《Innocent Vampire Gals》Chapter 9
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Chapter 9 "They can't be serious!" Dylan said, "The safest place for a vampire to hide is the town where the Vampire Slayer lives?"
Kelly sighed and stared blankly at the computer screen. She, Brandon and Dylan were all uncomfortably quiet for a few moments. They heard the morning traffic passing on the street outside.
Brandon finally spoke, "That could mean that for any vampire, no place is any safer than Sunnydale."
She sighed again, this time with a whimper in her voice.
The cell phone on Dylan's belt rang. He grabbed it, and put the device to his ear.
"Hi." He said, "Valerie?"
"No." A man spoke. "I'm not Valerie Malone. I'm calling a Mr. Dylan McKay."
"That's me. I'm Dylan McKay. Who are you?"
"My name is Lindsey McDonald, Mr. McKay. I am an attorney. I work for the firm of
Wolfram and Hart"
"Wolfram and Hart?"
Brandon and Kelly both looked startled, while Dylan continued listening to the man on the phone.
"Yes." The man said, "I have been retained to represent the legal interests of Miss Valerie Malone."
"Oh I see." Dylan spoke to Brandon and Kelly. "Valerie's got herself a lawyer."
"Good idea." Brandon said
Kelly nodded. "She's gonna need one."
"Listen Mr. McDonald." Dylan told him, "I have good news for your client. I have an eyewitness who can give testimony, that Valerie Malone was not the Vampire who killed Kelly Taylor. Miss Taylor has returned as a vampire herself, and has identified her real killer as another vampire named Harmony."
"That's good to hear, but do you know that for an actual fact, or is that just hearsay?"
"What I did hear, was Miss Taylor say that herself."
"Would you know how I can contact her, so we can arrange for a meeting, where she can give me a sworn deposition?"
"Could you please hold on a moment?"
Dylan spoke to Kelly. "Valerie's lawyer wants to meet with you, so you can make a sworn deposition, identifying the vampire who actually killed you."
Brandon spoke, "Do either of you realize just how strange that statement sounds?"
Kelly told him, "Nobody realizes that more than I do, Brandon.
"Dylan." She told him, "Tell Valerie's lawyer, that Harmony gave me the impression, that his bimbo client put her up to it."
Dylan resumed speaking on the phone. "If Kelly gives you her deposition, it would be definitely detrimental to your client. I've spoken to Valerie Malone myself, and she's exercising her Fifth Amendment right against self incrimination."
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"Yes, I know, but that's not the only reason I called. I'm also representing her business interests. I understand, Mr. McKay, is that you and she are both part owners of the nightclub, the After/Dark."
"Oh, I see. You not only want to take a deposition, you want a business meeting too?"
"Yes. As soon as possible, sometime today perhaps. My calendar is clear this afternoon, from 2:30 to 3 PM. Can you be in my office then?"
"Not this afternoon." Dylan told him, "You seem to be forgetting that Miss Kelly Taylor is now a vampire, and she can't go outside in the daylight. It could be detrimental to her existence."
"Right. So how about us meeting in my office this evening?"
"This evening? You want the two of us to come to Wolfram and Hart's headquarters tonight, when all their vampire employees, including Harmony, will be on the job? Forget it Mr. McDonald. It could not only be detrimental to Miss Taylor's existence, but mine also. If you want a meeting, it will have to be in a place and time when it will be safe for everybody."
"Very well Mr. McKay. Can you suggest a place and time?"
"I'm not sure. I'll have to get back to you on that Mr. McDonald."
Then Dylan clicked off his cell phone.
Dylan said, "A lawyer from Wolfram and Hart is not only Valerie's lawyer. He also works with Harmony. It's obvious to me, that he doesn't really want any deposition. He wants to know where you are, so Harmony and her friends can eliminate you as a witness, Kelly."
She said, "And this is the first place they'll come looking! As soon as it gets dark."
Brandon said, "Then we've got to get you out of L.A. before dark, but you can't go any place outside until after sunset, which is around 6:30."
She spoke bitterly. "Maybe you should lock me in the walk in refrigerator. It can't harm me now."
Now another male voice called out from the main floor. "Who's here? Who's in the office?"
Brandon said, "David?"
"He is the D.J." Dylan said, "He does have a key."
Kelly said, "He's my brother. We have to let him know about me."
"Right."
"I'm Dylan, David! We're all in here!"
David Silver stepped through the doorway, but he wasn't alone. A woman was with him. She was in her mid-twenties, wore a stylish, light green business outfit and had expensively coiffeured hair. Brandon recognized her. He'd seen her in the club before, but they'd never spoken.
