《Lost Things》Chapter XI: An Average Day in the Future
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With nothing to add between Carson’s and Virgil’s exchanges, John used this opportunity to get up and walk away. And when Virgil took notice of him, he only told him he was heading off to sleep.
Once John arrived inside his bedroom, his body dropped into the bedsheets, as he stared up at the ceiling—his thoughts all messed up. He knew he had to go to work tomorrow, but he still felt the rush of excitement from the fight—that lingered, even now.
Did he find the answer to his problems? He had yet to see any, if there were ever any answers in the battle he had with Carson today. But at least, he felt the most alive in months—and he wasn’t sure what to do of it. Would it be like any other day, just passing by his life?
He mustered the energy to get up from the bed, to write the jumbled thoughts he had today. Even if he couldn’t sort anything out, he wanted to keep these memories in some way. Whether it was kept in his incoherent notes that only he could interpret, even if it was kept in the words of his other housemates, even if it was kept at the back of his mind…
Memory.
Would making memories be the answer? He didn’t know. Life had always felt stale to him, who only had a throwaway answer for his dreams—to build a family and live a happy life with them. Even if those words seemed insincere coming from him, he knew that somewhere, he had always craved some kind of happiness—even if it seemed like he had always taken it for granted.
What a fool he was.
Who were Virgil and Carson to him? He would normally answer with “housemates”, but as he thought harder about it—he stopped writing as he tried to figure out words to describe his feelings towards the two housemates. They were once complete strangers, but now, their presence felt natural to him. The word family seemed too powerful and sacred to use in this situation—to the point of making John shut his journal close from that thought. He sure couldn’t have felt something that strong—or to put it in other words, this kind of familiarity was still new to him, an embarrassment of a fool craving for happiness.
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As John changed his clothes into sleepwear and laid down on the bed again, he thought, that tomorrow would go on like usual. But he could make some memories with the two housemates, and possibly with the other friends.
But what’s next for tomorrow? He would never know exactly. The future could turn at any moment, and he wasn’t sure what to do with this realization.
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