Looking through the glass window into Valentine’s room I was holding myself together. There were three vampires that I had never seen before and Highlander holding Valentine down. He was bound by his writs and neck by silver. It was making his skin melt away from his kin and his thrashing was causing his wrists and ankles to smoke.

“Ahhh!” His screams are making me want to lean over and empty everything in my stomach. Every time he tried to move one of the vampires who push him back down into the bed. He pushed against their hands and he managed to free his right arm breaking off part of the bed and hurled the vampire that was holding that arm away from him. Highlander climbed on top of him and used his forearms to keep him place.

“Stay still Val! You’re just hurting yourself.”

“Let me go! It burns.”

“Can’t say I ‘m not enjoying this.” I hear Highlander say.

“This is like torture.” A small feminine horrified voice says. Danni stood next to me watching the aforementioned “torture” happen.

“I am so sorry, Danni.”

“You didn’t do this.” She places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes it.

“He heard you in some way in there.” I marvel. “I impaled him with my fingers and it took him a while to react, but your voice broke through to him instantly.”

“Probably just luck.” I grab her hand and give it a squeeze.

“I doubt it. He wanted you out of there. It’s by far the only sensible thing that has left his lips this entire time.” She shakes her head and doesn’t want to believe me. Who could blame me I don’t think I quite believe me.

A few more vampires come in and they begin to wheel Valentine’s bed out of the room. “I’ll kill you Gerald!” He howls. “I’ll kill you! RELEASE ME!” His bellowing was so loud it was making my eardrums shake.

Footsteps approach us from our left and I sigh in relief when I see Edge well and on his feet. Apart from his ripped and bloodied clothing he looked fine. He walks by us giving us a polite nod and asks the guards for permission to go in to see Valentine.

“Val, it’s going to be fine.” I didn’t think they were close. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Get off!” Valentine begs softly and Edge speaks low so I can’t hear him.

“I’ll slit all your throats and rip your heads off!” Valentine promises.

“Move already! I’m losing my grip.” Highlander orders. The guards each take a corner of the bed and begin to wheel his bed out of the infirmary with Highlander still straddling him forcing him to stay on the bed.

“Where are they taking him?” Danni asks worriedly.

“The cells below. The med bay isn’t equipped to deal with someone as strong as Val. In the basement they can restrain him until he is back to his normal self. I spoke with Gerald just now you will be assigned to Liliana for the next month until Val can come back.” Danni thanks him.

“As for us, we need to get ours asses in gear because we are being deployed next week, so we need to get training. Val’s missions are on an entirely different level.”

“Holy shit.” My hands begin to tremble. “We are new Gerry can’t just send us on these missions. I thought Highlander and Lewis were the top team at the moment they’re the ones that should be going.” Edge scratches his head and shakes his head in agitation.

“I fucking know that. I don’t understand what he is doing either.”

“Do you even know anything about his missions?” Edge shrugged his shoulders.

“I honestly don’t know Ainz. I always thought his missions were recons mission because of his power.”

“What’s his power?” My curiosity was piqued.

“I am not going to tell you, half the fun is finding out what it is.” Edge smiles softly and pulls me in for a hug. I went into his arms willingly like I had before liking how safe I felt there.

“This is a shit show.” He mumbles into my hair.

I knock on the familiar looking silver door and take a deep breath. “Come in.” Gerry’s obnoxious voice calls from the other end. I open the door and close it behind me. The second he lifted his eyes from his paperwork to look at me his features changed from calm to anger.

“What do you want?” He asks with a bite in his words.

“I want to apologize.” I don’t think by saving myself I had done anything wrong, but I needed Gerry to know that I come in peace right now.

“Well…” He gestures for me to continue with a theatrical wave of his hand. I bite my lip and give him a tight smile.

“I am sorry for injuring Valentine.”

“And?” The pompous asshole prompts. “That can’t be all you’re sorry for.”

“I am sorry for disobeying you.” I was glad that both my arms were resting behind my back because he couldn’t see me flipping him off.

