Chapter 21

A little after 6 AM, we were all still out on the main floor of the dimly lit, windowless Climaxes Nightclub. I Valerie sat beside Kelly, inside the booth where she'd been trying to sleep, when the visitors from Wolfram and Hart arrived.

Our visitor, Mr. McDonald remained seated at the same table. The cuffed and gagged Cordelia remained beside him. His slayer stake still lay on the table in front of him, along with the cross. His hand rested on the stake.

None of us spoke.

Kelly muttered softly. "Dylan might not get up before noon. Who knows what time he'll get here?"

I nodded.

Then I spoke clearly. "It's after six o'clock. That means it's now getting light outside. That means we're gonna be stuck in here with each other all day."

Everyone groaned, especially Cordelia who moaned the loudest.

Now I heard sounds coming from inside the storeroom. Then I heard Dylan's voice.

"Valerie?" He called out, "Kelly?"

I called back. "We're out on the main floor Dylan!"

Kelly, me, and the executive from Wolfram and Hart all turned and faced the storeroom's doorway; as did Cordelia.

Dylan emerged from the doorway. Then he halted. He looked uneasily at our visiting Executive from Wolfram and Hart: whose hand gripped his slayer stake, and at Cordelia.

He said, "Cordelia Chase?"

The woman nodded.

"Valerie." He asked, "Who is this guy?"

I said "It's like I told you Dylan. You've been away from L.A. for much too long. You don't know any of our new regular patrons."

"Right." He repeated, "And like you said, I should have occasionally shown some interest in the Club. Would you like to introduce me?"

"That," I pointed, "is Mr. Lindsey McDonald. He's the one who ordered Jake the vampire, to make a vampire out of me"

Now the Wolfram and Hart executive spoke. "Good morning Mr. McKay. At last we meet."

"Right." Dylan sounded annoyed. "There's no way I'm gonna call it a pleasure."

My business partner stepped out from behind the bar, and halted.

"Our contract," I sighed "with the Angel Investigations Agency, has been canceled."

Cordelia moaned once more.

Dylan looked at me and Kelly. "Are you both okay?"

"That depends," Kelly told him, "what you mean by 'okay'."

"I was killed by a vampire." I told him. "Then I went to Hell; and then I came back as a vampire; and I'm trying very hard to keep my bloodlust under control. So far I've been successful; but that's only 'so far'. I don't know if you'd describe that as 'okay'."

Kelly said, "Same here; except like I told you, I went to Good Girls Hell; or I may have. I'm still not sure that I wasn't having an hallucination, before I became undead."

Dylan nervously looked at all of us in the room. "Am I the only one here who isn't a vampire?"

"Cordelia's not." I told him, "Neither is Mr. McDonald, but he's still dangerous."

McDonald declared. "I've been sent to make you and Ms. Malone here a fair offer."

Dylan looked at me and I nodded. He looked back at the Wolfram and Hart Rep.

He asked, "What do mean 'fair'?"

The man said, "Ms. Malone here has decided that she no longer wants drug dealing, bookmaking, or any type of unlawful activities going on here at the Climaxes."

"That's right." Dylan told him, "Neither do I."

"She's also attempted to try to keep vampires like herself, and other paranormal beings from entering this establishment of yours, by hiring Ms. Chase here."

"I agree with her on that too."

"That attempt has obviously failed, as will all other attempts.

"Listen very carefully Mr. McKay. While you want criminals to be kept away from the Climaxes, Wolfram and Hart doesn't. We know for a fact, that Ms. Malone here allowed bookmaking and drug dealing inside this club, with her getting a percentage of every transaction. While you want to put an end to it, we want it to continue. It's very profitable, but very risky. Wolfram and Hart would like to eliminate the risk."

Dylan repeated what he'd suggested back in Sunnydale. "Or we can shut the place down." He added, "Then have the building torn down. I can afford the loss!"

"Dylan!" I nervously reminded him, "Jorge, Yolanda, and our other employees can't afford it! Neither can I."

Now McDonald demanded, "Look at her!" He lifted his stake, pointing it at Cordelia. "If you even attempt what you just threatened, then what happens to her will also happen to your friends."

He picked up a slip of note pad paper from the table in front of him and read from it.

"Your friends," he read, "'Brandon Walsh, his sister Brenda; Mr. Steve Sanders, Donna Martin; along with Miss Taylor's step brother David'."

Kelly gasped, then shouted, "Not David!"

"Either that," he told Dylan, "or you, Ms. Malone and myself can negotiate a deal, which will be satisfactory to everyone involved."

