The united Beastman tribes had carved a bloody swathe across the Bestiral Kingdom and, in so doing, had finally drawn the attention of the kingdom’s military. However, in a rather unfortunate twist for the kingdom’s military, the Beastmen were never able to be caught. This was, in some small part, due to Vaile’s coaching before the first offensive had even begun.

It was exactly as Vaile had said; a larger military force cannot move, react or maneuver as quickly and precisely as a smaller one, and while the Beastmen had power individually, they lacked the numbers and technology that their foes had. This meant that, in order to ‘win’ they needed to not play by the rules of their opponents. Small bands of combatants, executing lightning-fast strikes on enemy positions before vanishing back into the wilds.

With this strategy, combined with the rapidly expanding magical forest that they called home providing a safe haven, they could easily harass the Wereans and make life far more difficult for them. Given enough time, it would be a near certainty that even the kingdom’s army would fall into chaos and then, eventually, be forced to disband to avoid catastrophe. What Vaile and the two faction leaders of the Beastman Tribes had not expected, was that the gradual devolution of the Bestiral Kingdom’s army would be exacerbated by the arrival of a single, half-sane Lion Werean Prince.

…

A horse carried its rider along the rapidly degenerating cobblestone highway that was being overcome by the encroaching power of the Karnarous Forest. From beneath the stones sprouted saplings that were growing at an alarming rate, alongside other forms of flora that were reaching their mature state at a speed unheard of on Earth. However, the sight of the civilization that his ancestors had spent their lives building being consumed by the raw power of a magically-enhanced forest did not perturb the young Lion Werean in the slightest.

No, he was more interested in thinking about why his horse had not become a winged, 24 carat gold potato when he had obviously done the proper thing by covering it in a mixture of lard and breadcrumbs. Perhaps he had not used enough of the stuff to make the transformation happen? Regardless, he needed a flying, 24 carat gold potato as a mount if he was ever to save the land of Little-Blue-People-World from the evil forces of B-Team and their army of yellow, overall-clad tic-tac people, led by their Anarcho-Communist master, Jesus Yamato, who happened to be a sentient Double Bacon Cheddar Wrap Hamburger!

If you, dear reader, cannot follow the logic of The Mad Prince, Laiyunoh Cuthanterd Bestiral, then join the crowd, because no one, save The Mad Prince himself, could understand his own thoughts. Still, being as mad as a hatter had its perks, especially when the madman actually knew a thing or two about fighting. In combat Laiyunoh was near unstoppable, at least among his own people. After all, how do you fight someone as utterly unpredictable as him? Cuts would turn into feints which would turn into stabs and then into slashes and all other combinations seemingly at random, but what made him nigh unbeatable was not just that unpredictable fighting style.

Laiyunoh had one big flaw with regards to his mindset that bled over into his combat flow; he would switch between a near limitless number of personalities on the fly and with no single stimulus capable of bringing out a certain one. This had a mixed effect on him, as one particular personality may be an expert fencer, and another may be useless with a sword, but a master of foreign martial arts. As these personalities would pop in and out without any cause being known, Laiyunoh was even able to beat his ‘father’ on more than one occasion.

I say the word ‘father’ like that because, in all honesty, his mother, the queen was utterly unsure of who the actual father was, but had wisely kept that information a secret from the king. Although always a bit unpredictable, Laiyunoh’s mental state had gotten even worse due to a poisoned arrow piercing his knee and the healing applied to him being unable to fully repair his body in time to stop the contaminant from doing some damn nasty work to his already fragile mental state.

So now the manic man was riding down the road, completely lost in his insane thoughts, utterly oblivious to his surroundings, and about to barrel over a Rabbit Werean like a scene from a Medieval War movie.

“FLY LIKE AN EAGLE! TO THE SEA!” the Prince sang at the top of his lungs as the horse he was riding leapt into the air and barely missed the shivering soldier before landing and coming to a stop outside the entrance to the war camp.

“Open says me, it’s the MIB!” he said, and the gate opened as he wished.

Allowing his steed to trot through the camp, Prince Laiyunoh made his way to the largest tent in said encampment, hitched his horse to an outhouse rather than the hitching post, and walked in on the meeting between the various military leaders.

“The Order of the Thunderbird will lead the way!”

“No!” yelled another commander, “My Order of the Wolf Fangs will be the ones to lead the charge!”

This had been going on for hours before the prince had arrived, but he knew just what to say to put the arguing diamond-encrusted school busses in their place.

“Ordo Draigo present! We will provide the hams!”

At this, the combined total of fifteen order leaders looked over at the Prince who was actively trying not to have his true nature as an inside-out raisin muffin be noticed. As the commanders looked him over, they tried to hide their embarrassment that their prince was covered head to toe in clothing made up of used handkerchiefs, the occasional piece of underwear and one plaid sock.

“Why can’t you just be normal?” one of the commanders groaned aloud.

“Autistic Screams!” Laiyunoh said with his typical gusto.

At this, the commanders decided to ignore their new arrival, at least until a messenger arrived with news from their king.

“My Lords, we have received a missive from our noble and powerful king himself!”

“Well? What is it?”

“Yes, well…”

“Well?”

“The King has dispatched his Royal Highness, the Crown Prince himself to lead our forces to victory over the Savages. Any who refuse to follow the orders of the prince are to be executed as traitors and rebels who have chosen to live in service to the Savages.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Laiyunoh responded to this cry of sorrow by singing some kind of song about lethal female monarchs. Needless to say, the Beastman Tribes may have found an unwitting ally, or, perhaps, Laiyunoh’s madness would lead to a possibly different outcome altogether.