Nothing is easy, but who wants nothing. - Donald Trump

The sun was starting to set, bringing Hank fresh concerns that they wouldn’t make Perison's walls before the gates shut for the night. So it was with some relief they joined the last line of carts wending their way into the city.

Hank planned to drive to the gatehouse, explaining the situation to the man in charge, before handing over the cart and its contents to the guards. Done. Easy. Things are never easy. Why are things never easy?

The guards stationed by the gate weren't paying much attention to the traffic flowing in and out. Hank watched the preceding carts enter. Nobody was being asked to turn in their weapons. And a word in the right ear avoided the regulation cart inspection. Going out was even more slack. Perison was in the middle of the kingdom, so perhaps there wasn’t a reason for suspicion or fear, Hank thought. The guards were uniformly slack and ignored everyone. So when Hank steered the cart out of the road and up to the gatehouse they garnered a small amount of attention.

"Hello good sir. Please can you ask your captain to join us? There is a small matter of kidnap and assault to sort out.” Hank was being polite.

This was certainly not what the middle-aged guard on duty was expecting. It pulled him away from.... well nothing really but he hated being disturbed from doing it just the same.

“Kidnapin’ you say? We ‘ad no reports of no kidnapin’."

"Yes, kidnapping. Now please go and get your captain.” Hank wasn’t to be deterred.

“'ang on a minute. That's Terence's cart. I recognise Lord Fenian's mark on the side. Hey boys get out here. They is trying to thieve Terrance's cart."

At this three more guards came out of the guardhouse accompanied by an unusual amount of complaining.

"We haven't stolen anything. They stole a young girl, her.” Hank pointed at the girl. ”Yesterday."

"Well tis a pretty story. Some strumpet finds hersel’ a boyfriend, runs away, an’ you think you can pass ‘er off as a sixteen year old. Nice try mi young son."

"Who do you think you're calling a strumpet, you drunken excuse for a potbellied training mannequin. I bet you can't even use that sword, you sorry excuse for a guard.” She was incensed.

"Why you little...." The guard started grabbing for the girl. But we never found out what little she was. Standing up in the cart she kicked him square in the face. And then jumped on him as he fell back from the cart.

In surprise the three guards turned to their comrade and his feisty female combatant. Which meant that none of them were looking in Hank’s direction. With a fleeting thought that he was going to regret this new fiasco, he brought his walking stick down with as much force as possible on the head of the closest guard.

For a third time in a day Hank had rendered someone unconscious with his walking stick. In hindsight Hank later decided that he didn't need to hit quite so hard.

Hank jumped down from the cart and almost passed out. Lack of blood was becoming an issue and there were still three guards who were now spoiling for a fight. His dizziness forced him to drop his head between his knees, which inadvertently rescued him from a nasty sword cut levelled at his head by a guard.

The advantage of long sticks is reach. Which looked at completely differently means that they stick out in awkward places and get caught when you don’t pay attention. Attention, was one of those things that Hank's head was struggling to offer. However he managed to bring the end of the staff round, jabbing viciously into the guard’s crotch. With a scream, the man toppled forward, jamming the other end of the stick though the spokes of the cart wheel. There was a loud crack as the guard landed on the stick and Hank had a feeling his staff wasn’t going to survive this fight.

Staggering to his feet Hank almost passed out again. "Two down, two to go." His thoughts came out loud.

"No, there are no more to go." A strange voice entered the conversation. "You there take your hands off the girl. Elise you better have a very factual and brief story for your Dad and I or there is going be even more trouble than you’re already in."

"Yes, Uncle Roger." came a meek reply.

"Don't you 'yes uncle’ me. I have already been over your collective stupidity with Meg. We will get to yours in a minute." A tall and well-built man tuned to look at Hank. "You sit right there. What's your name?”

Behind the man speaking, Hank saw five men in personal livery, all of whom looked less drunk and better armed than the gatekeepers. Hank was sure that it said something bad about Perison but he was too woozy to work out what. More to do he point, in Hanks mind a much more relevant thought struggled to the surface. 2 vs. 6 is a loosing hand no matter how you stack the odds. So time to sit and capitulate, in that order. Hank was glad to sit. His health bar was flashing and he could feel blood oozing from his stitches. So all he managed to say was "Hank".

"Hank. Well I see you’re half a step away from vagabond.” Hank wondered for a moment what the man was talking about. But finally worked out that he must have some skill allowing him understand detailed information about people he was looking at. Hank’s reputation was bad. As the man said not quite ‘Vagabond’ but still not good. In any case he needed to pay attention. ”Stay right there or I'll complete the process."

What process? Hank thought.

Now he turned to the guards. "You lot, who's in charge."

"I am, sir"

"No you're not, you're drunk I can smell it from here. It wouldn't surprise me if your idiocy was not half the reason for this disturbance. I asked who was in charge of this gate post."