“Good.” His anger fades and is replaced with a wide victorious smile. “And will you be doing it again?” He asks enjoying that he was stepping on my pride.

“No.” I grunt.

“No?” One day I was going to punch him in that smug face of his.

“No Sir.”

“Beautiful.” He says leaning comfortably in his chair. He picked up a pen resuming with what he was doing before I walked in then titled his head up and let out a joyful “No.”

“No what, Sir?” I ask confused.

“You’re here to ask me to give your missions to someone else, but nah.” He says casually refusing as if I had just offered him a cup of tea. “I could give these missions to someone else with decades more experience than you and I should it would be the correct thing to do, but the chance to see you fail that’s worth throwing a few missions.” He smiles.

“Are you insane?” I ask. “If you want me gone that badly then just fire me!” I yell.

“Why would I waste good bodies?” He asks.

“Bodies?” I parrot.

“I could in theory “fire” you, but I can’t have you compelled and I don’t really want to mess with the mood around here by having someone kill you.” My skin turns to ice. “And assume otherwise if I did choose to go down that route no one can tell me no. Honestly, while you are an annoying woman it is fun watching you assume that you have any sort of freedom in here. You’re trapped and watching you fight back is actually quite entertaining.”

No words can leave my mouth all I can do was suppress my shivers and listen to him. “Although,” He began scanning me from head to toe. “You would be easier to manage as a vampire, but I can’t risk something else popping out.” He mumbled to himself. “So I leave the choice in your hands. You can shut up and listen to me like you’re supposed to and stay alive as long as possible or I can have you killed right now. Pick.” He says cheerfully.

“I think you have been around monsters too long, Gerry.” He slams his hand on the desk and his entire body starts to shake.

“My vampires are not monsters. Vampires are perfect they’re nothing like you. Humans are flawed in every way and they are expendable.”

“What about you then, aren’t you expendable too?”

“I am nothing like you.” He grits his teeth.

“I couldn’t agree with you more. You’re definitely not human or a leader. Or a vampire either. Perhaps seeing the disappointment on your face every day you’re breathing oxygen might help me lull me to sleep at time, Sir.”

“Let me make one thing very clear.” He rises from his seat and walks around the giant desk. He leisurely walks by my side towering over me. “You can be as hard headed and defiant as you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that I own you.” I clutch my hands together trying to repress the shaking. “If you want to blame anyone for you being here blame the fact that you caught our attention with the trail of dead bodies you left behind. You are the perfect hitman.”

“I am NOT a hitman.”

“Aren’t you?” He whispers in my ear patronizingly.

“Do you want to know a fascinating side effect of vampire blood?” I turn my head coming face to face with him. “It makes you able to see the dead.” My eyes become wide and unblinking. “Do you know how many humans in this building ingest blood regularly?”

“Stop.” I plead disgustingly. “I don’t believe you.” I try and stand firmly, but I flinch when he moves an inch.

“And why would I lie to you when they truth is going to hurt you so deliciously.”

“Do you have the target in sight?” I watch the woman playing with her child and laughing without care in the world. “I repeat do you have the target in sight?”

“I do, but she’s with her kid. Let me wait until she’s alone.”

“Negative. This is your only window. Take the shot.” I grip Jolene tightly.

“But-” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. The target was with her daughter was I supposed to just kill her with her kid in her arms?

“Take the shot!” My handler ordered.

“Yes Sir.”

The man standing on the podium was giving a rather captivating speech. He was entrancing the people with his propaganda and a few of the listeners began to cry getting down on their knees to worship him.

“We will cleanse this world!”

“I have a clear shot.” I say.

“Take the shot.” I pull the trigger.

I sit above a roof top looking down at the chapel. I was up here for thirty minute in between the parameter sweeps that the bodyguards were very annoyingly thoroughly doing. I point Jolene at the doors and when the happy couple burst through the doors jumping in joy I spy my target behind them smiling at his beautiful daughter. He had been released from prison for a few hours to see his daughter get married and that was my window. He had intel he shouldn’t have and my orders were clear. “Clean up the mess.”

