Mira

"Are you sure Saya is old enough to go to an Arena fight Sachi? Maybe the first time she is seeing a person killed in person shouldn't be as a spectacle or anything like this, it may distort her view of death and the value of life." I say folding my arms over my chest with a huff as I look at the pair holding each other's hands.

"It will be alright, Uncle Brian is bringing Cyrus and Amanda who are both only a few years older than Vigdis and there aren't likely to be any deaths today. The entire morning is dedicated to challenges of some of the foreigners in the city, none of the matches are specifically to the death and you know death is never really a spectacle to us and Saya needs to learn that as well."

He says smoothly standing stock still like he won't take her if I refuse to let them go though I suspect he will anyways. I know I've been training the girls but I still feel she is too young to be exposed to the blood and violence of the Arena, but I've also been amongst the Tribesmen long enough to understand that their ways actually work in helping the mental development of children.

I look at Saya who is uncharacteristically quiet whilst holding her fathers hand but she is practically bouncing off the balls of her feet with excitement. I look at the now visibly pregnant and radiant Kuyoki and she just smiles at me that smile that says she loves me, I scowl at that. I know she has no romantic love for me but all the love I knew was expressed through sex until I had my first child. Most, most not all since I now have a father in Zhen and a sort of friend in Crysta.

I actually love Kuyoki too, more than I ever thought I could love another woman without being sexually attracted to her. A woman who without asking anything helped raise my children when I was as vulnerable as I've ever been with weakness and knew absolutely nothing about raising them.

"Fine, whatever." I say and storm out of the living room and out the door to sit with Dishna, Ingwe and Aurora. The two are talking amongst each other and playing with Aurora on the front yard grass under a clover tree.

"How is she feeling now?" I ask Ingwe in regards to another tantrum displayed this morning that seemed to have been abnormal for a child of only a few months.

"Better, Dishna and I will take her to the healers to be sure nothing is wrong with her. Sachi said we should wait for his mother who will be bringing Sigrur. Freyà will be bringing Sway along to be seen to by the healer as well." The girl says in surprisingly fluent but thick accented Sandersonian.

I nod to acknowledge her and frown at the three pairs of eyes that are set on me. Ingwe's best language teacher actually turned out to be Didi and the two are getting along like affinity fish in a small pond.

"Can I hold her?" I eventually ask as I hear Saya and Sachi leave from the other side of the house.

"Of course, you are her mother too yes? You will be official mate soon." Ingwe says with a genuine smile and I just scowl at her but I take the toddler with the chubby arms happily.

It's been 2 months since Sachi has been back from his walk about with the kids, 3 since he's been home and already a lot has changed in our routinely ran household; a lot. The kids are growing parts of their personalities I didn't even know weren't developing well until I saw how having a father around shapes a little girl's world view. I probably would have even missed it if Divina hadn't pointed it out a few ten-days ago, the woman is so annoying.

But as a potential mothers in law and as a grandmother she is very consciouncous in what she says and does with the children. The woman is methodical and has a knack for knowing just what a child is ready for in their development. Kuyoki and I had learnt to deferr to her on certain things even before she Awakened to whatever it is she Awakaned to.

I sigh as I hold the little Auri in my arms and kiss her adorable little face. One thing Sachihiro seems to be good at is making beautiful babies and we have been in talks about officially mating for a month now, but the negotiations seem to have stalled.

The big hold out now being whether or not I am willing to have anymore children. I can't even believe Divina had the audacity to ask that in the presence of Zhen, but I will admit its a good question and I really don't know whether or not I want another baby. Looking at Aurora though I already feel a deep love for her like she is my own and I think I'm starting to understand how Kuyoki could love my children to the extent that they feel she is their mother as much as I am. If not more of a mother than I am considered by Says, stubborn that one.

I sigh again remembering how hurt I used to get when Saya used to cry to Kuyoki instead of me sometimes or when Didi wants to sleep with Kuyoki over me still. But now I understand, Auri is just a bundle of joy and beauty.

"You will break so many hearts some day," I tell her pressing her cute nose against mine eliciting a smile from her, such a happy baby.

"Alright, I'm off," I say handing her back as I feel Rigdris' approach as the young man comes to walk me.

One would never think that taking walks was just something Barbarians did as a pass time and with such frequency, but living amongst them I have noticed many little peculiarities about them. I walk towards him on the street and am greeted by the few people I know around this place with smiles.

I'm at peace I think to myself as I smile and greet back. I have become a mother, a neighbour to people, a warrior in my own right and I am yet again an Awakened. I have achieved things I never even thought were in the realm of possibility for me, foremost amongst them being happiness. I have scares in my psyche still as Carmella likes to point out as a potential weakness but by the gods am I happy, and this happiness scares me.

"Hey you." I say with a smile to my Barbarian lover and friend.

He bends down and pulls me into his arms for a deep deep kiss before setting me back down. I nearly swoon as we separate from that one and I could feel the erect bulge in his pants.

