Five more years had passed as I waited for the days of my glorious reign. I knew I had to appear patient to stay on the archangel’s good side. Nevertheless, all his procrastination was grating on my last nerve.

I was even more annoyed by that silly unicorn brat. Every day, she twirled round and round in the throne room, looking at who knows what in the ceiling. There were only so many times you can be amazed by the ceiling’s mirrors of desire. When I first gazed into them, I had a vision of myself as a glorious Sun King. I saw numerous crowns of glory that displayed the utmost radiance. As time went by, however, the images kept getting dimmer and dimmer until I only saw my reflection in the moment.

In any case, I began to make a habit of avoiding the silly Miss Unicorn Princess by staying away from the throne room at all costs. On one morning, however, I walked into the dining room for breakfast and found my two least favorite people anyway.

The archangel and his special princess were sitting at the table eating frosted cupcakes. In honor of Miss Unicorn, they were topped with a gaudy degree of rainbow sprinkles. The archangel and the princess chatted to each other until they took notice of my entrance.

“Good morning, Lulu!” the brat exclaimed. “Happy My Seventh Birthday!”

I rolled my eyes, leaning against the wall. “Don’t you think it’s a bit early for you to be, you know, visible.”

“Good morning, Lucifer.” The archangel’s voice grew tense. “Speaking of visibility, don’t you think you should put on a shirt?”

Arching my back, I flexed my biceps in the most exaggerated way I could. “I just needed some time to stretch first, Archangel. Don’t be sour.”

“Does that happen when angels get very old?” the unicorn brat mused, titling her head.

“What?!” I choked.

Michael turned his face away from me and pretended to require all his concentration to analyze a birthday card on the table. It was bedazzled with sparkles that formed a picture of a unicorn horn. I was certain he handmade it himself.

“Stretching,” Miss Unicorn clarified. “Do angels need to stretch when they get old?”

“First of all,” I lectured. “Angels do not get old. And second, everybody stretches in the morning. It just feels good and it keeps you limber. Don’t you stretch?”

“Not every day.” Her tone actually sounded perplexed. “But when I try, I can still put my foot on my head, even if it’s been a really long time.”

The archangel looked like he was thoroughly engrossed in the birthday card. He shifted from reading its contents to gazing at the front. There wasn’t that much to read other than “Happy Birthday, Princess! Love, Michael.” I couldn’t see his face, but as I listened, I could pick up quiet, almost inaudible frequencies of laughter.

“How do you make your ears move, Lulu?” The brat exclaimed and pointed at my elven features.

“Stop watching me!” I yelled, causing her to flinch. I grinned as I relished her fearful reaction.

Michael shot me a stern look and my mind was suddenly flooded with telepathic signals marked by sound of his voice. He argued that I don’t need to be rude towards “my little sister.” I glared back at him, but he suddenly smiled. After an awkward period of silence, he added out loud, “Are you ready for breakfast?”

“Sure.” I sat at the other far end of the table. Even if I had to eat with them, they couldn’t make me sit close by.

Michael made a plate of two slices of cheese pizza materialize in front of him and it slid down towards me. He also sent down a napkin with a knife and fork wrapped in it.

“Oooh!” the princess’s eyes grew wide as she exclaimed at food she must have never seen before. “What’s that? It smells good! Weird, but good.” She bounced up and down in her chair.

I snickered. “It’s pizza, but it’s not for people like you. Only elven angels are permitted to eat this.”

“Pizza isn’t good for unicorn angels,” Michael explained in a gentle tone. He really was too soft on her. “It’s only edifying to elven people.” Selena looked disappointed, but then Michael added, “But they don’t get to eat cake, like we do. Every type of angel has their own special food or foods that are good for them. Pizza is for elves. Cake is for unicorns, alicorns, and catticorns. Cat angels eat ice cream and catticorn angels can eat both cake and ice cream.”

“Cake is disgusting anyway,” I said. “It’s too sweet and it’s sickening. Especially cheesecake.”

“There is no need to be rude, Lulu,” the archangel mocked.

“I like sweet things!” Selena exclaimed.

Michael smiled at her. “Would you like to see something sweeter?” He took out a strange swirled pink stick from…somewhere and stuck it inside of an extra cupcake. As he pushed it over to her, the end of the stick lit up with a brilliant shimmering light.

“Oooh,” Selena’s eyes grew wide in wonder. “It looks like a sparkle star.”

Michael chuckled. “Make a wish.”

I rolled my eyes.

Selena bounced in excitement. “I wish that-”

“Shhh! Don’t say birthday wishes out loud,” Michael whispered.

“Why?” she asked.

“Just don’t.” He shook his head and put a finger in front of his mouth.

Secret birthday wishes? Fine, whatever, I thought. I shoved the last bit of pizza in my mouth as I pushed my chair away from the table.

“Lucifer,” Michael called

“What now?” I scowled.

“Aren’t you going to say ‘excuse me’ before you leave the table?” he asked. “Also, you ate your entire meal with your hands and didn’t even touch your fork and knife. I’ve told you so many times. You’re a crown prince! You can’t just eat however you want, talk down to people, and act like no one taught you manners.”

“Excuse me, Michael the Archangel.” I clenched my hands into fists and made sure my voice sounded as gravel ridden as possible. “I will be going outside.”

“You are dismissed,” he responded.