《WTF [Dropped version]》2 - Witness two funerals
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It was the local liquor store who first noticed Wally missing. His friends and family just assumed he was extending his fishing trip as he often did. It wasn't until a few days later that a search party was sent out. His body was found and retrieved not long after. Destiny Fish had helped by magically lifting his body back into the boat and directing the boat back to shore near Wally's car.
There was a nice funeral in the local graveyard a few days later. Destiny swam over through the air and watched from a distance. Friends and family cried as they reminisced about loony old Wally, always off trying to catch an imaginary golden fish. He was buried in a nice spot in the local graveyard and life went on.
In Lake Fortune, a soul and a fish were swimming together. Destiny Fish chatted away as Wally’s soul bobbed along behind him.
“Seriously bro, everyone was like, all high tension all the time. It was a huge downer. There were all these ‘veiled threats' and ‘subtle political plays’. It just wasn't for me, ya know? ‘
Destiny fish was actually pretty rubbish at magic. His famously lazy attitude and unwillingness to apply himself is what led him to self exile in Lake Fortune. He had no real idea what was supposed to happen to Wally after he cast 'destined to meet again'. He had always just assumed that he and the target would be immortal until they met again. But Wally was dead and was now just a disembodied soul wrapped in destiny string. Apparently meeting with Wally's soul didn't meet the requirements to end the spell. Destiny's best guess was this meant that Wally and him would have to meet again in the flesh.
Usually a soul would dissipate back into the collective metaphysical ether of the universe after death. There were very few methods for a soul to exist outside of a body for more than a moment. But Wally's had stuck around for weeks now, not really doing anything. Destiny had found a kindred spirit in a way.
He figured that eventually Wally’s would do something like reincarnate or grow a new body out of nothing. But for now he was happy to have the company. He was truthfully pretty lonely. The other fish in Lake Fortune weren't magical enough to converse with so having Wally's soul around to talk to was therapeutic. The soul wasn't conscious, nor could talk back. But it was a good listener.
"Yeah, so I had to turn Laser Fish down unfortunately. There's really only one girl out there for me Wally. Gosh, let me tell you about the goddess of Creation!"
The universe’s first step in reuniting Destiny Fish and Wally was to orchestrate a murder.
Snow began falling on the lake.
" Whaaaat? Hold that thought Wally, bro. Let's go check out what's happening up there."
He swam up and breached the surface with his head. Large snowflakes drifted gently down and melted on the ground. There was a crisp and beautiful silence that comes with such snowfalls. It had been late summer up until a moment ago so this was quite surprising.
"Whooooaaaa! Bro, you ever seen something like this before? Trippy! What's going on?"
A dark purple vortex opened up a few metres away. Out of it swam a butterfly goldfish so black that it absorbed all light appearing as an empty black void in the water. In its fin was a pure white wand that almost shone in brightness.
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"Hello Destiny Fish" it greeted somberly.
"Haha Teleport Fish?! Dude! What's up? Long time no see, man!"
"Sorry, I'm not here to chat, Destiny. World Fish is recalling all fish for a meeting. Weather fish was killed. Hurry through the portal please. "
" Weather Fish? Oh no! Who? Why? What..."
"All will be explained in the meeting. Now go through."
"Yeah, alright. Yeah.."
Destiny Fish felt shell shocked as he swam towards the portal.
"Wait." Teleport Fish stopped him. "What is that?" He asked, pointing at Wally's soul.
"Oh that's my bro, Wally. Can I bring him with?"
"No, I don't think that's a good idea. Leave it here.. Is 'Wally' a soul? What the heck have you been up to Destiny?" Teleport Fish Knew Destiny was weird but hadn't expected him to have a pet soul. "You know what, never mind. Don't answer; I don't want to know. Just leave it and go through."
"Right-o. Welp, later Wally bro. Take it easy. Don't do anything I wouldn't hehehe." Destiny Fish finished his goodbye, then turned and headed through the portal.
Teleport Fish took one last look at Wally's soul, shook his head, and followed after Destiny Fish. The portal closed after him.
After some time Wally's soul floated away, finally leaving Lake Fortune. Thunder crashed in the distance.
Destiny Fish and Teleport fish appeared on the magical fish homeworld 'Siren'. It was abuzz with activity.
Teleport fish told Destiny where to go then opened a new portal and left to retrieve another fish.
The mood was tense. A magic fish had never been killed before in the entire history of the universe. Destiny didn't even know it was possible. Many fish swam towards the meeting area. Destiny swam along with the crowd falling between Metal Fish and Kinetic Fish. Metal Fish was an iron barracuda with a straight iron wand, kinetic fish was a sporty red arrow fish with a lightning shaped yellow wand.
"Heya girls. Long time, no see. Can either of you tell me what happened?" Destiny asked
Metal Fish loved to gossip. She glanced over, her metal eyes creaked in doing so. "Oh Destiny Fish, dear. I heard you've been away. Let me catch you up. Weather Fish and a race called 'The Scientists' have been in a conflict after they created some kind of weather machine."
"Ahh yeah she'd hate that. Them having a machine that can do what her powers do would really like, hurt or pride or something. They're called The Scientists? Really? What If you're a scientist of the scientist race doesn't that make you a The Scientists scientist? hehehe."
"Goddess, Destiny! Shut up!" Kinetic Fish exclaimed " Weather Fish is dead and you're making jokes about her murderers!"
" No, I wasn't... I just..."
She activated her powers and sped away forward.
"Don't mind her, Destiny. We're all grieving and tensions are high. No one wants to believe it's true. To answer your question, yes, they are called The Scientists scientists. It's ridiculous, I know. Turns out it wasn't just Weather's power they copied with a machine. They have these dreadful lasers based off of Laser Fish. They lured Weather into a trap and shot her with hundreds of lasers all at once. It was just awful. I heard from Divination Fish. She saw the whole thing." Metal fish said.