"It's that kind of walk is it?" I ask with a little smirk.

"Yes. I have not bedded you in two days and I am ravines with need, let us go to the long-house and find a quiet corner to couple for all to see." He says in his deep voice with those smokey eyes trained onto me.

I get wet just from the suggestion and the knowledge that it's extremely serious. I have a fetish of being watched when having sex, being exposed that I only fully acknowledged here in the Tundra amongst the exhibitionist culture of the tribes. I have been watched by others whilst having sex before, what pretty slave girl hasn't? But I attributed my enthusiasm those times to the need to please my masters more than a desire within me to be watched.

But the very first time Rigdris took me in one of the long-houses with people about that could watch if they so chose drive me insane with embarrassment and lust. He quickly figured out how effective having eyes on me is to me reaching quick and deep climaxes and has been capitalising ever since.

Rigdris has been my main lover for over a year now, with me only occasionally seeing my other lover Drago. I still sometimes feel there is something deeply wrong with me for having a sex drive that is so far beyond any man I have ever met besides Kei Watanabe. But mostly I have learnt to thrive in my sexuality, how could I not with role models like Crysta who visited last year, Tadita the mother of Om, and the other fae women. None of whom have a single lover but collect them in groups of threes and fours from the diverse people of the city.

"Let's just walk today, I have some things to consider before I go to the Awakened Arena."

"Ahh... the time for you to decide on whether or not you will mate with Sachihiro has come." He says with a somber nod, and I can feel his slight jealousy behind his mild tone.

"Don't be that way, you knew coming in I had other lovers and you knew the father of my children would one day return."

"And I also knew you had no interest in taking a mate and the father of your children was already mated to your best friend."

"A best friend that for years has been asking me why we don't become sister wives, and now Sachi comes back with another wife that sees a husband with many wives as a sign of power and prominence instead of jealously wanting to keep him to herself," I say shaking my head at the odd culture Ingwe comes from.

"I love Sachi and to correct you it's actually he who is my best friend not Kuyoki. I never thought I'd mate because I am damaged in a lot of ways and I couldn't stand the expectations that come from being a person's only wife and only confident. Sometimes I just need my own space and time alone and no one understands that about me as easily as Sachi, who has other mates to give him attention when I'm feeling withdrawn." I say with a sigh.

Rigdris stays quiet a moment besides me as we walk, seemingly taking in the day and the city as a whole. He has that sparkle of life that most youth have, that curiosity and passion of the young and free and he is a deep thinker. An outsider would think because they are so big Barbarians have to be dumb but that's a dangerous underestimation of these volatile people.

"And you haven't even mentioned your sex drive as a driving factor in your decision making yet." He says with a little smirk and I giggle at his light tone and slowly spreading peace.

"What did he say at the talks when you brought up having lovers other than him whilst mated?"

I shrug, still a little uncomfortable with these Barbarian ways. In Sandoria it isn't unheard of to hear of a cheating spouse that is killed by their wife or husband in anger or shame. And here these people even negotiate about lovers before they even tie the knot of marriage.

"He has expressed that the lovers I already have I can keep but any others have to be approved by him or Kuyoki before I get into relations with 'em." I say in a low voice, to be honest I was surprised when Sachi said that 'cause I had expected to have no other lovers but him.

But I am so relieved he said that, so relieved. I feel Rigs' joy emanating slowly from him before he can't keep his happiness in any longer and what would be a smile he turns into a smirk.

"You know, I think I'm starting to like this Sachi fellow." He says as he takes my hand in his and we continue to walk hand in hand towards the market.

Training is gruesome as usual but not in the way that it used to be while I had mana depravation sickness, and not like it was when I was training with the Hito. Training under Carmella is more about skill and precision than power or stamina, which can be boring but knowing what I know about the fae I can only say is effective.

There is an emphasis on perfecting the minor details and using as little power as possible. Not once had I had to go all out except when doing the obstacle courses, the rest of the training is mostly being shown minor adjustments and given advice that I myself have to decide how to best use.

A very slow process of learning but it seems to work well for a people that don't have a natural expiration date. Learning the way fae view magic and the elements is a fascinating way to think of nature and though it is also slow to master it provides a great foundation for depth in power.

My reawakening has been very strange as well. The spirit within me has been mostly silent in commutation with words but through my zanpakutō it is very expressive and 'vocal' through our empathic link. The thing is happy to be a soul sword, very happy.

But it seems to be gaining power at an astronomical rate when compared to other people that recieved a soul weapon the same year I did as far as I can tell. And the Truths I've Awakened to are scary things that should not exist in a world with my children.

I have basically become a monster to mages and spirits with only a little of the original air affinity I first Awakened to. Carmella says I can develop my aerokinesis enough to pretend to have Awakened to air again as expected, but apparently being mana drained, having the shape of my soul change, and being possessed changed my affinities immensely.

I wonder if Sachi would still want me if he knew how dangerous I had become.