Lady Mac B

The wicked strong shizznit that got them absolutely wasted, made me wild. The booze that knocked them on their asses lit a fire under mine.Owl hoots, Hoo was that? What a spooky night-night, sounds like those execution bells. Machubby must be yeeting the king by now. His doors are wide TF open, those guards are so “f”ing trashed right now, maybe I should’ve gotten consent before drugging them higher than one of those sails-on-a-stick.

Mac B

(from offstage) Yo, who’s there? What’s the happs!

Lady Mac B

Ding dang snick snack frick frack, did those sleepy boi’s wake up and yeet an axe through our plans? We gon to the slamma if dis shizznit don’t work out (She hears a noise) what was that? I put those servants stabby sticks where Machunny would find them, he’s not blind. If Duncan didn't look like my daddy, I would have yeeted him.

Macb enters carrying bloody daggers.

My hubby!

Mac B

I yoinked his life from him, did you detect any wiggles?

Lady Mac B

I heard a hoot and a cricket, did you say something.

Mac B

When?

Lady Mac B

Half a second ago.

Mac B

When I left?

Lady Mac B

Yup.

Macb

Yo, who’s sawing logs in that room.

Lady Mac B

Donny B.

Mac B

(Looking at his bloody hands) Bro I am straight-up not having a good time right now.

Lady Mac B

Dumbum.

Mac B

The serving boys where not quiet night night timers, one laughed and another cried “Murder!” and woke each other up. But they just went right back to sleep.

Lady Mac B

Malcom and Donny B are sleeping together, no homo though they’ve got six feet between them.

Mac B

One servant cried “God Bless us!” and the other replied “Amen,” without waking up, I deadass thought they saw my life juicy hands. I couldn't say “Amen” to their “God bless us!”

Lady Mac B

Stop panicking, you baby.

Mac B

(To himself, mostly) Why was there a frog in my throat?

Lady Mac B

(Slaps him) Suck it up, anxiety will drive you crazy.

Mac B

I thought I heard some snitch say, “Hey everybody! MacBaddy is murdering sleep.” peaceful sleep, free trial of death.

Lady Mac B

What are you even saying?!

Mac B

This Snitch kept crying “Wake up” to everyone in the house, Macbadguy has murdered the sandman, ain’t nobody gonna sleep again least of all him.

Lady Mac B

Who, we’ll show him what happens to snitches. Go wash your hands Macscaredycat, without the evidence we’ll get away scot-free. Go put those daggers back too! Why did you take them MacDummy.

Mac B

I can’t do that, I don’t want to see my decisions, I’m avoiding them harder than a millennial trying to get their life together avoids self care.

Lady Mac B

Alright MacBaby, I’ll do it. If there are any meddling kids with a dog, I’m blaming you. The dead can’t hurt you. (Exits)

Mac B

Where is that knocking coming from, why am I so jumpy? (Looks at his hands) Whose gripper things are these? Is there enough water in all the world to wipe the life juice from my hands. Nope, my sins are unforgivable, the blood from my hands will drown the seas.

Lady Mac B enters.

Lady Mac B

Oh shut it, my hands are just as red, but at least I’ve got some balls.

Somebody’s coming, let’s go back to the snoozle chamber, you can gather your wits there.

Dude, put some “f”ing clothes on, snap out of it man.

Mac B

I’d rather be asleep than face the consequences of my actions.

They’re knocking loud enough to wake the dead, Lets out a short, humorless laugh, I wish they could.