Chapter 58

The Bro-Code

“You five just picked the wrong easy mark.” I say as I begin to smile brightly.

The leader of the band of thugs down below pauses for a second, then looks at me like I am stupid. “There are only four of us.”

With that I raise my eyebrow at him and then look up over my left shoulder. I am not afraid of the four, even with my peripheral vision I can see all their movements. Instead, I focus on the threat that my mind is calling out to me. Almost instantly I see the figure come to life with a golden hue of energy.

The fifth thug must have realized that suddenly all eyes are on them, as they chose that moment to act.

“AHH!” They scream as they begin to descend.

The scream is so loud and filled with resonant energy, that I can feel it pushing against my skin. I take a half-step back.

Thud.

Rumble.

A dust cloud appears for a second as the would-be assailant hit the ground so hard that its clear they caused physical damage to the street. From the fall I realized they had a mighty war hammer in their hands, and their golden skin all but guaranteed I knew who this person was.

A dust cloud rose from the ground, covering their descent with a billowing dust cloud. I have to say of all the entrances, these are generally some of the coolest. Jumping in, slamming a war hammer down on the ground, kicking up dust. The dust then gives you time to exact your pose, either kneeling down, or standing fully erect.

I am expecting one of these two, as this person is a legend. At least if my instincts that are now screaming at me are any indication.

I wait, then wait.

A cool breeze.

In the night air, a crisp cool breeze gently begins to blow away the smoke. At first, I think the person is just short. Then as more smoke is blown away, I think they are just kneeling. Only once the last of the dust is removed do I realize the truth of the matter, the person who jumped from the top of a five-story building to make a grand entrance is passed out on the road.

“Boss!” The lead thug cried out, as they momentarily break character.

This was all I needed to know that this was a recruitment pitch. Though rather than Graves, or even the Endarians, this time I am being courted by the Dwenvarians.

Kind of an honor really. I don’t really know too much about Dwenvarians personally. I know they are extremely reliant on alcohols to help with some type of glandular disorder, but other than that I don’t really know too much else. They have always been a secretive group. So, to be recruited by them, and by this Dwenvarian is a big honor. Well assuming they didn’t die from their overly theatric entrance.

Heal.

Cough.

I cast heal and almost instantly the Dwenvarian in question begins to come to life.

“Huh,” the Dwenvarian says, as they dizzily begin to rise. Then a dawning recognition fills their eyes as they recognize the person who is helping them up. He turns his head and then almost relaxes when his eyes land on me.

“Quick. Let’s get them.” The Dwenvarian calls out in slurred Dwenvarian. Surprisingly most of the language is made so that it can be slurred without any real problem. Still, it seems that the Dwenvarian is unaware of just how long they were passed out, or that we seem to have given up on the pretext of this being a random encounter. Everyone is willing to let this scenario drop, except for the clearly drunk space dwarf.

Smiling evilly to myself, I decide to get into the role of needing to be saved. “Come brother, let us join hammers so that we might forge a new future together!” I shout.

Again, Dwenvarian is such an overly dramatic language, I love it.

Thwack!

“Boo…” was all the lead thug could say, before he is punched so hard that he is slammed into the nearby building.

Wobble.

“Oh shit, he’s too drunk.” The second thug says as he tries to get away. Seeing the second thug get frightened causes the resolve in the other two thugs to also crumble. They all begin to run and try to run away, but this only causes the Dwenvarian legend to smell blood.

As for me, I am trying to Heal the broken ribs and spine of the first thug.

Wham.

Wham.

Wham.

The drunken Dwenvarian sung three times, each time his massive hammer landed so hard that it created dents in the buildings, walls, and anything unfortunate enough to get in their path. Fortunately, the Dwenvarian was really drunk, so he missed with all three massive swings.

Panting.

The drunken Dwenvarian was now panting heavily. I cast a Cleanse on him, just to help this process along. He is clearly far too drunk for this to be healthy.

“I took out fifteen of them.” The very famous Dwenvarian says, as they stumble up next to me. Then he looks down at the thug I am healing. After taking a quick glance he nods his head. “You took down five, not too bad. Still nothing compared to the fifteen I just took on to save your life.”