"What do you mean by 'satisfactory'?" Dylan asked, "Drug dealers and bookies will be doing business in the Climaxes, while vampires and other 'paranormals' will be free to have their way with our customers?"

"If Wolfram and Hart is the owner, we will be the ones who provide the security and Spike the Vampire will be promoted to Head of Security, at this location. Other than that, Ms. Malone will be allowed to stay on as manager. If she agrees, she will again receive a percentage of every transaction, as you will yourself."

Dylan looked at me. "What do you say Valerie? Do you agree?"

I hesitated. "Stay on as manager?"

Kelly declared, "I can't believe we're just sitting here like a pair of wussies Valerie! Here we are, two vampires armed with fangs, and you're holding a stake. We can kill this McDonald guy here with not trouble at all."

"He's also armed with a stake." I told her. "If we try to kill him, he'll use it on Cordelia."

"That's wussy thinking." She told me, "We should both attack him at the same time, before he can use it on her. Sure, he might kill one of us, but the other would kill him for sure, and she'll still be alive. What do you think Cordelia?"

The handcuffed woman with the gag in her mouth nodded, and glared at me.

I snapped, "I'm not being a wussy!"

Then I spoke calmly. "When you think about it," I told them both, "it really is a very satisfactory deal." I looked at Dylan. "Deadly vampires, including me, will be in control. I'll be the Club's well paid manager, and all our friends will be safe."

Kelly asked, "Satisfactory? After everything that's happened? You want to go back to the corruption you were involved in, that got both you and me killed and turned into vampires? You told me that your coming back as a vampire, was giving you a second chance; and this is what you're doing with it?"

"I'm sorry Kelly." I told her, "I just have to go along with it. I don't know what else to do."

"What else?" She groaned in annoyance. "We could be having this guy for breakfast."

Mr. McDonald called out, "Miss Taylor!"

She growled back, "Yeah what?"

"I like your attitude."

"My attitude? You like it?"

"You're not 'a wussy'. You're a brave and fearless warrior."

"Warrior?" She smiled. "Right. That is what I am."

"We can always use people like you at Wolfram and Hart"

"You can?"

"Definitely. How'd you like to come and work for us? If you wish, you're welcome to come on over to Wolfram and Hart Headquarters tomorrow evening, and fill out a job application. I'll tell the Personnel Department that you have my recommendation."

"Are you kidding? Me work for Wolfram and Hart? Valerie here might be as totally corrupt as the rest of you, but I'm not!"

That's when I said, "Neither am I. Not any more; and you're right. While I'm totally in love with Egbert, there's no way I'd ever want to meet him again. It's time for me to stop being a wussy."

I extended my fangs, while putting my hand on the blood stained stake on the table in front of me, gripping it tight.

"And I agree with you Kelly." I went on, "It's time for breakfast."

She and I slid out from the booth, and got up from the table with our fangs extended. We rushed around the table between us and Mr. McDonald who froze, gripping his stake with one hand and his cross with the other, while looking back and forth between us and Cordelia. We two vampire gals pounced on the man before he could use the stake.

Then Kelly and I chomped our fangs into his neck, and had a very satisfying breakfast.

Once the meal was finished, she and I stood up beside the body of Lindsey McDonald, who had deep fang marks in his neck. The stake that he'd held was now sticking out of his chest, where Kelly had rammed it deep into his heart, to make sure he'd never become undead.

Then we removed the gag from Cordelia's mouth. She moaned and took a few deep breaths.

I told her, "I'll see if we can find something to break these handcuffs off of you."

I moved behind the bar, where we kept a tool box.

Cordelia said, "The keys are in his pocket."

I came back over to the table, and knelt beside the body of Lindsey McDonald who lay stretched out on the floor. I reached into his pocket.

Now Kelly spoke, "I can't believe it Valerie. You're actually going through a dead guy's pockets?"

"Why are you complaining? You enjoyed making him dead, just as much as I did."

Now Kelly smiled, looking delighted. "And that felt so good!" She laughed, "I was right. I loved 'taking a bite out of crime'!"

"So did I." I smiled back.

I pulled the keys out of McDonald's pocket, stood up, searched through them and found the handcuff's key. I unlocked the cuffs, releasing Cordelia.

She said, "Thank you." and stood up moving her shoulders while groaning in relief.

Then I stopped smiling. "Now what do we do with the bodies?"

The look of delight also left Kelly's face. "The bodies?"

I nodded. "Him, and whatever's left of Harmony in my office. I'm not sure how to dispose of them; and I don't know who to call for help. Do you have any ideas?"

"Me? Are you kidding? What would I know about disposing of corpses?"

"Right. It's one problem you've never had to deal with before, isn't it?"

