《A Cleric's Life for me.》Interlude 2: Does Mend Wounds work on Ghosts?
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Apparently the emails were screaming at Rich to talk to his guide. Initially Rich thought Wolf was his guide seeing as he was deposited on Wolf and Sally's doorstep and the guy had given me some good advice. Well that actually seemed foolish in retrospect Wolf smashed him over the head with a mug and then yelled at him. The advice he gave was begrudgingly at best. Rich couldn't be so lucky. No.
Rich's guide was a crazy, irate, senile, and hulking man. Rich was under the impression that his guide was the wizard that initially cast whatever spell allowed him to pass through whatever dimensional boundary the email bypassed. He was incorrect. The guide was an ethereal projection of what he once was but Rich knew he was quite a large man because in his dream state he was looking up at the pissed off ghost of his guide. Plus the Guide also had a exact image copy standing next to him who was also screaming at Rich.
"What kind of slack jawed idiot doesn't take payment for a healing!" one would say and then the next would start up with "The same kind of moron that agrees to an obvious trap set forth by a god!" then the next would say "If only THAT Was his only problem". Then gut guide split again into another identical copy and that copy started in on Rich "He's too stupid to even train on his own! it took him multiple days to even get a scrap of XP!" and finally the first finished off with "What kind of bullshit system is this that we get this numb nuts to guide!" but not to be out done the newest clone screamed "What kind of Cleric goes to the bathroom and then washes his hands with soap and water! CAST MEND!", and eventually one of them ended with "I know we're going to be stuck here forever".
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The curmudgeonly knights went back and forth yelling at Rich and then they started arguing with each other over who's fault it was that they were stuck with Rich. Rich wasn't going to stop the fight going to blows as he decided that it was worth watching and maybe they would kill each other and he could get some sleep. Pretty quickly one had another in a head lock and two of them were beating up on the poor bastard to draw the short straw. Rich didn't see which clone got the ethereal essence but he was pretty sure it didn't matter. Then not to be out done the last two turned, grabbed each other by the ear, and went to town on each other like Hockey enforcers. Not like the Hockey enforces of 2020 where they throw punches but the gloves are more padded and no one is really getting hurt, no the Hockey Enforcers. Capital E-N-F-O-R-C-E-R-S. The ones who didn't play hockey but played Boxing with razorblades strapped to their feet. They went at it into a really impressive slug fest. This lasted way too long but one eventually drew back and hit the other so hard in the side of the head that the guide copy that got hit collapsed immediately. The one left standing then spit a honest to god ghost loogie, With teeth, on the fallen guide and absorbed the last copy into himself.
the ethereal guide that won the scuffle then stood up straight with a regal stance that just shouldn't happen when your nose is crooked on your face and you just spit out at least one tooth. It was really impressive the bearing change.
"I am sorry you saw that Rich, I am Robert. I use to be an Echo Knight in service of the king and I was quite old when I passed. My brain sometimes splits. It's a common ailment".
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Rich was taken aback but was very tired from all that went on that day and said "Bob you don't get to act like a dickhead and then blame it on some psychological condition. Just don't be a dick".
Robert was starting to get fired up again and start another fist fight but one he would win hands down and Rich kept going "I don't even know who you are or what you are other than you're in my damn dream. I just wanted some damn sleep after my first conscious day here and then I end up here with some pissed off knight pulling a Three Stooges routine screaming at me" and Robert deflated. Wearily Robert replied "I am your guide. My job is to get you to lvl 20 and hope to help you along. We won't get too deep into why I am helping as I can not but just know it's in my best interest to help you".
"Then do that" Rich shot back quickly to which Robert guided Rich through the options buried in his HUD that would let Robert talk to Rich without going into a dream world. Robert also turned OFF the dream world setting and turned on some more practical options like a mini map, adding a mana bar, and spell count breakdown. This made the HUD actually useful when Rich willed it to be visible since before all he had was HP. The mini map seemed like a gift from the gods as Rich could in theory level his perception up enough to see enemies on the mini map as well as just seeing an overview of whatever fight he was in. As it stands though his stats were not conducive to that. Rich asked to have a tab available to see his character sheet and also the character sheet of Charles. The character sheets were now MUCH more detailed and didn't just say "Rich, cleric". Rich did find out that his changeling ability could be used in combat and he honestly hadn't even thought of that yet. Combat seemed so esoteric after the day he just had. Just passed that ability off as normal and only somewhat useful.
Rich finally asked the obvious question: "What do you know about my god Robert" when he was finally about to end this mentoring session that ended up being fairly helpful. Robert cringed and said "well have you tried telling people about your god of change yet?" rhetorically and continued "There's no god of change per say... But there is a god of Tricksters, cut throats, thieves, and scam artists"
Rich replied "So I am worshiping the god of Lawyers, Politicians, and Call center scam artists... Great". He was so exhausted he fell asleep almost immediately. His time in the dream world abruptly ending.
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