-I never learn huh? Ahahaha you just realized?-

……

….

It hurts,

I feel like i was inside a bottomless hole.

My whole body feel screamed all over, and i feel like i cannot differentiate between dream and reality.

Feels like i was seeing a room like a laboratory for instant.

But i lost consciousness soon after that.

Then, i wake up again and feels the same pain.

The cycle is continued for god know how long.

I can’t even stay conscious long enough to turn off the pain sense.

Awake, pain, dream. Endlessly vicious cycle of something that can be called hell.

Ahh..

i guess i’m in hell.

Well fuck,

it figures.

A criminal will never have a good end.

The end of a villain is always crueler than death.

I guess,

this is my “punishment”

………….

………..

…...

….

...

Screw that.

Like i’m gonna lose with those pain.

It hurts? So what?

Pain is proof that i’m still alive.

So that means i am still alive.

I might meet my “end” someday, just like all of the living creature.

All things that born is fated to die after all.

But.

Not now.

Not like this.

Not when i still had a desire to fulfill.

Not when i still had things to do.

Not.. When i still got this unexplained flame come from deep inside of “me”

Is it hate? Ambition? pride?

Its neither…

But…

Somehing more simple…

The desire that steams from every humans.

The annex and basic of all living things.

Not yet…

As long i did not lose this feelings.

As long as i still not forget.

I, won’t let death become my end yet.

Knowing that, i brace myself from the endless pain.

I seriously thought i was gonna die over and over and over and over again..!

But

But

But!

I refuse.

I keep holding on.

Clinging into live, i keep getting pushed like a straw among the waterfall.

I keep holding on, forcefully, and struggling for the remaining life of my life.

Seeing myself as a small ember almost drown, i refuse to be extinguished.

After a long time of struggling that seems like a eternity.

A light is coming into my sight.

Then,

i started to opened my eyes.

……

“...”

It’s the same white ceiling like before...

it feels like a lot time has passed.

Whatever,

i tried to get up.

Only to get assaulted by a sudden pain all over my body.

“OWW!”

Shit.

I forgot.

I turned off the pain sense immediately once i wake up.

*phew*

I start to feels at ease.

but my body still feels weak.

“..?”

I feel something different in my arms...

Realizing what is it, i watch at my right arm.

….

“...”

It’s clearly not mine.

The skin is more white and slender, and from shoulder above there's a trace of scar like surgery.

What happened? While i was pondering that...

He was coming out unannounced like usual.

“Oh! Thank god, you return conscious”

While wearing a lab coat over his dojo outfit

Yeah, it doesn't fit at all...

It looked like a cosplay instead of an actual doctor.

If a actual doctor was here, he would probably scream “Are you making fun of doctor? Shall i let you see how dangerous a malfunction operation is?”

“I was worried. You stay unconscious for 4 months and keep having nightmare. The elixir didn’t return the body part that you lose, so i have no choice to operate you to attach your arm. Unfortunately it completely disappear, so i have no choice but to attach a new arm. Thankfully i find a fresh body part from searching in another dimension and it fits.”

“Well, it's the first time i have done a operation and i don't have any sedative. There's a limit of using magic after all and my magic potential is suck since the beginning”

Hearing that i was surprised.

I’m still feeling weak from just waking up, but i ignore it.

“Whoa, wait. don't force yourself to stand. Just staying alive from the antimatter bomb it's already a miracle. And even elixir cannot restore it completely”

That's not it!

I was gonna yell,

but once he was nearing me, i grab his collar.

That's not the fucking problem, the problem is..

“HOW LONG DID YOU SAY I WAS SLEEPING AGAIN?!”

“Ah.. like i said, about 4 months?”

“WHAT, DAY IS NOW?!”

“Ah, you can looked it there..”

Saying that, he shows me this world calendar.

There's similiar 30 days a month and 7 days a week like the earth..

And after looked at it…

I was surprised.

….

Only two weeks left for that day!

Considering the preparation and so on, i must start to moving them at least around ten days before.

Theres.. only less than a week left to start my “plan”

Crap!

This isn't the time to sleep!

“Ah, hey?”

Forcing myself to get up, i run into the door.

But, i slipped halfway.

Sheesh, Iskandar seems commenting.

“Don't push yourself okay? You really almost died back then. I’m the one that should have a complaint, but i’ll let it go. More importantly..”

He speak while pointed at me.

“Are you.. gonna go outside with that appearance?”

….

“...”

After he said that.

I looked closely at myself.

I was...

Nude,

Without wearing anything

“...”

Realizing that,

I glare at him like looking at the worst bug ever exist and the expression of disgust.

No.

Perhaps i’ve already not consider him as a living creature…

“Ah! Don't look at me like that! I don't have any other choice! You suddenly awake when i just finished operating you! I don't even have a time to put some clothes”

It’s feel like i’m hearing fucking a lot of excuse from typical eroge harem protagonist

Damn youu…! just how much far did you seen me this four months!?

You clearly already have a heroine and still trying to look at another woman? Are you planning for a harem ending!? Fucking horny bastard insect disgusting scum of shithole of society!

Erase it! Erase that figure from your memory and die while we’re at it!

Haah... hahh...

No good.

I’m too tired to standing up.

For me to feel this much pain even with turning off pain sense, just how badly injured am i?

