《Suffocate My love》Chapter 72
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' why is he touching him so ...', he fell short of words.
The ice thawed and Ryle let Syin s hand lower down but he didn't let go. he held him at the finger tips , which still mange to raise a chill into Syin s hand however it was a bit welcome.Because he had just turned to back from ice, as they hands were still in contact, small purple snowflakes rained at the point where Ryle still held Syin
" I am really sorry about that", he answered and Syin raised his eyes to look at Ryle.
For the first time ever since Syin stepped into this school had he ever looked directly at Ryle with no interruption in between, just the two of them and the crystal clear air. He peered at a creature with such an alluring glare so magnetic more than the glistening stars of the cosmos , someone so chronologically put and elegant like the stitches of a fine piece of wear. An artwork that possesses an ocular structure with a tantalizing visual aura of caramel mixed with honey and scented with chocolate then dipped in diamond water. With the shape of his eyes , without a doubt the contours of his face would merge as well and the combination was like being struck by lighting in broad daylight. Moreover as he becomes so snow-whitish but not powdery-light when he is ice, he replicates a blossoming seedling in mid spring while willoughbys chime happily melodies of pure serenity and infinite semblance . How come all this time excellence had existed in the school yet Syin never realized such extreme levels of perfection.
Syin replied that he was fine and Ryle nodded to him . To be honest this was also the first time that Ryle had seen Syin up close and it is safe to conclude that he didn't appear as intimidating or maybe it is because Syin so spaced out right now that he appears harmless and fragile.
The prince lowered his eyes back to his hand and Ryle followed him . He slid with incredible stealth, out of Ryle s hold. And as he moved out some of the snowflakes drenched on his tips which he didn't bother rubbing off despite their coldness. So afterwards Syin fled towards his room . Suddenly he felt the need to throw up as opposed to how susceptible he is to being hungry when he gets indecisive.
Ryle kept looking at his hand that was frost-tipped but didn't feel cold. he felt like he had done something wrong to Syin which is why he left so awkwardly. normally Ryle doesn't think he did anything wrong but thanks to the sensitivity he has learned to posses thanks to Joln, he now overthinks every tense moment that he shares with anyone by thinking that he is the one to blame so everything is always his fault. As a result he, as of current, is feeling guilty and even it is minor , within a matter of minutes or hours he is going to feel significantly worse. he might be the king of ice and be very good at playing cold-hearted or emotionless but he can become incredibly delicate like his snowflakes super easily.
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He swerved out of place, facing backwards and the first alpha his sight landed on was Joln who was staring daggers at him. he wore the face of a vindictive alphaness that wanted to pounce her poison claws on an unfortunate prey. At the same time that happened Claudia, Savir and Valian took the chance and fled the scene. It was too confusing for them .
To Ryle, all he saw was that Joln s pride seemed like it was slapped with dung. Guess who is going to be blamed?
(Last night at the library)
" Stop!", Joln screeched loudly when Ryle could almost taste his breath. Ryle didn't expect for Joln to raise his voice like that, anyone would be inclined to think that Ryle was trying to take advantage of him.
Confidently Joln shoved Ryle to the side then he stood further away like he just escaped a carnivore s trap. While he panted ,he cursed and he placed one hand on his head and the other on his waist. He must have been holding or suppressing his breathe. Which means the fact that Ryle could pick up his warmth when he was trying to hide it, Ryle could be partly-ice . Though it can be a bit scarry as his facial skin can develop cracks or become literally like ice, it's not something that Joln hasn`t seen before.
" This is wrong. I just..this is wrong!!", he yelled in a confrontational tone , by virtue of which Joln never assumes a mature stand following on.
" It's wrong that... you like me and I LIKE YOU?",
" What!!", straight-forward confession. This is the first time he ever mouthed that line to Joln
" I am asking you if it's wrong that I have feelings for you ", Ryle was getting a bit sad and he whispered like a dying blizzard. His ice skin and the cracks moved as QI flowed underneath. he looked very ghoulish added to the fact that his bat-eyes now look like windows of hell
" That's not the POINT", he didn't have a goal in what he is saying. he just got a confession so he is dazzled to the point that he can't even look at Ryle straightly. Either that or he is uncomfortable with Ryle s grotesque appearance
" then What is ?",He felt a bit sorrowful .
" This, you.. touching me! wanting to k- ..me. it's not right ", he scornfully declared and demonstrated with his hands like Ryle was disgusting or infectious. All in all he seemed to disagree with the though of Ryle near him.
" what's wrong with that?", he already knows that Joln was putting up his walls again. Being afraid to be vulnerable .he understands but he wishes he didn't always say that the problem was Ryle.
