Temperance and I were laughing all the way there. She complimented my rough jadedness with teenage energy and I helped her teenage despondency with my harrowing tales of bravery (sarcasm intended). I laughed as she flipped a group of leering boys with too much hair gel on that were shouting cat calls at her. She shrieked with delight as I grabbed her and jumped a hundred feet in the air. We ran past drunk groups of frat boys that tried to hassle us and when Temperance pulled out her knife, they all suddenly decided that they had somewhere else to be. We ran like this for a while, not saying anything, just enjoying the companionable silence between people that knew that nothing needed to be said-just a quiet understanding that ran deep. I didn't think of her like a potential girlfriend or anything, just a friend with no bridges burned. She told me of how ran away from home the moment she graduated from high school and how she had been sneaking into the classes at the liberal arts college in D.C and I told her about when took on a pack of kobolds with nothing but a broken branch.

When we finally reached the Smithsonian, we looked up at the marble columns and I thought of Greece. It was not the crumbling nation of now but I thought of the Parthenon in its glory days, of when Greece was the center of learning in all of the known world. Of when being a Greek citizen made you a blessed man. Of when people would gather at the marketplaces to hear philosophers speak. That age was gone, but this age is here. Temperance grabbed my hand and dragged to the front. When the security guard came over, she burst out running and I chased after her on the pretense of catching a rebellious daughter. I was glad the security guard couldn't see my mischievous grin.

While the museums on Earth had nothing on the museums back in Avalon, the Smithsonian was more...respectable. We had garish displays of mini-cthulhus on display for all to see, with handy diagrams pointing to the half-digested bodies of its victims. Here, there were gorgeous bouquets of flowers from around the world. We had ceilings designed to mimic the catacombs of one of our worse warlords. In the Smithsonian, there was a room designed to look like a cave, with stalactites hanging from the ceiling to produce breathtakingly beautiful crystals. If The Grey Historical Museum was designed to vault the atrocities of Man and the horrors that lies beneath the world's shadows, then The Smithsonian was built to celebrate the natural world and the arts crafted by Man.

I stood in front of a giant crystal that seemed to never have a specific color for an innumerable amount of time, until Temperance grew tired of my geeking out and poked me in the side. "What's so interesting about a bunch of rocks anyways? They aren't that valuable," I just merely said in response "Only fools believe that only that which sparkles is beautiful, wise ones know that their true value lies in their complexity," Temperance only gave me a strange look and walked a few feet away. Just to spite her, I admired the rock some more until setting out to do what I was here for; to retrieve an artifact of unknown power. I asked her if she knew where the archives were and she told me that she did. I asked her how and she grinned as she said "It's amazing how much the stuff in there sells for," My eyes bulged as I found out that she had sold priceless pieces of humanity's inheritance off. She rejoiced in my sputtering outrage.

She set off running again as she bolted towards a set of doors. I shook my head ruefully as I followed behind her. Surprisingly, there was none there to stop us or ask us what we were doing here. It wasn't until we reached the bottom of the stairs that Temperance finally turned around and got uncomfortably close to me to ask why I wanted to go into the archives. I was about to answer when I was interrupted by a familiar voice "Why he's here to steal a very important artifact. One that could upset the balance of the world if the legends are what they are as cracked up to be," Dispelling her veil was The Gaping Maw. One of my eyes twitched nervously as she walked leisurely towards us.

Temperance froze like a deer in the headlights as her eyes locked onto the multitude of mouths on her neck. I shifted my hand subtly to grab my gun as I said calmly "What do you want with us, Maw?" She chuckled with all of her mouths-a disturbing sight to behold-and said "Why to find the artifact,"

"Interesting," I said as I pulled out my gun and let loose a series of shots that let out a dull thud as they were chewed by her mouths like I was throwing pieces of popcorn at her. Not caring that they did nothing, I kept firing. She theatrically yawned and with a flick of her wrist, pulled my gun out of my hands with her whip. I did the only logical thing that came to mind, I ran with Temperance in tow. Crowing in laughter, Maw flicked her whips and pulled down a shelf laden high with papers and materials that must've weighed a ton with one, easy movement. The sheaths of paper flew down like dead doves. I ran past every shelf and Maw pulled down everyone with a sadistic smile that grew wider as the number of bookshelves decreased. A fact that I was growing painfully aware of. Temperance hissed at me "Why aren't you using your magic to kill the bitch!" I couldn't help myself, I laughed. "I can't "kill the bitch" as you so eloquently said because she's an Xandrite. A species of monsters closely related to vampires but instead of sucking blood, they suck magic. She has probably killed more mages than we've been alive," She looked skeptical even though we were running away from a multi-mouthed creature from Hell.

