《Lost souls, will be rewritten soon. (Old version)》45. I want to make my own decision.
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Az on the other hand stood there in silence.
'I should have never made him my minion. My minion only should be out of people willing to serve me. In the end, I'm responsible for destroying a family,' went through Az's head as his mood worsened.
Simaev standing behind Az, whispered to him: "Why are you in a bad mood?"
Az paused for a brief moment before starting to whisper: "Because I'm responsible for destroying a family I never knew of. I destroyed a child's family around my age without even batting an eye."
While Az was talking, he paused several times to rethink his mistake.
Slowly he clenched his fist and resumed talking: "I'm not better than the people I despise. I don't even know if I can ever make up for such a thing."
Simaev had a more difficult time showing emotions as a skeleton, which is why she only stroked through Az with her cold bones.
"The situation is not as black and white as you think. Remember that you only acted according to Ogron's order. You're also still a child. But even then, you still harbor responsibility for your action," she whispered to Az.
Az just nodded, and a single tear rolled down his face.
'If only I had dared to say no to Ogron. If I had only made my own decisions instead of following the decisions of others. It might have ended differently," whispered Az as he hugged Simeav. He hid his ugly crying from the others.
Simaev only continued with: "It is always better if you make the decisions yourself. But making decisions is a two-edged sword because the one who makes the decision always bears the full responsibility. Half-hearted responsibility can be borne only when you did not make the decision."
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Az nodded at her words and slowly stopped with the crying before stating: "I understand. I should also perhaps listen to Hideka. There's a reason why kids my age aren't taught necromancer magic."
Az interrupted his speech only briefly to dry his wet eyes. Snot ran out of him which he wiped on his clothes. Not very hygienic, but what can you do. Not everyone seems to have a handkerchief.
"Each magic element has its own problems. But the responsibility that a magician carries is different, for example, a fire mage has the responsibility not to burn down the whole forest. But what is your responsibility as a necromancer?" Simaev asked Az before stopping her words.
"I don't know. I've been a mage for a month, and I never once asked myself such questions. I never put much thought into the consequences of my magic focus. My focus was only on how can I increase my spell arsenal," Az responded with a sense of shame.
Simaev only shook her head before resuming with: "That explains a lot. I'm really sorry that you had to fight for your life from the beginning without ever having any proper magic classes. The first thing they teach aspiring mages is a lesson on the responsibilities of a mage."
She stopped with her talk and gave Ogron a stern look, who only shook his head.
"Necromancer magic does not really have positive elements. With fire you can burn, with water you can water plants, but with necromancer magic, you can only kill.
It is even worse. Not only is Necromancer magic the magic you use to exterminate, but it is also the magic you use to give the dead a second chance. Those dead, that were never meant to walk the earth again. The dead whose stories should have already ended. You raise the dead to do your bidding for you. As a necromancer, you are responsible for disturbing the rest of the dead and for their actions."
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Az only sighed: "You're right again. It's time for me to focus on more than just necromancer magic. I should aspire to be like Hideka. Being able to use spells from a different range of elements/disciplines. Instead of only focussing on one element."
After getting lectured by Simaev, Az felt a bit refreshed.
'I finally got an idea how to continue moving forward from now. Until now, I was moving aimlessly in the forest, but hopefully, that will change from now.'
Ogron, on the other hand, could only sigh at such a scene.
'I may be cold, but I forgot that Az is still an emotional child. Out of kindness, I thought it would be acceptable if we granted him the right to say goodbye. I should never have let this situation happen in front of Az,' Ogron thought as he carefully leaned towards the young Az.
"Well, Az. Thoughts such as [what if], won't help you in solving such a situation," he told Az.
"I know, but in the face of such a situation, I just can't help myself. If only you... If only you didn't push me with making him, my minion. We would never have ended up in such a situation," Az responded harshly.
"That may be true, but you still need a mage teacher, and you seem to forget the situation you're in," Ogron commented coldly back.
"You are a nobody who would be killed sooner or later because of your three Minions. How are you going to protect yourself? You know very well that you are a golden goose. Every other mage would kill you just to get your Minions, which is why you need a loyal mage teacher. Az, please tell me who is more loyal than your own minion?" Ogron questioned Az.
But before Az could even answer back, Ogron resumed lecturing the young child: "You forget that he is the only one to blame. Whoever attacks a child deserves nothing better."
At that moment, Az realized that he had no arguments against his Master.
"Yes, you're right, but still. I want to make my own decisions rather than following yours."
Ogron only laughed at his words. He rested his skeleton arm on the white marble wall before asking Az the following question.
"You only want to be the decisionmaker because you feel a sense of shame about the clusterfuck that happened here, right?"
"Yes. I hope that I can prevent such a situation from happening again. I'll also put my focus on other elements from now on since Necromancer magic carries its own share of bad qualities," Az stated.
Ogron's smile only grew larger after hearing Az's words.
"I understand your desire. But you shouldn't forget that you are a young and weak mage. Sometimes you have to put your morals aside if you want to survive. I don't want you to have no morals, but rather that you sometimes turn a blind eye," Ogron stated while slowly grabbing Az's hand.
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