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David said, "Hi Dylan, Brandon. Hi..."
He was startled to see who was seated behind the desk.
"Kelly?"
His sister said, "You're not alone?"
He said, "You're not dead!"
The woman declared, "Yes she is, Mr. Silver. To be more specific, she's undead."
Now Dylan asked, "And just who are you?"
"Guys. Everyone." David replied, "This is Cordelia Chase. She is an employee of the Angel Investigations Agency. Miss Chase, this is Dylan McKay, part owner of this establishment.
"He is Brandon Walsh, fiance of..." he pointed uneasily "my 'late' sister Miss Kelly Taylor."
Miss Chase reached in her handbag and took out a cross that she held up for everyone to see. Kelly turned her head away and raised her hands to shield her eyes, as her fangs became extended.
"Put that away!" She shouted. "I'm not gonna hurt anyone! I've already eaten!"
Now the woman asked, "Anyone you know?"
Dylan called out, "No lady! She's only had pigs' blood!"
Miss Chase asked, "Are you sure of that?"
"Positive!"
Now Brandon spoke. "Will you put that away lady? Things are hard enough for all of us, as it is."
"Not 'til she retracts her fangs."
Kelly did as the woman asked.
"Okay." The woman put the cross back in her handbag. "But if she gets up out of that chair, I'm taking it out again."
"No problem." Now Kelly said, "'Angel Investigations'? I've been checking things out, on the Vampires' Handbook website. It says that Angel Investigations is a detective agency that hunts demonic beings."
David spoke. "I didn't hire them to hunt you Kelly. If I knew you were 'back', believe me, I wouldn't have brought her in here."
"I know that David. It's okay."
"I've hired them to hunt down that vampire bitch Harmony, who did this to you."
"Good." Kelly spoke to the woman, "While you're at it, how'd you like to add the vampire bimbo Valerie Malone to the list? She's the one who put her up to it."
Cordelia spoke to Dylan, "Isn't this Valerie Malone the one who you posted that $100,000 reward for?"
"The reward for Valerie's been canceled." He said, "Kelly was misinformed about her involvement. I'm reposting the reward for Harmony instead."
"Mr. McKay!" Cordelia told him, "I believe that Miss Taylor here could be much better served, if you spent your time, instead of your money, on restoring her soul, before she does kill somebody."
The others were all startled.
Brandon asked, "Restore her soul? After she's been killed, and is now a vampire? I didn't know that was possible?"
"Neither did I until recently." The woman told them, "What I know is that it involves the use of a certain specific artifact. That artifact is the consecrated, shrunken head of a Slayer-Vampire-Slayer with fangs."
"What!" Brandon exclaimed, while the others were now even more startled.
Dylan repeated,"'Shrunken head of a Vampire Slayer'?"
Kelly tapped the laptop computer on the desk in front of her. "I've been checking things here on the internet. I'm trying to find out as much as I can about being a vampire. According to what I've read, the Vampire Slayer is the one person, who vampires like myself and Valerie, and every other vampire there is, should avoid most."
Cordelia told them, "I don't mean that you should decapitate the present, living Vampire Slayer. I said a 'Slayer-Vampire Slayer'. That is an already dead Vampire Slayer. Specifically one who was killed by a vampire and then come back as a vampire herself, with fangs of her own. After that, she was killed a second time, decapitated and then her head was shrunk."
Everyone looked at each other with very puzzled expressions on their faces.
"Oh." Kelly spoke. "Now I see. None of us could be in any kind danger, from a Vampire Slayer who's already dead."
Brandon said, "And none of us want to be in any danger from Kelly the Vampire. What does a vampire's shrunken head have to do with her soul being restored?"
"Her soul can be restored," The woman told them, "if she hasn't killed anyone. Miss Taylor would have to stand, in the presence of someone with magical powers, who'd be speaking the proper incantation in Latin, while holding the consecrated shrunken head of a Slayer Vampire Slayer. That should restore her soul."
The others were all silent for a long bewildered moment.
Then Dylan asked Cordelia, "You can't be serious?"
David said, "That is just too weird."
"And totally gross." said Brandon.
Now Kelly shouted, "Wait a minute! I don't care how weird or gross it is, as long as it works!"
She asked Cordelia, "I suppose you know where one of those 'weird' and 'totally gross' artifacts can be found?"
"What I've been told," the woman told them all, "by a very reliable source, is that one such consecrated shrunken head can now be found, with her fangs extended, in a magic shop in Sunnydale; where a certain individual with magical powers can also be found."
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