“Yep, you saved my life all right.” I say, still trying to tend to the wounds of this first thug. He is in a bad way, but fortunately he is stabilizing enough that he should pull through.

“Come on, we should get out of here before the authorities come.” The Dwenvarian with golden skin calls out, apparently the Cleanse is doing its job as he now at least seems to be remembering the script of these events.

“Oh hero, won’t you at least tell me your name?” I ask, trying to play up the fact that I have no clue who this person is. Nor the fact that their sudden appearance on a human controlled street with human thugs that speak fluent Dwenvarian could be anything other than a con.

Hearing the phrase, the golden skinned Dwenvarian hears his cue and takes on a heroic, pose. Even through the drunken stupor he nailed the pose, chest up, beard flapping in the wind.

“I am Rendius, but you can call me Goldhammer.” He says in an overly practiced and dramatic way.

I nearly lose it right there. But I am bored, have no real plans, and figured getting to know more about Dwenvarian culture was something that should be pursued.

“I am…” I begin.

“I know well of your exploits Chalk.” Goldhammer, or rather Rendius said.

I stare at him, trying to understand where that name came from. Then I realize there might be a translation error. “You mean Powder?” I ask questioningly. I am trying to think of whether I had any other possible nick names that could have somehow gotten to Chalk of all things.

“Yes, now come on Chalkie, before the authorities come.” He says, still stumbling in a drunken fashion.

“Okay…” I say, chuckling slightly as we make our way through the battered alley. I shake my head at the fact that four new holes exist.

“Okay, no. I think things have wrapped up.” I hear the voice of a person talking. “No, I think he is fine. It appears the recruit is a healer of some kind. No medical team is needed, currently.”

Hearing that, I realize the team of recruits are speaking Russian, which is likely why Goldhammer makes no sign that we are literally breaking character.

“Oh shit.” The Russian speaking man says, as he tries to hide his face. “What no, it’s just the recruit saw me. No, he seems dumb. No, I don’t think he understands me.”

I hear all that and just continue following the legendary Dwenvarian. Remember how there were three people who became exceptional through temple runs. One Endarian, Rayquel, otherwise known as the Iron Butterfly. Well now I finally get to spend time with Rendius, otherwise known as the Goldhammer.

Again, this is a lot better than having to face this guy on the battlefield or worse, in his mechanoid suit. I’ve always been curious how the Dwenvarians make their suits.

“Quick in here.” Rendius says, as he somehow found a bar that was still open at this time of night.

I follow him and am about to expect there to be a problem with the fact that he is carrying a giant war hammer, but no one seems to say a word.

In fact, they let us in no problem.

There is a slight hush that follows over us as we enter, but it seems that people force a conversation out, even if it is inane chatter to fill the background.

“So, about that thing.”

“Yeah, it was tough.”

“How did you do it?”

“Oh, you know, I just began by first realizing the problem. Then…”

Random words being spoken, and it was clear that this was meant to be a Dwenvarian safe zone, as quite a few Dwenvarians were here.

So odd that so many Dwenvarians were right by the Academy this entire time. Though when you think of them working at a bar, this kind of made sense. Unfortunately, this only likely fueled the stereotype of Dwenvarians being drunkards, but they were still good people in my book.

A cute Dwenvarian server came over and asked, “what can I get for you?”

“Four ales, and two large steaks.” Rendius says, before I can get a word in edgewise.

Hearing that the waitress nods, then turns to me. I blink, as I thought he ordered for two, but then realize that was likely his normal caloric intake. Shaking my head, I just order. “One steak.”

She nods and is about to turn away. Before that happens, I stop her.

“Say do you want to come back and join us for a drink?” I ask.

She just looks at me, then points to herself “clearly my drinking days are well past me.”

I blink. That was the oddest way I’ve ever been shot down in a bar by the serving staff. Honestly it was rather odd.

Also, I was surprised that I wasn’t carded. Then I realized I didn’t order any alcohol, unlike my recruiter. Still, they didn’t need to be carded?

Maybe it was a retinal scan? A lot of places have those, but then I look at the place and realize this is not one of those fancier resorts. I am stunned as I try to understand what exactly is happening. Then I realize I am likely just overthinking this whole scenario too much.