“I have the shot.” I say waiting for confirmation and I take the shot, spattering blood all over the church walls and the brides no longer white dress.

So much blood. I bow my head feeling the sweat drip down my forehead and back. “The line of corpses you left behind you is what made me interested in you. I saw how emotionless you look when you shoot. Do you want me to tell you? Do you want to know what they’re saying? How many poor unsuspecting victims did you kill with those eyes?” He glances around me. I unfasten my hands and I look around the empty room. I start to whimper and I turn around looking for whatever he was seeing. I shake so hard I have to hold myself to keep myself together.

“That many?” He marvels. “Good thing that I can’t see them then. The wards around the building keep the soldiers from seeing them. I had to put that in place because they kept shooting themselves or throwing themselves off the roof.”

“I wonder when killing became so easy for you. All that bravado you have, all those jokes and insubordination just to hide the hurt. A bit pathetic don’t you think? If you didn’t have the stomach for this you really should have stayed home.” I snap my neck to him and I grit my teeth. I raise my hand and he makes a stop motion with his hand. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, because now I know how to hurt you.” I lower my hand and bring it to my chest. I take a step back and almost buckle.

“And you call me a monster.” He smiles. “You may go.” I turn on my heels seeing how close the door was, how close my escape from this room was and I felt like I could almost breathe again. “Ainsley, my salute.” I freeze before my hand could turn the doorknob. I close my eyes so hard they hurt and I suppress a sob. I take a deep breath and turn when my body decides to move again and weakly raise my hand to my forehead. “Good girl.”

I turn on my heels and begin storming down the hall his words repeating in my mind like an echo.

No I wasn’t a monster. Yes I am. I let him affect me and gave him all the ammunition he needs now. I had deluded myself into thinking we were equals and now… I know better. I wanted to be sick, I wanted to run and hide, but I had nowhere to go. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

I wonder when killing became so easy for you. No, it wasn’t! Eat shit Gerry.

Was it true that if I drank blood I could see ghosts? Please let that be a lie. Please. There is too much blood on my hands, so many people that I…

What do I do now? Where do I go? I’m all alone.

I reach for my phone and dial the only person I could think could calm me down right now. It didn’t think about the time difference in England and it must be early there, but Winch picked up the phone almost immediately.

“It’s about time you called.” He says in a gravelly voice. “You never even bothered to send me a bloody message telling me you got there safe.” My voice instantly catches in my throat. “And if that wasn’t bad enough, I had your Dad on the phone cursing up a storm at me for letting to take this job.”

I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t even told Mum and Dad about this, I daren’t, but right now with how badly I was trembling and sweating they didn’t feel important. “I didn’t think I would get off that plane if I heard your voice.” I admit. I can hear rustling from his end and a squeak from his bed which confirms he was sleeping when I called.

“Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t think about the time. I’ll call later.” I didn’t even recognize my own voice, it was breaking and weak. I lean against a wall for support still hearing Gerry’s voice in my head whispering dark words to me.

“Ainsley what’s wrong?” He asks and my lips start to shake and I cover my mouth to stop the whimpers from escaping. I bite my lip and take a deep breath to calm myself down. “That bad huh?” He remarks.

“Yeah.”

“You’re not one to cry.” He points out.

“I didn’t think I was either until I fucking got here.”

“Watch your language.” He snaps and I smile meekly. “What happened?”

“I am not allowed to talk about it.”

“Of course you’re not.” He groans. He thinks for a few seconds. “Are you safe?” There it was. This is how a leader should be, worried about his team, empathetic and nothing like that piece of garbage in that office.

“I don’t know.” I lie. I did know. My gut was screaming it from the beginning, but I was given no choice. Now it felt like my entire freedom and will power had been ripped from my bones.

“Did someone hurt you?”

“No.” Not yet anyway.

“Can you leave?” He asks and I snort.