Feels like he doesn't want to argue with me anymore, so he put his lab coat to me and carry me with princess carry to bed.

……...

…….

….

AARGGHHH!

YOU DONE IT NOW YOU BASTARD! THE MOST INFAMOUS SCENE FROM SHOUJO MANGA!

YOU THINK YOU'RE COOL OR SOMETHING? YOU WANNA GET SOME CARRY? THEN I’LL JUST USE SOCCER BALL CARRY TO BRING YOU!

BRING IT ON YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE!

EVEN IF I AM THE LAST REMAINING WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE I WOULD DENY IT WITH ALL MY MIGHT

EVEN IF THE WHOLE LIFE EXCEPT ME EXTINGUISHED, I WOULD JUST ENJOY IT FULLY ALONE

NEVER LOOKS DOWN ON MY DETERMINATION TO SURVIVE! AHAHAHA

...crap, trying to struggling and thinking unrelated things only making me feels really tired.

I’m really feels exhausted like i was a baby just learning to walk. Is that bomb even drain my spirit?

If i turn on my pain sense, i’m sure i even won't be able to walk.

realizing this...

I guess.. I really almost died huh?

close..

I’m not planning to die a second time.

If i die once again, i doubt i can be revived...

The Goddess said herself that my soul is badly damaged.

What happened if even my soul is broken without being able to be repaired? I guess that's one thing i shouldn't find out.

I will not stop being reckless though! Ahahaha!

Don't get me wrong, i still consider my live dear to me.

But if by protecting my life i have to thrown away the way of life i have done until now there's no point in living anymore right?

Just by living... just by stay only living but you're dead inside... what's the difference of that with death?

Hmm...

Why did i get so fixated with the point of living?

…..

….

Huh...

Whatever.

i’m sure i’ll find out the answer someday.

Then,

once he put down me on the bed, Iskandar bows.

“Sorry, and thanks”

Saying that, he bows.

“..?”

I don't get it.

Why must he be thankful with someone that almost killed him?

Then,

pulling out something from the table beside, he shown me something.

It was..

the photo album of him and Goddess..

The one that i teared apart.

At least, the remains.

Then,

he begin to talk.

“Back then”

“I..might made a wrong choice”

Then,

He start explaining his circumstances

About him leaving the Goddess, stole her memories, fighting the dragon king...

Until this time.

“Honestly, at some point somewhere i thought i made a wrong choice over and over again”

“However, hearing you yelling at me i realized..”

He gripped the album .

“That, i was just running away”

He continues.

“I.. i am afraid to heard her reply. I was afraid that it would break our current relationship”

“However, if i don't start then i wont finish either. I delayed it for too long, but no more. Just like you said, only i can finish my story that i started”

“Thanks to you i realized my feeling after this long time just now. I never realize that my annoyed feeling with her children all this time is probably a jealousy”

“Once again, th..”

Knowing what he gonna say, i stopped him further with my hand.

“Stop”

I continued.

“I didn't do anything and not doing anything to deserve your thanks. I am not deserving any gratitude too.”

“Don't forget that i was still trying to murder you. Whatever happened cannot change that fact. And i won't promise i won't try to murder you any other time too”

“As long as our path is crossed, i would keep trying to kill you. You and i are a polar opposites. Neither of us can remain in the same world as each other without crossing blades. You're a wall that i should surpass eventually, and i cannot let this trivial matter made you run away from our fight to death”

After all.

“I, will definitely kill you”

I speak with all of my heart.

I cannot tolerate the rightful path of this man any longer.

However, letting him die and running away easily is not my intention too.

I, only by my hand and me alone that i will kill him personally.

That's how i do things, and i have no intention to change that.

Die by my hand or die in your beloved arms, no matter what you would eventually die.

“You will regret someday for not letting me die. I am your enemy and i will not let you go until one of us die. We are the villain and the protagonist, no such scenario or ending where we both lived happened”

“So remember, and ingrained fear of me deep inside you...”

Hearing what i said while staring at him, he get a surprised face.

Well that's good.

I keep hearing his “voice” till now.

Honestly it's annoying that he was speaking in my heads and ears, so i stopped him.

It was supposed to become the destined moment of the “hero meets villain”

If only this didn't happened...

*KRUUUUK*

“…”

“...”

My stomach is rumbling.

Ah crap, i’m not eating anything in four months!

Then,

he laughs.

“pfft..”

And loud too.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

….

“....”

Shit!

Why did you choose that fucking bad timing, my stomach!?

Thanks to you, it become a joke scene instead!

Is it my fate? Huh?

Lately i feel like i’ve starting to become a joke material.. Huh? Huh? What is this? Did someone fucking messed up the fate line or something? Hey God, Buddha, Hououin Kyouma or anything. Do something about the fucking messed up world line don’t you? Did you combine the world line wrong? Did you combine the alpha and beta world line together as a line other than steins gate or gamma world line? Huh? Is that it? You useless fucker! Incompetent chuunibyou!

While i was desperate for my condition, he laughs for awhile after that.

After he stopped.

“Khukhu.. i see.. i get it”

He seems to decided something.

“Then”

Offering his hand to help me stand, he said.

“Shall we eat something then? My villainess?”

….

“...”

I didn't reply.

And i only feels like my hatred to him increased instead.

Yeep, i can’t stand him after all...