Ahh… Captain Kendrick is sir” the fat drunk guard responded

"And where is the captain?” The Lord asked.

“Ahh, well you see he left us in charge and …" The guard muttered a reply

"Did I ask for a story? No. Where is the captain?” The Lord’s tone turned sharp.

"Well you see he told us not too tell anyone so…." He answered.

"So we can add idiocy to drunk and disorderly. Do you know who I am?” The Lord turned his attention fully on the guard.

"Yes sir. You're the king's horse guy.” The guard finally worked out to whom he was talking.

"So mouthy as well as stupid. I am the Duke of Doncaster and head of the king’s cavalry. SO WHEN I ASK YOU WHERE YOUR CAPTAIN IS, YOU HAD BETTER TELL ME OR I WILL HAVE YOU BEATEN UNTIL YOU CAN’T WALK. ARE WE CLEAR?"

"Sir, yes, sir. He is down at the Red Lady ahh...." the guard seemed to have discovered a bit more sense. As he glanced at the girl before continuing ".... that’s to say he had an appointment with a lady who works there."

"You" pointing at one of the guards still standing "go and get your captain. He had better be here in 5 minutes. And if you mention anything at all about what is going on I will have you hung from the gate you hear?"

The man turned white as a sheet, spluttered a “yes sir”, before dashing off down the street.

"You," he was pointing at the man doubled over who Hank and struck second, "will remain on guard here with your unconscious buddy."

"Ned and Brian. Close the gate early. Tell everyone in line to go to the west gate, and then head back to the stables. Get horses for the six of us, Prince for me. Then one of you head to the west gate. Tell them they’re to stay open for an extra hour and stay to supervise. If their gate captain is not there, arrest him for desertion as well. Actually Alex go with them, then two of you can sort out the west gate. Whoever’s left bring the horses!”

The three of them headed off for the gate mechanism. Leaving the Duke mumbling to himself. "I told Gavin that the gates were a mess, but absentee captains, well that's desertion of a post. Finally an excuse to sort out Finkelman's sorry excuse for an office."

"All right, Hank, Elise and you, fatso, into the guard house.” He was pointing at the guard Elise had attacked. “Let’s start with why I found two people attacking four gate guards."

"Well, uncle it's like this..."

Elise started taking a big breath, when the Duke interrupted. "Not you, him,” he said pointing at the guard.

"Well it's like this. We was watching the gate and I spotted a cart coming through that I recognised. T’was Terrance’s cart. He's a regular and is one of Lord Fenian's men. So I says to Stan. He's the one what’s not ‘wake on account of ‘is ‘ead. So I says to Stan, 'They ‘ave Terrance's cart, let's pull them over and ask them what’s going on.' And the next I knows is that vixen there is kicking me in the face. And then ..."

"You stinking liar. Uncle he's lying. The truth is ...."

She never finished with the truth. She was interrupted by a curt "be quiet now. He hasn't finished" Elise's mouth dropped open in shock. To himself Hank thought it was probably the first time she hadn't gotten five minutes of talk into a ten second window in her life. However, the guard continued.

"So then this thief with the wench..."

"I am not a wench. I'm..."

"I SAID BE QUIET AND I MEANT IT. You are in a lot of trouble already young lady don't make it worse." Elise went red, and not from embarrassment but it occurred to Hank that Elise was one angry lady. "Continue."

"Then this thief pretended he was not going to fight. But he fights dirty and when Stan wasn't looking hit him on the head with a large stick. And then he hit Chris in the groin. And then you arrived."

"Fights dirty huh. Well Hank let's have your story. Stand up properly when addressing your betters. We don't like riffraff in this town."

Hank was beginning to understand that his reputation stat was making this situation much harder than it should be.

"Well my story starts a little further back. This morning on my way into town I came across a gentleman flogging the horse attached to the cart outside. He was with another who was restraining this girl here who was screaming for help."

Hank was feeling dizzy and his head was swirling. His red bar was blinking urgently. But Hank couldn't think about that. He had to get his story out.

Hank took another breath. "So I attacked the two men. They’re bound and unconscious in the cart. Freed the lady. Then, with her help, unloaded the cart, pulled it from the mud, reloaded it and traveled here. I wanted to turn it all in to the captain of the guards, but when we approached, this guard accused me of stealing the cart. It was about then that the lady and the guard had a disagreement and the fighting started. The fight went mostly as the guard said."

"He makes it sound so boring. You should have seen him Uncle. He came running down the road and he ..."

Elise stopped talking as there was a shout from outside the gatehouse. "You worthless piece of scum haven't I told you before. Never stop Terrance's cart. How on earth am I going to get my bonus when you, you bumbling imbecile, stop Lord Fenian's carts. Where’s that drunk Bill. I left him in charge. He usually can handle these situations without making a complete mess of them. Now I'm going to have to explain to the Lord why I've interrupted his little operation. And we all know how delightful face to face meetings with him are, don't we."