'Duuude, those guys suck! Unbelievable! What scumbags!"
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"Yes they are. And now they'll pay for it. This is the meeting spot. I must go greet some fish before it begins. I hope to see you again soon, Destiny darling."
"Later, Metal. Thanks for catching me up."
With a metallic creak of her body she swam off into the crowd.
They had arrived at a seafloor plaza with a central stage made of Coral. Destiny swam around for a few minutes until he spotted his friend, Time Fish. Time Fish was a white Sunfish with numbers and lines on his body in the shape of a clock. His wand looked like the two arms of a clock.
"Hey, dude." Destiny greeted.
"Destiny" he greeted back with a small smile. He had obviously been crying. Time had always been an extremely emotional Fish.
Destiny knew he just needed a friend right now more than any small talk so he stayed by his side in silence as they waited.
A crowd had gathered around the stage. Silence fell over the crowd as tiny blue and green puffer fish holding a sceptre shaped wand with a large round head. This was World Fish.
World Fish was tiny but his voice was loud, deep, gravelly. "Weather Fish is dead." Was all he said. A full minute of silence followed. Then he spoke again. "We all knew her. She was passionate, driven, charming, and powerful." Again he paused. " She was taken from us by brutish thugs. They will pay for their crimes a thousand times over fear not. But now we remember weather fish."
The magical fish had never held a funeral before. They cried and took turns on stage to share their fondest memories of Weather fish. As things came to a close the world fish returned to the stage followed by 3 others: There was an emerald angler fish with an entrancing green light dangling in front of her, Divination Fish. A neon pink and white lionfish, stunningly beautiful, Laser Fish. Finally an enormous, glowing, blue Nomura jellyfish, DNA jellyfish.
"The Scientists are a race not to be taken lightly. They have proven themselves to be dangerous and so we must treat them accordingly. There should be no half measures taken. I have an idea.”
World fish was famous for his ideas.
“I propose that the fish go to war." The world shook with World Fish's proposal. “Do all here agree with my proposal?”
The fish were millenniums old but had never once been to war with anyone. They were too powerful. No one should have dared to oppose them. Yet here they floated, mourning their lost sister. Fish after fish shouted their approval.
“Lets get ‘em”
“For Weather Fish!”
“No mercy to the Scientists!”
World Fish motioned for silence and then spoke again, "Then it is decided, for the crime of overstepping their bounds and taking our sister from us I sentence The Scientists to death. They will learn that their science is no match for our magic. It was us The Goddess gifted power, not them."
He gestured to the fish on stage with him "Upon the stage with me are the fish who I believe would best serve as our generals for this war. Divination Fish can provide us with information and communication. DNA Jellyfish should be best in charge of complicated situations such as subterfuge and sabotage. Laser Fish will be the general of direct battle, obviously. And I will fortify and prepare our defences here on Siren should we ever need them. Telepathy Fish will send you your assignments shortly. Goddess bless the fish!"
" GODDESS BLESS THE FISH!" Several in the crowd chanted.
"Putting fish in charge of other fish is never gonna end well." Destiny mused to Time. "I'll be with Divination Fish for sure, our powers match super well. Wonder who you'll get stuck with."
Telepathy Fish spoke into his mind, "Destiny, you're with DNA"
"Whaaaat? Why?" Destiny sent back. But the mental link was already broken.
"Weeeeiiird, dude. I'm with with DNA Jellyfish. How 'bout you?"
"Actually, so am I, nice!." Said Time.
They swam over to where DNA's contingent was gathered.
"Sup DNA. Isn't it kinda weird me being assigned to you. I'm like, not so sneaky or sabotagical."
"I know you aren't. You're useless everywhere. But I actually have the perfect job for you." Jellyfish replied. He was as rude and aggressive as Destiny remembered him. "You're gonna cast 'destined to meet again' on me then get the hell away and never see me again. Then I'm gonna use my new destined invincibility to go on a Scientist murdering spree."
"Oh, 'destined to meet again'? Yeah dude I can't do that sorry."
" You.. WHAT?! Did you not hear World Fish? You take orders from me now!"
" Yeah na, it's not like that. I mean like I literally can't"
"Shut your Goddess damned mouth a second and listen to me. What do you mean you can't?! Speak slowly and clearly for me."
"I gotta open my mouth to speak dude hehehe." DNA looked furious so Destiny continued quickly. " Yeah man, so like, as you probably know, 'destined to meet again' is a single cast spell. I can't do it again until I meet the dude or dudette in question again. And so yeah I cast it on my bro Wally a while back. He's this absolute mad Dogg human I met on earth. And now I can't cast it now."
" YOU USED IT ON A NON-FISH?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?!!" DNA took a moment to calm himself. "Ok, That's not a problem. We'll get Teleport Fish to take you to meet this man to reset the spell."
"Hahaha oh yeah, that's the thing. Wally died like, right after I cast the spell. Classic Wally heh. He's just this rad floating soul now. Meeting his soul doesn't count, I checked. So yeah, for reals, I can't cast it."
DNA Jellyfish quivered in anger. He practically growled his next words "I will find a new assignment for you. Something suited to your talents. Go get ready and stay out of my sight. Take Time with you."
'Classic DNA' Destiny thought as he swam off with Time Fish.
And so it came to be that Destiny Fish's own destiny threw him head first into an intergalactic war. He decided to write letters back home to Wally. He had no idea how he'd send the letters or how Wally would even read them without eyes. But that was a problem for another time.
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