《Transcontinental》4.20: We Had a Fun Day
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After barely escaping Arthur’s judgement thanks to Aaron and Cecily’s efforts, Anna and I walked over to Harper’s clinic. This place has barely changed since the last time I saw it, but then again, was there ever a need for any change in the first place? It’s got everything Harper could ever need in there, so the fact that she decided to keep it as is definitely doesn’t come as a surprise or anything.
“Hello, we need to talk to Miss Harper.” I said to the guard.
“You got an appointment this late in the evening? It’s nearly the end of her dayshift!”
“Yeah, we had to procure some herbs for her, so she told us to come over as soon as we get them. By the way, what do you mean by ‘dayshift’? How long does Miss Harper work in a day?”
“Basically around the clock. Well, she does get some rest every now and then when another doctor or nurse pays her a visit, but apart from that she basically has about an hour in between shifts and that’s it.”
“A-!”
An hour between shifts?! That makes about two hours of rest per day, which means… 22 HOURS OF WORK A DAY?!? That’s insane! But well, just goes to show how committed she is to doing her job and helping the community, she’s a real godsend to us common folk! We truly don’t deserve such grace!
While I was busy internally praising Miss Harper’s absolute badassery as a medical professional, Anna brazenly snapped me out of it by taking my hand and bolting to Miss Harper’s office (after we got permission from the guard, of course). What’s got her so on-edge? I mean, I guess I did sort of force her into accompanying me here in the heat of the moment, so I certainly understand her frustration.
“Knock knock!”
“Come in!”
“You ruined the joke, Miss Harper! You’re supposed to say ‘Who’s there?’ ”
Looks like Miss Harper really wasn’t having any of my jokes. Looking at her once more, I am now definitely a lot more conscious of the dark spots under her eyes, as well as that Latte she always drinks. And to think my ignorant ass thought she drank it because she simply liked it! She was both drinking it for the pleasure, as well as the energizing effect it had on the body! Truly a genius at multitasking! That’s Miss Harper for you!
“Ed, what if the person on the other side of the door was a fatally wounded man? Of course I’m not gonna joke around when I have no idea who’s there.”
“Well, if he’s fatally wounded, then there’s really no point in letting him in in the first place, now is there? He’ll die soon enough anyway.”
“Ed! Where did that come from?!”
Ah crap, I said a bit of my true feelings out loud there. Looks like she’s angry at me now. But come on, I’m right, right? If the man’s knocking on death’s door, then you’d just be wasting time and energy trying to revive a deadman when you could be treating other, more salvageable people!
“A-Ah, apologies, Miss Harper. This trip has been a bit grueling on my psyche. That was uncalled for on my part.”
“What part of our journey was grueling? We basically stayed up all night doing slumber parties and eating chips-!”
“Shhh! Shush, Anna! It was grueling!”
Phew, she almost gave us away, damned woman… Well, thankfully it looks like Miss Harper didn’t really care for what we were bickering about, as she just decided to cut to the chase. Bravo, Miss Harper, truly an efficient woman!
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“So, you got the Andolia?”
“Yep, we got a ton of them thanks to some local’s kindness. They’re sitting safely at Arthur’s place, so we just came to tell you to come by whenever you’re free. T-That is, if it aligns with your schedule, Miss Harper!”
“Will do.”
Looks like Anna’s nasty attitude suddenly burst forth, as she suddenly decided she couldn’t take it anymore and started berating me for some odd reason.
“Ugh! Will you stop fawning over her already?! Every time she’s nearby, all I can ever hear from you is ‘Miss Harper this’ and ‘Miss Harper that’!”
“Miss Anna, is everything alright? Please keep quiet whilst you’re in the hospital, it’s quite late and the patients are trying to get some sleep.”
“Oh shut up, you damned broad! Don’t think I don’t see what you’re trying to accomplish here with that act of yours!”
“A-Act?”
“That’s right! Everyone aaalways praises you for being this amazing person, and you’re using that to its fullest advantage to get closer to Ed!”
