“My what?” Prof had a very bad feeling.

They were on an official mission, directly from the village chief, surely such a thing as a hunting license was not needed. It was not needed back in Wanderberg! If it was so imperative, surely Foxy, Shinead or someone else would have mentioned the need for one! Right? Right? Right?

Of course, a hunting license was needed for forest activities in the Elven Domains. It was such a basic knowledge, that not even Foxy, who was “employed” by Prof to tell him common knowledge, thought that Prof would walk around the Domain without a license.

Shinead assumed, Prof had gotten one in the last month, so haven’t asked about it, and Mini… didn’t care and also assumed, Prof had one. As it transpired, everyone had a license. But Prof did not have one. As with every civilized place, the Elves had rules and laws against doing something without licenses – and how many rules and laws they had!

And fines! And costs, taxes, and an unending number of things he had to pay.

Since he hunted without license, he lost all his loot and payment for the job, while still paying taxes for them, he had to retroactively pay a contribution for being in the Domain without a license, pay a fine for hunting without license, pay for issuing a license, pay for administration and pay for… he didn’t understand the last few items.

After paying through his nose, he lost almost 50 silvers, or about a third his share from the bandit raid. He started to feel fed up with the Domain. He was warned about Elves having an inclination for kicking teeth, but this was way worse.

This was about money! He was cheated again.

“Damn. I think I was cheated again. Girls, are there anymore rules I have to know not to be cheated again?”

“It was your own fault hunting without a license” Shinead informed him.

“At least partly. You were cheated, however. Still, he could have implemented some other taxes and fines, so be grateful.” Foxy added “As for other things… There are a few. But, as a foreigner and a Human, you will be cheated, taxed, fined, fleeced either way. Only the amount would be different.”

“You Elves don’t like outsiders, don’t you?”

“No, not particularly. The basic sentiment is that you Humans came, took a large part of our country, so it’s only fair if we kick out your teeth and let you pay for the damage on our boots.” Shinead explained. “A few Thousand years is a couple of generations for us, so the memory is still alive.”

“Long living race, eh? All right, Foxy, hit me what I need to minimise the robbing.”

“Let’s see… You need a passport, traveling permit, camping permit, permit to practice magic, permit to practice chi, permit to practice species-specific magical traits, license to bear arms, license to use arms, animal driving licence, cart driving license, animal riding license, adventurer’s license, commercial license, permit to have pets, permit to own a dangerous pet – those are important, since you have a Kobold now – permit to perform crafts, and since you are underage according to Elven Law, a permit from your legal guardian to drink alcohol, have sex and running around on your own.”

“WHAT?!?! Are you serious?”

“Yes. Those are the more important ones I can think of right now. A good enough prince or steward could probably come up with others too.”

“Why do I need a magic license?!? I don’t even know anything about magic! Or the species-specific stuff”

“That is not the point.” Shinead shook her head “It is not about the question of being able to cast spells, it’s about having the license to be allowed to. If you can not prove, you are allowed to cast magic, you can and will be fined.”

“Oh, I remembered another one! You will need a permit for owing and using magical items too!” Mini added her two leaves to the discussion. Prof was almost crying. He was so happy to get rid of the over-regulated, over-administered Earthen standards, and here he was back again.

“See it this way: at least your Clan Head, that is Shinead, can issue a lot of those permits and licenses, you only need to register them at the prince’s office. That would be much cheaper.” Foxy reassured him.

“Can I be his legal guardian?” Mini asked “I will give him permission to drink as much as he likes, and have sex with me!”

“Wait, wait, wait! If you are my legal guardian, I could not have sex with you… On second thought, please be my legal guardian.”

“Actually, according to Elven Law, you can have sex with your legal guardian, as long as both of you are above the age to have a Character Parchment. And not directly blood related.” Foxy clarified.