“No.”

“Then what are your options?” He asks.

“All bad.”

“Wrong. It just seems like all your options are bad.”

“Oh yeah, cause from where I am standing it doesn’t seem like that.” I snap at him.

“You listen to me.” He says with authority. “If it’s that bad you aren’t alone in this. You are a part of a team and what affects one is most likely affecting the rest of you as well. You need to be tactical about this, even if it means smiling and playing along until you find some sort of solution.” Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I began to take deep breaths and slowly the panic, fear and intimidation were being drowned out by Winch’s pure sensible logic. Gerry had succeeded in frightening me into submission and sadly I had knelt down and let him do it. I straighten myself up and look over my shoulder at his office door. He’s just a person how had I let him make me forget that? I grip the phone tighter in my hand feeling my blood start to warm my cold skin.

“No one can make you stay, contract or not. There will always be a way to fight back and usually when one speaks up other people tend to follow.”

“It’s not like I am can go around asking people about this.”

“What part of tactical did you have problems understanding?” He says sharply. I finally manage to find my smile again.

“I can’t exactly go around asking weird questions about our Commander.” Winch went quiet for a second and I remembered that Edge had erased a large part of his memory. I didn’t even know what he remembered or what memory he replaced it with. I was surprised he even knew I was in another country.

“It’s Gerald’s fault?” I freeze and look around me for some reason like I was worried I was being watched or someone with sensitive hearing could be listening in. “I knew something was off about him I should have trusted my gut. I shouldn’t be surprised with a name like Gerald.”

“How do you remember his name?” I ask genuinely confused.

“I may be old girl, but I don’t have that bad of a memory.” He says annoyingly. How…What?

“Ask that pretty boy that came with him what he thinks. He definitely doesn’t like his boss either. I feel like he might be someone you can trust.” I pull my phone away from my ear and look at like it was something alien. “I assumed when he wasn’t in uniform you would be escorting him somewhere or act like a bodyguard, but he was definitely a soldier I could tell.”

“What the fuck?” I mouth quietly. Did Edge not… My heart begins to sing and my body wants to jump in joy. My feet want to start dancing and for the first time since I got here I felt like I had an ally. Winch was right again! How does he do that?

“I missed you Winch.” I say holding my tears.

“The Americans have had you for a week and they managed to reduce my best soldier into a crying mess.” He chastises.

“You’re only saying that because you love me.”

“True.” I sneer with fake anger fully knowing I was one his best soldiers. I had earned the right to brag about that.

“Winch, am I a monster?” My voice breaks. I lower my eyes to the ground letting a tear fall.

“I had always wondered when you would ask me that question. I’m guessing someone pushed a button they shouldn’t have.” He sighs. “Ainsley, do you think you’re a monster?” My breath catches in my throat.

“Yes.” I admit my arm moving around to hold me automatically.

“I could say that you saved a lot of people, killed a lot of bad ones too, but truth is not every person is bad all the way down to the bone. But you did what had to be done and sadly you carry all those sins with you.” I clutch my chest. “I don’t think you’re a monster you’re just a person, a soldier, who has made some very tough decisions. Do I think I could have done that? No, because I don’t think I would have been brave enough.”

“Killing someone isn’t brave.” I snap.

“I never said that was the part that needed bravery. It’s living with it afterwards that takes bravery.” I shake holding in the tears and feeling my nose and eyes burn. “You’re a strong girl, but even strong people can be knocked down, so when this fucker knocks you down again for the same reason he hired you might I add, you hold yourself tall and remember that he’s just a person too and not one to be afraid off.” I hadn’t said anything to Winch about Gerry being the one to call me a monster, but he knew, I don’t know how he just always knew what to say and how to say it.

“Have you calmed down?” He asks worriedly.

“Yes Sir!” My hand moves automatically to salute, but I stop it.

“That’s my girl. Kick that asshole where it hurts for me.”

“Trust me Winch. When he’s on the ground I’m not going to stop kicking.”