There are so many nuances about Dwenvarian culture that I don’t quite understand.

Still, I was rather excited about this. For the first time in this lifetime, I had found a bro. Not that the women I met weren’t special, but this was the first time a true bro wanted to spend time with me. I couldn’t help but feel this was a true turning point in this lifetime, so I decided to make the best of it.

“Truth be told, I have a business deal for you.” Rendius began. He had just managed to start sobering up, when the waitress came with four large tankards of ale.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, we cover up the whole thing in the alley. In fact, I know a guy and we can get you off world. What do you say, we go off kill Prolaxians then drink till it is finally tomorrow?” Rendius says, as he begins to slur his words more and more, as he proceeds to down his ales in quick succession. With each drink, he is becoming harder and harder to understand. I am half tempted to cast Cleanse on him but am stopped when I see that he passes out mid-sentence.

With that the waitress, comes back over and looks at him. Then she begins to shake her head annoyedly.

“He keeps putting up a strong show, but he knows his days out with the boys will soon end.”

Hearing that I nod. I know the Dwenvarians do live for a long time, but the rumor is that they tend to slow down a lot as they get older.

“So, are you, his handler?” I ask.

Hearing that, the waitress looks shocked for a second. “They said you were a smart one.” She says as she pushes the passed out Goldhammer further down the bench.

I chuckle as the entire thing was far too easy to read. Even if I didn’t have my memories, it was clear that Rendius only remembered half of their lines and even then, managed to fail at them quite spectacularly. Still, I was intrigued about Dwenvarian culture.

“Maybe. So, what is it you really want?” I ask.

“To put it simply. You.”

I liked this, finally a direct approach. I was glad that the Dwenvarians seemed to be exceptionally terrible at subterfuge.

“So, tell me what it is that you intend. Know I don’t mind working on mercenary contracts, but nothing truly binding.” I begin.

Mercenary contracts were the equivalent of ten-day contracts, or until completion contracts. Meaning either time, or a specific function had to be met and I would be free to go.

“Well first, tell me what it is you wish to do?”

I just smiled. “Simple, kill Prolaxians and get paid for my efforts.”

“That’s it? Nothing grandiose like gaining political power?”

I just laughed.

“Why would I want to be bound to try to please dozens of people all the time. When I know how hard it is to make me happy by myself.”

Hearing that the waitress nodded, though it was clear that she was far more than just a waitress. The way other patrons acted with deference towards her, and the way she commanded respect, she was not someone to take lightly.

“So do you have any conditions?”

I thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, I want a position away from here. And Rendius needs to stay nearby.”

“I have to ask, do you have any plans for wooing the great one, do you?”

Hearing the words, I almost do a spit take, fortunately for me I didn’t have anything in my mouth. I look at the pile of muscles, body hair, and beard. “He is a male right?” I asked somewhat hesitantly.

The waitress looked from me, then to Rendius, then answered “currently.”

Phew. I let out a sigh of relief. Rendius was either an okay looking dude, or an ugly woman and I didn’t want to send up any mixed flags. I figured her one-word answer was some form of Dwenvarian humor. Again, jokes across languages don’t really work. Still, I couldn’t help but be relieved.

“No, I think hanging out with a true bro would be fun.” I answer truthfully.

The waitress pauses and stares at me for a bit. Then seems to come to some form of conclusion. “Okay, enjoy your time together as bros while you can.”

I look at her confused for a second and am about to ask. When she hits me with a base contract. “Here is a standard work agreement. Your clause of working with Rendius has been noted and should be possible to provide. Now just sign at the bottom line.”

I looked at the form that was being provided.

Ten-day work Contract.

As far as forms went, it was simple and provided me an out. It also gave the Dwenvarians time to both evaluate me and my effectiveness, while also seeing if they wanted to recruit me for their true project. Regardless, I was excited. This was a new process of life. I had a new drinking buddy and was about to experience parts of this universe that are only hinted at in human texts.

Yep, life was almost perfect, and for the first time in a long while I knew things would stay this way. Nope, nothing could possibly go wrong.