Wait what!? Is she seriously getting jealous in this scenario?!
“Wai- Anna?! W-What are you talking about?! Miss Harper and I aren’t-!”
“Stay out of it, Ed! I’ve heard how you praise her the most, calling her ‘Master’ and ‘Goddess’ countless times… I’m sick of it! But guess what, idiot, he’s MY man, now! So you can just back the fuck away!”
“…”
“…”
Now look what you did, dummy. You left everyone speechless with this amazingly crafted, yet equally unbelievable conspiracy theory of yours. But oddly enough, Miss Harper was completely unfazed by Anna’s harsh words.
“Congratulations? But you don’t have to worry, these fears of yours are normal for your age, but are also completely unfounded. Please do not worry, I never intended on pursuing Ed in that sense. He’s much younger than me, so I see him as nothing more than an apprentice.”
Dang. I mean, the endless praise I was dishing out towards Miss Harper was genuinely meant to be taken as platonic respect, but even still these words kind of made me feel sad. But yeah, to think Anna was this worried about me being taken by someone else, I should really start thinking of her own feelings as well. Alright, tell you what, to rectify this issue, I just need to endlessly praise Anna’s good points as well, and then everyone’s happy!
“Yeah!” Anna proudly announced her victory, “You better walk away! Heh, I’m feeling generous, though, so if you’re really thirsting after him that much, I’ll call you over for a cup of tea to explain in detail just how good he is in bed!”
At these words, Miss Harper snapped.
“What. Did. You… Say?”
“Yep, we slept together like real man and woman! What’s this? Feeling jealous? Oh, how lovely it was-!”
“You idiots! Have you no idea how bad that is to do at your age?! Ugh, as a medical professional, that really got on my nerves… What’s next, you’re gonna tell me you didn’t wear protection as well?”
Pr-
“Protection?”
Miss Harper stood up from her seat, walked up to me in a somewhat menacing manner, before giving me a stern slap right across the face.
“YOU WANNA KNOCK HER UP THAT BADLY OR SOMETHING?! HOW THE HELL DO YOU NOT KNOW OF ANY BASIC ANTICONTRACEPTIVE MEANS?!”
Anna quickly piped down after seeing just how scary and fierce Miss Harper can get, and while I was left speechless, rubbing the red handmark from my face, Miss Harper rummaged through her bag and whipped out a small, square shaped box with a sign that showed ‘no babies!’.
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“Here, use this next time you do that stuff. You two are young, so you should really keep it in moderation. Ed, you’re smarter than this, you should know full well what happens when a hole and a stick meet too much.”
“The seeds planted there make a tree grow?”
She chuckled halfheartedly at my euphemist reply, but it seems I at least got it right. Well, she’s calmed down now, so all’s good in my book.
“Well, I think I’ve seen this before in pharmacies and such, but just to make sure, I put this on my…?”
“Yep, use those however you like, think of it as a gift for the new couple in town, courtesy of me.”
At this point, both Anna and I were quite embarrassed. God, and Anna even started shouting such indecent things at her, yet she’s still treating us this nicely? We really don’t deserve Miss Harper…
While we were leaving the room though, my Analyze ability started acting up, so from behind the door, I read Miss Harper’s mind.
“Haa, so those two got together? Shame… No wait! Get it together, Harper, you can’t be thinking of him like that!”
Hold the fuck up…
Well, now I’m all hot and bothered. Ooh, I know how to relieve all this pent up tension from me!
“Hey, Anna…”
“Yes, Ed?”
“W-Well, how do I say this…? Heh…”
Fuck, the words won’t come out, it’s too embarrassing to say!
“Well, since Miss Harper gave us this gift and all, I was thinking maybe we could… Book an inn tonight? Y’know, j-just to try it out?”
With a bit of a flushed face and a satisfied smile, Anna simply giggled and took my hand while she walked me to a nearby inn (Score…!!!)