The Duke rose from the chair he had been using and strode out into the courtyard. "So, not just dereliction of duty, but bribery and corruption as well. This is going to go fantastically well with your boss. Isn't it captain?" Without waiting for a response he continued. "All three of you into the gatehouse and bring anyone who might be tied up in the back of that cart. We'll find out who the liars are soon enough." With that he strode back into the gatehouse.

For his part Hank had hardly moved. His vision was blurring and he felt distinctly light headed. But the Duke strode back into the room and gave Hank such a look that any question Hank might have had, including one to sit, died on his lips.

The drunk fatty now known as Bill shuffled out of the way into the corner. The two retainers still accompanying the Duke moved out of the way to another corner. There seemed to be some muttered conversation out in the courtyard, which the Duke addressed. "Stop prevaricating and get in here, sharpish."

In came the recovering Stan followed by an obviously angry but bound and gagged Terrance. Then the last two guards carrying in the unconscious form of Elise's second assailant. Followed by the captain.

Hank was thinking, if two guards could recover but one of his original combatant couldn't then he was obviously doing something wrong. His trainer was right, weight of attack. Thinking and trying not to lose consciousness, he remembered that the unconscious assailant was the one who Elise had beat senseless again. Hank decided that no matter her not quite sixteen years of age, it would be wise not to get Elise angry. Heaven help her future husband.

Focus Hank he thought to himself. The Duke was about to interrogate Terrance. Focus on that.

"So you're Terrance. He," pointing at Hank, "claims you kidnapped the girl..."

Hank could see that Elise was winding up for an interjection. But he caught her eye and shook his head. An action he immediately regretted as his vision swirled and went blurry again. She, however, too the hint and remained silent.

"... and he" he was now pointing at the captain "says that you run the smuggling around here. So what is it you don't do?"

"What I don't do is answer to stable boys. It is none of your concern what Lord Fenian does to increase his property or workforce. But why stay silent. Kill them all boys."

Hank wasn't sure quite what surprised the Duke the most. Terrance's effrontery or the fact that an entire guard station was attacking a peer of the realm. In any case there was little time to say anything. Bill launched himself out of the corner with a sword aimed squarely at the back of the Duke. A move, so predictable Hank was sure it would fail. Except it wasn’t going to, nobody moved.

Hank had never been good at combat, but none of his instructors had ever complained about his reflexes. Hank always thought it came from the English sport he and his real father had shared a passion for, Cricket. The ball really rocketed of the bat and Dave, when he was in the real world, had loved playing silly point, silly mid-wicket or in the slips. Places where raw reflexes were everything. Reaction time had to be 4 to 6 milliseconds or the ball was past you. Compared to that, Bill might as well have been having afternoon tea.

Hank was moment from passing out but the whip crack muscles didn't need blood for long. So, in a move reminiscent of his favourite cricket stroke, the pull. Hank, smashed Bill in the face with his walking stick and all that remained of his strength. There were three notable results of this. Hank later understood that Bill didn't regain consciousness for 3 or 4 hours. His already cracked walking stick broke into three large pieces and enough kindling to start a small fire. And Hank passed out from the pain of tearing his stitches.

Hank awoke to find he was collapsed on the floor and Terrance using Bills sword to attack the Duke with the help of the corrupt captain. One of the Duke's men was down in a pool of blood as was one of the other guards. Stan was engaging the duke's other retainer. Elise was running from the last of the guards. Terrance's friend slept on obliviously.

Looking at the remains of his stick Hank decided the only good thing about it was a nicely sharpened point formed by the break, but that was about it. Elise dashed into a small room at the back of the guardhouse. Bad move as the pursuing guard shut her in. He then charged towards the exposed back of the Duke.

Hank had little hope of reaching the guardsman but the captain had backed into range. Gripping the stub of his walking stick Hank levered himself up just enough to stab the captain in the foot with the remains of his staff.

The duke's retainer called out "Behind you".

Quicker than a wink the Duke danced to the side deflected the guard's sword and with a riposte was back in control. The captain was not out of it though and with a contemptuous backhand he sent Hank sprawling across the floor.

The backhander really rung Hank's bell and once again he was on the verge of losing consciousness. But he was now near the door. Whilst he couldn't bet on Elise's fighting skill he could bet on her feisty nature. Good plan, he thought, tag out for a fresh force.

Hank staggered to his feet, his head whorled. Black spots swam before his eyes and he could feel blood running down his side. He glanced back and saw that the last retainer had Stan injured and bleeding on the floor. Things were looking better. He turned back and pulled the bolt on the door.

There was only one slight miss calculation. Feisty understated Elise’s nature; the door flew open, as Elise charged out, catching Hank in the head. It might not have been the hardest blow he had ever received but it was enough. This time the lights went out properly.