“Stupid Issei… Stupid old man… Stupid, stupid, stupid!” I stomped around the living room, forcefully rearranging the interior. “Just try and run, I dare you! The fuck are you gonna do all alone, huh? Idiot…!”

Trying to make sense of the situation, my inner most thoughts spilled out accidentally. Issei wanted to go back home, that’s fine, but he should’ve told me! I’m his friend, aren’t I? We could’ve figured out a way to accomplish that together! And what kind of idiot trusts a random old man handing out quests in the ITA’s tavern? Must he always make my life so difficult?

“Ugh, I completely trashed the room. Fuck, now I gotta clean this mess up before Marina shows up. Wait, did Marina know anything about Issei’s plan? Was she keeping it a secret from me? What else is she hiding?! FUCK!”

Opting to throw the chair I just picked up instead of placing it back in its rightful place, I once again began my rampage on the living room. After tiring myself out (both mentally and physically), I realized just how bad I probably looked when viewed from outside, so in order to drown my sorrows I decided to whip out an bottle of Cardina brand alcohol I stashed away in the closet. Just then-!

“Happy!!” The doors slammed open, “Birthday!!” A girl clad in a maid dress ran into me and tossed me to the bed behind us, “Master!!!”

“W-Whoa there?! Marina, what are you wearing?!”

Is this what she usually wears when she’s on the job?! Sweet Prylos, give me strength…! No wait, does that mean Adam gets to see her like this all day? That sick bastard…! He’s hogging all the fun for himself!

“Humu, since it’s your birthday, I thought I’d play a little prank on you~! So? What do you think? Pretty hot, right?”

“Y-Ye…” I bit my tongue as I stuttered, “No wait, but more importantly, did you walk all the way back home dressed like that?”

Marina nodded bashfully, but that was actually a lie. In truth, she just changed back in the Grys Castle’s locker rooms as usual, walked back home in her casual attire, then changed back right before she entered the house. This ensured she wouldn’t get it dirty on the way to the house, which was of very high importance. You wouldn’t want a dirty maid to go about cleaning the house now, would you?

“Just relax and have some fun. I’m your present for today~”

“S…”

Stop! I wanted to shout, but she made sure to hush me with her index finger on my lips. The act was seductive in nature, but I just had too many things going through my head to be able to notice. Pushing her off of me, I made sure to abruptly stop her advances.

“What was that for?” She protested.

“I should be asking you that myself!” I shot back, “You waltz in here wearing that seductive as fuck dress, then just jump on me without giving me any context? Do you do this sort of thing with Adam too?!”

“W-What!?” She jumped back, “Of course not! Adam’s my employer, nothing more! How could you even begin to think such a thing?”

“Because you’re wearing that thing in front of him for the entirety of the day! He’s definitely making you wear that to satiate his fetishes!”

Marina, now realizing I was in a bad mood, immediately went ahead and asked if I was drunk again. Who does she think she is? I haven’t even taken a sip of alcohol ever since we spent the night together!

“I take it you weren’t happy with Issei’s present, then?” She asked begrudgingly.

“Wrong. I’m happy with the gift, but that asshole is dead to me.”

“How is that even possible?”

“He plans on leaving to go visit all the World Wonders. That prick heard from some random old man that that’s what’ll get him back to his home world.”

Marina was now thoroughly confused, figures. I guess this means she didn’t know about Issei’s plan at all either, which at least makes me happy that she’s not keeping anything from me. Well, I shouldn’t throw away the idea just yet…

“Some random old man? Never mind.” She tried to change the subject, “Well, if you don’t wanna fool around, wanna have a drink while we chat instead then?”

“A drink?” I asked.

“Yeah, some dummy with a Purple Iro hid a bottle of Cardinal alcohol in our closet, so I figured he would get lonely if he drank it by himself.”

This girl…! Ugh, whatever. We decided to tidy the place up just enough so we could sit down and crack open the bottle. Sitting down, I noticed she had long since given up on trying to act all prim and proper with the maid act, and instead sat down in her usual slovenly style, indicating she just wanted to have an honest chat with me.

“Oh, by the way,” She started off the conversation, “What did you say those friends of yours were called? Y’know, the ones you told me you traveled with all across your home country.”

“That’s an odd thing to ask. But man, that sure brings me back…”

“Hey! No time for dreamy flashbacks! C’mon, what were their names!”

Whoa, why is she so adamant about this? Well, she’s being honest with me, so I don’t see the harm in being honest back.

“Edward and Anna.” I said, “But that was a long time ago, like five or six years at least. I haven’t been writing to Anna at all ever since Ed and I left for the Kingdom of Carmen, and Ed’s probably back home with his parents.”

“Well,” She smiled deviously, “There just so happened to pop up two interesting individuals who fit the bill in terms of name and outer appearance over at the castle today.”

“…WHA-!” I leaned too far back on my seat and fell on my back.

***

These two… What are they doing here in Cardina?! Could they have found out about me? No, no matter how you look at it, I barely get out of the inn these days, and the amount of contact with society I have is kept to a minimum to hopefully somewhat nullify the chances this very thing happening! No, but wait, this is good news! I get to see them again! After so long! I have to get to the castle immediately!

