that just now?

ignoring it, i approach him

…..

the boy is not responding despite i’m in front of him

ignoring me, he was unmoving

he was still breathing, but not moving even his pupils

….

crouching down, i asked him

“do you want to die?”

…..

he didn't answer

i already know it would be like this

but i still continue

“even if you die, no one is gonna cry for you”

“all of your sibling, brother, sister, family, kindred are gonna die here”

“the one that oppress your race, the one that bullying you, the one that think you guys are better be dead”

“is having the last laugh”

…..

he didn't reply.

i only stare at him

and then..

i grabbed his collar

and lifting him with one hand

…!

seems responding, he grab my hand too

but its too weak

then.

i continued my speech

“even if i let you be, you're gonna die anyway”

“so die”

“die by my hand”

“if it's not gonna make any difference between die now and later, then become my prey”

“become a feed for me to level, a stepping stone for me. at least you can be useful”

“then everything can disappear”

“all about your race, family,kindred. it will all disappear like a morning dew”

“nobody to even remember or knowing you or even record you all. it was a true death”

“you will disappear into nothingness, just like you wanted”

“without accomplishing anything, without being able to done anything”

“you can cry whatever you want but it won't make any difference”

“try to block your ears, try to block your sight, try to block your feelings all you want”

“and watch”

“the demise of your entire race”

“an existence that will be wiped out forever from history”

“forever, forever becoming a loser”

“and disappear”

“like you never exist since the beginning”

…!

hearing that.

the boy start to gripped harder at my hand that grabs him

and speak softly

“..no..”

“…”

“i.. dont..”

“...”

“i.. don’t want to.. disappear”

“...”

“i don't.. want.. to die”

“.....”

hearing that i loosen my grip a bit.

...and starting to grip his neck stronger than before

…!

the kid struggles

and i shout to him

“DO YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA BE ENOUGH?”

“MORE, GIVE ME A REASON TO SPARE YOU!”

“EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANNA DIE, DO YOU THINK ANYBODY WILL CARE? WILL EXTEND THEIR HAND TO YOU? FOR NOTHING!?”

“WHAT CAN YOU DO THEN? NOTHING! YOU ARE NOTHING! YOU CAN DO NOTHING”

“NO MATTER HOW LOUD, NO MATTER WHAT YOU EXCLAIM EVERYONE IS TRYING TO KILL YOU. EVERYONE IN THE WORLD IS YOUR ENEMY. EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING THOUGHT YOU’D BE BETTER OFF DEAD”

“AND ARE YOU FINE WITH IT? CAN YOU LET IT GO JUST LIKE THAT? CAN YOU ACCEPT IT? CAN YOU ACCEPT DEATH?”

the boy seems scared, but not looking back from me

“NOW, SAY IT!”.

“IF YOU DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPENED, THEN SAY IT!”

“IF YOU CANNOT ACCEPT IT, THEN SPEAK”

“IF YOU CANNOT MOVE, THEN MOVE!”

“WHAT IS IT THAT YOU TRULY WANTED!?”

…..

in silence that seems like forever.

the boy begin to speak

“i..”

“i am..”

“what ...i truly wanted”

the boy renewed his vigor

“I WANT TO LIVE..!

the boy shouts

like a dam been broken, the boy keep speaking what's he’s been hiding for so long

“I DON'T WANT TO DISSAPEAR LIKE THIS! I DON'T WANT TO PITIED BY OTHER RACE TOO!”

“I HATE THE OTHERS THAT GIVEN UP WITHOUT FIGHTING! I HATE THE ONE THAT REFUSE TO HELPING US WHEN WE WERE IN NEED! I HATE THOSE THAT TOLD US WE WERE BETTER OFF BE DEAD!”

“I WANT TO MAKE THEM PAY! I WANT TO, TO SHOWN THEM OUR PRIDE! I WANT TO SHOW THEM OUR LIVES”

“I… WANT TO LIVE..”

cannot hold his tears anymore the boy keep crying

….

everyone start to pay attention to the boy voices

i didn't speak anything anymore except staring at him with a cold eyes

and then.

taking a bottle from my storage, i opened it and spreading it to them

“?”

“this water..?”

everyone start to confused, and then

“OOH, MY WOUND IS HEALING?”

“MY ARMS, IT GROW BACK?”

“AAH, DEAR! DEAR!”

they started to make a noise

some cry tears of joys, some hugged their loved one, some looks so happy that they keep jumping

whatever it was, it was a miracle

…..

it was called a elixir

among the item from goddess place, i only found a handful of them

it said to be able to cure any wound and sickness except death

a legendary elixir that supposed to be not in this world

truth is i didn't plan to use it at all.

but since blood is in my head i used it anyway

oh well, what done is done. whatever.

having calmed down a bit, i stand up

“from now on, you guys will be living in hell”

“don’t blame me. it was what you choose after all”

“instead of a peaceful cold embrace of death, you guys choose to live and suffer”

“your end will never be good, and your live will never gonna be easy either”

“still, take responsibility”

“if others decide you guys are useless, then fight back”

“if others said you guys are better be off dead, then live”

“if more of you guys are lost, then grow more”

“if you lost more than you gained, then gain more than what has been lost”

“inside this world of contradiction, don’t ever hope to live a peaceful life”

“welcome, to the gates of hell. your one way trip without any return”

“however, congratulations for now”

“because at this moment”

i exclaims

“you are, truly being reborn into this world”