" I just need SPACE", he angrily debated and peered right at Ryle , who was starting to become a bit more hybrid-ish. a cross between a human , a snow-man and a reptile particularly a snake.
" space ! so you only ever need space when i want to feel you " ,Ryle spoke with teeth clenched walking towards him. this is the fourth time he had tried to be intimate and he pushes him out then blames him. first it was Ryle making Joln 'uncomfortable', second it was Ryle being too pushy and hasty , third it was Ryle 'not caring enough nor being considerate' and now it`s Ryle being too involved.
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" didn't you say that you want me to be happy?. i need SPACE , RYLE, SPACE. it`s nothing to do your needs to feel. ", he roared backing off , as he detested to the tone of victim that he picks in Ryle , which he apparently didn't realize he himself was the detail-pruned reincarnation of that
" this is getting childish, you should know. I may be a dog but i wont chase you like a tail.", The tears were fighting to flow
" who asked you to?... just BACK OFF", plain and frank with a seasoning of anathematized discomfort
Ryle stormed out of the room and he ran upstairs then hid behind the shelves. There is no way he can act like he is bullet-proof to Joln. Joln ought to know the fact that Ryle is allowing them to be this close and personal means all of his guards are down and he is very much vulnerable to anything. naturally that means that he is sensitive to everything and can overread very little things , including Joln being selfish. At times , Ryle wants to believe that because all the events he meets Joln he shows his native-self and icebody, Joln might feel like he is not a wolf or rather he is an abomination, a mutation or a horrid bio-experiment. How is he going to react when he tells him that he was never born but was rather made? how far more disgusted and repulsed is he going to feel near him?
it can be very much taunting to think that of all the wolves here, Ryle is the one without family or a decent. He knows he is a cross of other elements and the fact that he is an omega doesn't mean he inherited it. it means that when his 'human' body was made , the genes of ice, alpha and human didn't mix well thus he became an omega whose human body is susceptible to changing to ice due to small factors. sort of like how many things can make the heart beat faster , there are things that can turn Ryle to ice. Emotional distress or turmoil being one of them
(Present moment)
Ryle gyrated out of the scene
' I am just giving you the space you demanded and you are staring like i am entitled to you ',he headed towards Kijad s office. He could feel the ice starting to crack on his lower back.
He does feel sentimental, bad and self-conscious mostly because part of him is getting frustrated. It feels like he is trying to force himself on Joln which is the opposite of his intentions. He does adore him and wants him to be happy to the extent that doesn't want him to feel like he is being pressured even if it may at occasion, come at the cost of Ryle s emotions. Ryle thinks that what happened yesterday could have happened way much better had he been more realistic and less expectant of Joln to be more agreeable. But this defensive side of his that knows Ryle is the only one serving up the sacrifices, thinks and convinces Ryle not to be gentle and understanding .it takes two to show that they both want this and so far Ryle is the only one proving this . if Joln is afraid of his feelings , the only way he can conquer that fear is to fight it. if he wants Ryle to be with him, he needs to learn how be comfortable with Ryle in his space . Both are the same as it`s also the first time that Ryle has ever dared to try exploring his feelings so it`s not fair that one gets to be the delicate one that gets extra attention and sensitivity for being a first .
Joln swallowed the stone on his throat and he went to find Valian. He wishes to talk about yesterday but he doesn't know what to say. He knows there might be a problem but he is refusing to believe that he is the issue. He is certain that it's normal to be uncomfortable and not to be used to having someone like Ryle around because Ryle is different. This is in the sense that he is not from here and is a different kind of elemental caster. Joln is brainwashed that all he needs is time to adjust, the question is how much time?
Adrian had already started to pick up the swords all over the place. He was doing that because he doesn't want to go with Joln and the others as it is still a bit raw to try pretending. Especially now , seeing the way they just exchanged looks, even if they look like they fighting, only couples do that so bottom line is they are in each other s hearts.
A worker came running and told Herim that he was being called to go and supply the food then head to Kijad s office along with Adrian. He stood so far away from him so he could not detect the pitiful aura.
" You're such a weakling. Losing and Crying so easily. I would have beat everyone with my eyes closed but then you are just not strong like me", he spoke trying to cheer him up indirectly since he is chubby and he cant even lift a barrel .
" Sometimes it's those ones who believe they can fight that actually can't", basically shut up. Herim moved his hands from his face and he pressed his torso to inject air inside his clothes. this provided temporary numbing .
In ten seconds , he only raised his torso and he sat upright . he saw Adrian cleaning up.Herim looked to his arm and rubbed over it . a red tattoo emerged and glowed. The chubby omega left and he called Adrian then reminded him that Kijad wants to meet .
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literally the title
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