“Hold on there, buckaroo!” Marina grabbed the back of my collar right as I was leaving the house, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To see my friends?”

“And what about Adam?”

“What about him?”

Marina groaned, as if she had predicted this very outcome from the start. After a while of heavily thinking of how to go about explaining this to someone like me, she finally took a deep breath and started listing off all the reasons.

“First of all, Adam saw how Sol looks. If you just waltzed in there you’d be held prisoner immediately.”

“I can just tell him I was Lune all along.”

“And what then?” She shot back, “Then he’ll either immediately report you to the ITA or just simply not care and keep you prisoner.”

“But Anna and Ed…” The logic in my arguments was getting more and more irrational.

“They’ll look at you with the same gaze everyone else would after seeing someone they love and care for converting to a Purple Iro.”

“…”

“…”

Ugh, I don’t wanna have to listen to her rambling, but it’s not like it isn’t sound advice. In fact, I’m sure I’d regret it later if I didn’t listen to her, so I’ll just accept the situation as is.

“So what now?” I asked, “I just can’t see them at all?”

“Right, well…” Marina thought up an idea for a second, “How about we do it like this? They’ll apparently be spending the night at the castle for a while until they depart further into their journey, so how about I talk to them about what they’ve been up to, and then further relay that info to you?”

“You’d do that for me?” I asked, as if looking at a Guardian Angel.

“Humu, I’d do anything for the hopeless guy I fell in love with.”

She’s a godsend! But wait, this is actually incredible news, now that I know that they’re safe, maybe we could hitch a ride with them once they leave the Grys’ care. Oh, but what are they even here for, if not for me? Eh, I’ll have Marina ask them about it.

“So,” Marina took another sip of the alcohol, “Are those two like, going out?”

“?”

Where’d she get that? Those two are like siblings at best, I doubt either of them would be dumb enough to break that bond they share in favor of a romantic one.

“They aren’t?” I took another swig of my alcohol.

“Whoa! Calm down there, don’t wanna drink too much too fast! The people at the castle say that really messes you up!” She warned before continuing her thought, “But really, them being anything but a couple really makes no sense! I mean, that Ed guy just told me to ‘Prepare a change of sheets’ in the morning, because they’ll be sleeping in the same room. Now that’s a bold statement, am I right?”

“What? No, then that can’t be Ed. The Ed I know is shy and meek, if he dared say that to Anna, then her grandpa would hang him on a cross.”

“Oh, right, they mentioned something about that grandpa of hers. Apparently he’s sick and they’re here to find a cure for him or something.”

“…Couldn’t have told me that sooner?”

“Sorry! Looks like the alcohol is getting to me a bit as well! I’m so forgetful~!”

That’s… not funny. Not at all, I mean, Arthur’s sick? That’s news to me. And had I not mentioned Arthur, you wouldn’t even think to tell me, is that it? Ugh, I need another glass… But she’s probably just being cold like that because she wants to be considerate of me, so I should probably act calm too.

“Shame.” I said as I took another swig.

“Whoa, isn’t that kind of rude? Aren’t you close with him? Geez, and you’re drinking too much again!”

What? You’re gonna make me out to be the bad guy even though I was reading the room? Ugh, annoying bitch… And this alcohol is too quick to drink, I need another glass!

“Oh no you don’t!” She took the half-drunk bottle out of my reach, “That’s enough for tonight! You clearly can’t handle your booze just yet!”

“Hey, I was drinking that!” I tried to take it away from her, but she stopped me from getting close by shoving her foot on my face.

I could easily juke her out, given the difference in our battle prowess, but I was getting really tipsy from the alcohol, and my footing was all over the place.

“Y’know, instead of just drinking that alcohol like a selfish loser all by yourself, how about we gift the bottle to those two lovebirds, instead?”

“Ngh, fine!” I backed off for now, ”But just to make this one thing clear, they’re not lovebirds! ”

“Humu, we’ll see~! And besides, how would you know that anyways?”

“Well, there was this one time when Ed injured his leg in Springwood, so we had to pick him up from the clinic…”

Talking about that old anecdote, I noticed she was staring directly into my eyes. But this wasn’t her usual hateful gaze towards the color of my pupils, but rather a warm and gentle one, as if to say I’m all ears!

“Phahahahaha! What’s up with that? He really declared that in front of her grandpa?”

“Heh, well, he didn’t know she and him were related. Honestly, if you mentioned it to him tomorrow, I’d assume he would still remember that moment vividly.”

“Yeah,” She added, “Too bad I can’t. If I told him I knew about that, he’d quickly find out about you, so let’s just keep everything all nice and hidden for now.”

“Right.” I said as I got up from my seat and put the entire weight of my body on the bed.

I wasn’t thinking anything inconspicuous at the time, but it seems Marina misread the situation and jumped on the bed with me, asking if I wanted to continue the roleplay session she had started, and I interrupted.

“Heh, sure, who am I to decline this tantalizing offer?” I said as I embraced her.

“Please be gentle, Master~!” She said the words every man so desperately wanted to hear at least once in their life.

Geez, how could anyone say ‘no’ to that?!