***
Awaking from last night’s happy funtime, the morning was just as tranquil as the last time we did it (minus the headache from the hangover). Looking over to my right hand side, Anna’s sleeping face was quite cute, and the contrast between the cuteness from her face and the hotness from her alluring body only accentuated how I felt about her. Before getting up, I gave her a quick peck on the cheek, which in turn made her smile in her sleep (too cute…!)
After that, nothing too out of the ordinary happened. We got dressed, I tipped the inn staff kindly, and we left to go see how Arthur’s doing. But on the way there, though, we ran into a certain kid…
“Oh, sup’ Lemmy.”
“Who’re you?”
Whoa, rude! I’ll have you know we met back at your school’s Grand Opening, and you even managed to insult both me and my dear Anna! You should be thankful I’m kind enough to not beat you up right here, right now!
“Don’t you remember? We’re Ed and Anna! We met at the Grand Opening?”
“…” Lemmy tried to feign recollection, “Oh, right right, Ed and Anna… Now I remember! Hey, we’re friends, right?”
Eh? Where’d this come from?
“Friends?” Anna tilted her head to the side, “Do you even remember the nasty stuff you were saying to us back then?”
“Oh uh, well… That’s just how I am with close friends! Right! But never mind that, I need your help!”
“What do you need? Is everything alright with your father?”
“You mean Lee? He’s not my dad, but it does have something to do with him. You see, he’s off working right now, but I have a parent teacher conference which I forgot to tell him about. Could you two maybe act like my parents, just this once?”
Well, that’s certainly a weird request. Let me just ask your mother about that.
“What do you think, honey? Our son needs our help, what kind of parents would we be if we didn’t do this much for him?”
“H-Honey?! W-Well, I don’t mind helping him out… But please don’t call me honey. It’s still a bit embarrassing…”
Looks like she’s still feeling fuzzy from last night. Really, she is the cutest being in this world…
As such, we went to the school with Lemmy in tow. The place was bustling with other kids and teachers alike, really felt alive. I’m both glad it worked out, and proud of my Uncle and Graal for making this school come to be. We greeted the teacher who we were supposed to meet with, and he sat all three of us down around the kiddie table (ugh, these seats are way too small for adults…)
“Well, nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Saint. We’re here to discuss how Lemuel’s been doing in school.”
Pfft…! Is this kid’s name seriously Lemuel?! That’s too hilarious! Ow, he hit me for laughing! Stupid Lemuel…
“Right, so how has he been doing?”
“Well, as you can imagine, he’s a bit too honest for his own good. Back when he enrolled, he was very quick to voice his discontent with others, causing some backlash from his peers. Honestly, I was scared he might be a troublemaker.”
“Right. We apologize on his behalf and we’ll talk about it when we get home.” I said as I winked at Lemmy from the side.
“Ah, don’t get me wrong. He’s an extremely intelligent and confident kid. He quickly got his act together and rose up the ranks within the class. He’s now very kind to others, and is amazing at keeping them in check. Right now, he’s doing his part wonderfully as the class president.”
W… Wow. Just… What? I’m at a loss for words, I mean, class president? This little shitstain? Well, I gotta hand it to Lee, he’s a really amazing father for the tyke, since apparently Lemmy’s doing surprisingly well with the other kids.
“That’s incredible! But I’m sure that’s just because of how well the staff do their job here! Thank you for accepting our Lemmy with so much patience!”
“Oh, Mr. Saint, you flatter me too much. But thank you very much for the compliment, we always make sure to do our best here at Graalridge University.”
Graalridge University, eh? I was wondering how this schools is called, too… Seeing as it was my Uncle and Graal who were the school’s headmasters, I was expecting something really stupid, but that name actually kind of rolls off the tongue!
“Oh, before you go, I’d just like to ask you two something.”
“What is it, Teach?” Anna nonchalantly said while rocking on her chair.
“Well, Lemuel is certainly a model student in terms of interacting with others, but well, his grades are… abysmal, to say the least.”
Needless to say, we were so surprised that Anna actually fell back from her chair. I’d laugh if the teacher didn’t lecture us on ways to motivate Lemmy to start studying for hours on end. In the end, what was supposed to be an in-and-out operation turned into a two hour long slog.