"She looked pissed off at you, I'm guessing that you managed to beat her before," Oh, curses on intelligent women! Why do they have to ask questions! I sighed and said "Yes, but that was when I had Infernal Acid. Which is incredibly expensive and I used the last of it on her already," She had a look that reminded me of my teachers when I told them that didn't bring a pencil to class. "Does she have a name or are we playing the pronoun game?" Temperance asked. "Yes but it's in a series of clicks that I could never be able to pronounce. Why does that matter anyways?" Temperance shrugged and handed me a Molotov Cocktail, proving to me once again that all the cute girls are as crazy as bats. I smiled approvingly as I took it from her and asked her to light it. "It'll be my pleasure," she said as she took out her lighter and lit the cocktail after she finished lighting her own cigarette.

I shook my head ruefully as I saw this, she had more sass in her than people twice her age. She saw this and gave me a wink. And let me tell you, with the books flying everywhere, the pieces of ancient relics lying broken at our feet, and her wonderfully crazy self that it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. We rounded the corner of the last bookshelf and Maw taunted us with "Looks like your running is over, Jack. It's been nice knowing-," She cut herself off as she saw me; a disheveled man holding a Molotov with a girl at his side that was wearing incredible amounts of black but still managed to look more colorful than both of us combined that was smoking a cigarette as a epic battle occurred. "Ah, fuck," Maw muttered as her whip that she sent out preemptively to snag us instead hit the Molotov, sending a firestorm of modern Greek Fire raining down on her.

It was incredibly disturbing to see dozens of mouths screaming in pain at the same time. They all were writhing in pain and the fire went down their gullets, I wonder if the mouths had tiny, little brains of their own. For the second time in a row, I won. The Gaping Maw went berserk with pain and was rampaging. She tore great ruts in the marble floor, carving them like butter. She screeched like a harpy and caused us to frantically cover our ears. She finally used her titanic strength to bust a whole in the wall and tunnel her way out. I wonder what the media would make of a burning, multi-mouthed, whip-wielding monster. They'll probably blame it as some kind of liberal art project. Impressive, how even with magic publicly accepted that they still find a way to pin it on something safe and normal.

The mundane people are far too obsessed with everything fitting into a neat little box that they forget about all the things that don't fit. I was saw a demon rampaging through London and having the government blame it on a juiced-up drug addict. As if a druggie could punch holes through one feet of industrial steel beam. But hey, if they want to bury their hand in the sand, more power to them.

I turned around to say something funny to Temperance, when she slapped me extremely hard across the face. She had tears on her red face. "You could've gotten us killed! I almost died! You dick!" This was completely incongruous with her previous badass demeanor. I gaped at her confused as she kept on hitting me and slapping me, but she was growing increasingly inaccurate as her tears got more prolific. I asked confusedly "But you seemed calm and composed and chill before?" She got even madder when she heard me say that and began trying to kick me in my testicles. I didn't know what to do, but in the movies this was usually when the guy hugs the girl.

Needless to say, I wasn't used to hugging people and it was incredibly awkward. I was slowly holding my arms out and kind of just grabbing her into a weird hug. She stiffened up for a few moments but then relaxed. She accepted my hug and I let her cry her feelings out. A few minutes passed until she stopped crying. A few more before she silently moved out of my embrace. "Thanks, but never hug me again," She said quietly. I smirked and said "Believe me, that was as awkward for me as for you," I did a mock shiver and grinned down at her. She managed a small smile and said mouselike "It was probably more awkward for you, but it was more painful for me," Obviously, there was something going on that I didn't know about and I wasn't one to pry.

I changed the subject hurriedly and asked her about why she was crying. I know, I know that wasn't the most tactful way to do things but I was put on the spot there. She barked out a harsh laugh and said "I'm sorry that I'm not som sort of wizard that sees stuff like this everyday, but a chick with mouths all over her like a fucking tapeworm is kinda scary. Even more so when she's trying to kill you," I chuckled embarrassingly when I realized that I didn't think of that. She pulled out another cigarette and offered me one, I was about to refuse but I saw the look in her eye that said I better take it or else. I tentatively took one drag before bursting into a coughing fit. She rolled her eyes and kept smoking. A few more minutes passed before she asked me curiously "Where are you from, anyways?" I said simply "Avalon," She started coughing and said "Avalon! But that's illegal!" I sighed and wondered how badly I fucked up this time.