Now Cordelia spoke. "Getting rid of the bodies isn't the only problem you'll have to deal with. When McKenzie and Harmony don't report in to Wolfram and Hart in the next few hours, they'll be sending other people here to find out what's happened. I don't think either of you want to be around when they show up; and neither do I."

The woman from Angel Investigations moved away from us quick. She rushed around the bar and through the open door of the storeroom. We heard the back door open and shut.

Now Kelly asked, "Are we on our own?"

She called out, "Dylan!"

We both looked around. Dylan McKay was no longer with us.

She called out toward the storeroom doorway. "You and Valerie are still owners of the Climaxes Nightclub! When Spike the Vampire and all the others show up, we'll be waiting for them with stakes!"

We didn't hear a sound.

I said, "I think that Cordelia isn't the only one who you and I just scared away Kelly."

She groaned. "Why does every guy we know have to be such a wus?"

"Worry about that later." I told her, "When the people from Wolfram & Hart do show up, who knows what kind of weaponry they'll have. Our fangs and stakes might not be enough to keep them from blowing us both to pieces."

"Right." She told me, "Then the only alternative the two of us have, is to get as far away from here as possible; as fast as we can."

"We can't get away. It's daylight now. If we step outside, we'll both burn up into ashes and soot. And you found out the hard way that hiding under a blanket doesn't work."

Kelly groaned. Then she asked, "Does your guy Egbert really give orgasmic pitchfork?"

"Well, I am totally in love with him; or in lust; totally. Why do you ask?"

"It's good to know." She sighed, "'Cause, it looks like you and I really are gonna end up going out on that double date with demons, which will go on forever; beginning today."

"Maybe not." I said, "Now that our souls have been restored, we might not burn up, if we step outside in the daylight. That means we might actually have a chance to get as far away from here as possible, before those people from Wolfram & Hart show up."

"Yes." she said, "That is a distinct possibility, if our souls have been restored. One of us should check it out, by stepping outside, Val."

"I agree; and since you're the one who's joined the anti-wussyism campaign, the one who does the stepping outside, should be you, Kell."

"Right." She nodded. "It's the only chance we've got. If it doesn't work, I'll be frolicking in Good Girls Hell again. Very well." She took a deep breath. "Here goes."

Ms. Kelly Taylor stepped away from me, and went over to the booth where she and I had been sitting, and where the blanket she'd been trying to sleep under lay bundled. She picked up the blanket, and draped it completely over herself. Then she came back, went around me and the bar, and stepped into the storeroom. I heard the outside door open.

"Hey there Egbert!" Kelly Taylor shouted, "Fire up that pitchfork of yours! The one that Valerie's been telling me about!

"I'm one hot and horny pussy,

Who's not any kind of wussy,

And I'm ready to get forked by you!"

I then went around the bar, into the storeroom, heading over to the open doorway, where Kelly stood draped in the blanket, silhouetted by the daylight.

As I stood watching, she began moaning and trembling, while smoke rose from the blanket. She quickly removed the blanket and tossed it aside; but her clothes were now on fire. She was screaming. Her skin was burning. Then her inner parts ignited. That was the moment when Kelly Taylor the Vampire died, a second and final time, squirming and squealing, like someone impaled on a demon's fiery pitchfork.

Now the storeroom was on fire, while the alarm blared. I was sure an alarm was also going off at the nearest fire house.

I turned and ran out of the storeroom, back onto the main-floor. I rushed over to the table where Mr. McDonald had been seated. His body now lay beside it on the floor. I picked up the cross he'd held, which he'd dropped on the table, and rushed up to the front door. There I halted.

I thought, Kelly had called upon a demon, and received what she'd asked for.

Now I held up the cross and prayed, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner."

I put my hand on the push bar, shoved the door open, and hurried outside into the daylight, still gripping the cross. I did not burn up. I hurried across the parking lot, got into my car, started the ignition and drove away fast from the After/Dark, passing fire trucks going in the opposite direction, toward the Club.

I was on my way toward the address of a local chapter of Blood Drinker's Anonymous, which was headquartered in a local Church of Born Again Vampires. That's where Cordelia said that Brandon had gone. If that's where he is, what do I tell him about Kelly? What do I say to Dylan?

"Kelly's returned to frolicking in Good Girls' Hell, with the rest of the skanky sluts"?

Either that, I thought, or Kelly Taylor, the gal who always got the guy, might now be taking my place; frolicking naked upon the fiery pitchfork of Egbert, with who I'm totally in love/lust for all eternity. That's okay with me. I'm not jealous at all. I hope she enjoys the ride.

So repent you sinners.

END OF STORY