???: this is your fault! I didn't wanted a boy! I wanted a girl!!! This all your fault!!

???: my fault?! This is your fault! You're the mother !! Because of you gene ours girl is a boy!

Mother: and what about you?! You stupid sperm could have come as a girl! and I'm not taking care of him!

Father: you're his mother you're not going to push that son of your to me! You're going to raise him I will give him my last name but I will not raise him! And I giving you divorce!

Mother: I'm not going to raise him! I wanted a girl! You failed to me to give me a girl! You Can't give me divorce because of your fault!

My parents keep fighting on and on about who was going to raise me. At one moment my father left and my mother came for me. I was hidden in my room closet.

Mother: come here you! This is all you're fault for being a boy! I'm not going to raise you! I wanted a girl! You're going to be raise with your grandparents!!

I was sobbing, crying in her Hold. My mind was breaking not understanding why my daddy and mommy didn't love me.

{All of this happen when I was only a 3 year old child.}

My mother left me with my grandparents, my grandma fighted with her daughter because it was her responsibility to Care for me. In the end she just left with her older son. My brother carl

{ Take me with you! why you only take him! Take me too!}

my grandma was happy about me going to live with them but my grandpa looked annoyed.

It have being 3 year of therapy. Now a 6 year old child, I could smile, laugh, get sad and angry. But my grandma had overprotective me.

Doing my homework, not letting my play the kids in the neighborhood, not giving me chores or any other responsibility Making me stay in a bubble. Making me shy, scared of other people.

{Why Grandma! you're not helping me! You're making it worst for me to have a life! To live my own life!}

At elementary school I was alone and bullied and My brother bully other. because of that we changed school a lot. That make it harder for me to make friends.

Even though we didn't live together we went to the same school. Sometimes he would stay with us.

In middle school I had realize that I had no friends. the people I though that where my friend were only my brother friends.

He had failed 2 grades and because of that he was in the same grade that me.

{Jaja.. because of my brother and grandma had overproteted me, when reality hitted my safe bubble everything was chaos in my head. Making me say something I had never ever thinked in my life} I'm useless.

i was alone in the next year since my brother was to old to be in highschool. I was a junior now and it was hard for me to make friends everyone had made there own social group.

To try to save my self from lonlyness I made imaginary friends. well more like imagonary voices that later on would take humand body and personality.

But i had to stop becuase people were starting to talk about me going crazy and that any moments I would start to kill people

{ LOSeR, UseLeSS }

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Since then I wanted to commit suicide I wanted to die. Everything was pointless there no use for me. I don't have ambition or dreams.

I tried to cut myself to hang myself, to jump from a balcony and to get in front of a truck to hit me.

But it was useless. I was a coward. I could not finish my own life. I… I just wan…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chie: ( this is useless why i am sitting in class? no one is going to miss me.. I don't have friends i don't have no one. )

I get up from my classroom chair and when to the 3rd floor stairs are and from there I was go in to jump.

Chie: I'm.. Not going to back down.. I.. I can do this. It's only for yours on good. this well end the pain the agony…

I get ready, I place myself in the cemented fence leading to the ground floor. I jump..

??: Dont!! Are you crazy! There are better ways! Let's work your problem ! Let's talk about them but don't kill yourself!

Someone grab me by the back pocket of my pants. Yelling at me for some reason