They returned to the guest house and Shinead started to fill out forms for the different permits and licenses she was able to provide. Meanwhile Prof drank himself silly – all those losses he suffered made him depressed.

At least the two kind of quality booze they got from the bywaymen were really good stuff, a sommelier from Earth would have spewed about rich texture and flowery smell and nutty aftertaste and such, but he was more interested in the alcohol content. The others joined him for a glass, but left him to wallow in misery.

Next day he returned to the chief’s office with the completed documentation, paid for the administration, paid for the next pile of documents to be prepared, paid for them to be issued and paid for them to be administered. He paid for something else but he wasn’t really sure what that was, and further around fifty silvers were gone. If this continued, he would have left with less money than he arrived with – but this wasn’t Las Vegas or a famous tourist trap but just a small trading town on the borderland. If he got fleeced this much in an unimportant place, what should he expect from the larger towns and cities?

He hoped, the track for the Clan’s attacker would lead them somewhere else.

It was somehow expected, that mysteriously the “owner” of every last animal they captured turned up, and they were left without one. At least they received a token “finder’s fee”. With the captured animals out of the picture, Prof needed to spend money on beasts of burden too – fortunately, a few new animals wound up at the horse-seller almost immediately after Prof’s prizes were gone.

Strangely in the same numbers, composition and looks. No one would accuse the Elves to buy animals for a token finder’s fee and sell it immediately for a huge profit. Mostly because there would some teeth-kicking be involved as a reply for the accusation. The party inspected the animals for sale.

“I’m quite sure, thirty silvers are a bit too much for these half-dead horses.” Prof surmised

“Actually, you got the exchange rate wrong. It’s a bit less then forty silvers.” Foxy corrected him “Not counting the registration fee and taxes.” she added a few seconds later in a whisper.

“The donkeys for fifteen aren’t much better. But we need some beasts of burden to move all that stuff we kept after the raid. Ehmmm… Esteemed trader of used equines, would you part your ass for twenty silvers?”

Before his teeth were kicked for the butchered grammar, Foxy intervened, and corrected him.

“He means, would you part with your donkeys for twenty Bears?”

After a bit of fierce haggling, Prof was the new proud owner of two slightly used donkeys for the price of twenty-five silvers, taxes and fees not included. And without saddles, reins, and other extras. That cost another ten silvers total. And looked exactly like those they liberated from the bandits.

Shinead’s enquiry provided some clues too. Although no one heard of a Grey Elf named Guillermo previously, the band of Humans marching through the Domain was quite obvious. As far as it could be determined, it was an amalgam of companies and bands for the Bergian lands, Forestdeep, and even the Empire and other lands.

A few smaller bands split from the main column, but those were quickly dealt with by local troops, but the main column (still a hundred strong) had valid traveling papers and left the Domain some time earlier in the direction of the Valley of Torment after re-provisioning in the Green’s area. At this point, a Grey Elf, named Guillermo led the company, and at least a few other Greys were with him.

“Another expedition to the Valley?” Foxy was surprised “They tend to have huge losses. At least those that haven’t disappeared without trace.”

“But how does the attack on the Clan tie into an expedition into the Valley? It looks like a huge risk to raid a Red Clan on one side of the Domain and then travel to the other side for an expedition.”

“I would say, it was either revenge, a training exercise or a private venture of one of the leaders. A raid for money is also possible. Possibly a bit from everything, getting money, weed out the undesirables and exact revenge.”

“We talked about the Valley a few times before, but why would someone send an expedition there?” Prof asked. The answer didn’t surprise him, however, it was the exact reason, Earth-Humans sent expeditions everywhere.

“Some were sent to discover a new trading route, but most were searching for treasure, I think.” of course, it was Foxy, who answered “Remember, the Valley was previously settled, and when the cataclysm happened, most couldn’t leave. There were cities there, armies, high level people with powerful equipment. And probably all is still there.”

“So, you could become rich.”

“Yes, but mostly just dead.”