“Ugh, we’re finally home free!”
“Yo, Lemmy!” Lee showed up in front of us while we were escorting Lemmy back home, “How was school today? Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Saint, was it? What are you doing here?”
“U-Uh, please forget that, Mr. Lee! I just said that because I was flustered, Ed and I aren’t actually married yet.” Anna timidly corrected the misunderstanding.
“Oh, is that it? Well, just be sure to call me when the wedding ceremony takes place, y’hear?”
“A-Ah, will do!”
“In any case,” I added, “We were just accompanying Lemmy here to a parent teacher conference, since he said you were busy.”
“Oh? I see…” Lee slumped down, a bit depressed after having found that out, “So, what did the teacher say about Lemmy?”
Lemmy nervously looked up at me, signifying he wanted me to not give him away to his pops. But don’t worry, kid, I have experience in covering for someone who’s in trouble!
“Oh, Lemmy’s a delight, apparently!The teacher did say that he started off with a bit of a potty mouth, but he quickly got accustomed to his peers and teachers and is now sitting proudly at the seat of the class president!”
“Wow! My Lemmy’s like that?”
I know, right?
“But still,” Lee continued, “How are his grades?”
Rule number 4: Commit.
“The teacher just sort of glossed over that topic, so I assume they’re nothing to worry about. I did catch a glimpse of them, and from what I can see, he’s doing pretty good, at least compared to the other kids’ grades.”
“I see. Well, I’m sorry he had to bother you, and thanks so much. Lemmy, got anything to say to these two after taking so much of their time?”
“Oh yeah, thanks for doing this, guys. I didn’t think that damned bastard was gonna keep us for this long, but everything worked out in the end.”
“No worries, Lemuel.”
At these words, Lee and Anna started chuckling, and Lemmy threw a fit and started hitting me repeatedly while cussing me out.
“Grr…! Why must all you older teens be so stupid!? First it was that Lune guy burning our base down, now you’re gonna make fun of me as well?!”
W…
“What did you just say?”
“That you’re annoying and stupid and…!”
“No, not that.” Anna added, ”Did you say the person who burned down your home was… Lune?”
After Lee realized that we in fact knew who Grim was, he decided to invite us over to his home and explain everything he knew about Grim’s whereabouts. He told us how Grim was captured by them and their entourage of bandits, how Lee fed him while the others burned all his belongings, and how after Lee gave him some items, Grim managed to escape after burning their base down.
“I’m not sure where your friend is, but please don’t be mad at him or his actions. He did what he needed to do to escape.”
“Oh, I see. We’re sorry for what he’s done, but thank you for helping him make it out. We’ve actually been searching for him for the past year or so, as well, so, so this information is actually really helpful!”
Just while we were thanking Lee, though, Lemmy had burst into another fit of rage.
“You… gave that asshole the tools to burn down our base? WHAT THE FUCK, LEE?!”
“O-Oi, Lemmy, sit back down. We have guests here, so please don’t be like this.”
“Shut up! All those bandits abandoned us, beat you up… All because that asshole burned the place up! You lost your eye because of our former bandit friends, wearing an eyepatch n’ shit…!”
“L-Lemmy, please, Lune isn’t at fault here-!”
“I DON’T CARE WHOSE FAULT IT IS! YOU COULD’VE GOTTEN YOURSELF KILLED HAD I NOT STEPPED IN WITH COMMAND!”
While we sat there, trying to find the right words to diffuse the situation, Lee kept calm and simply referred to Lemmy with the utmost honesty.
“Lemmy, I don’t regret helping Lune out. You’re still young, you were surrounded by bandits since birth, so you might not really know this yet, but kindness is how the world should work. Not violence, not control, but kindness. I was planning on burning the entire base down soon anyway, so if you want to blame someone, blame me.”
At these words, Lemmy burst into tears. He was certainly young, too young to properly take all these news at once, in any case. He quickly went to hide his tears by hugging Lee, all the while muttering something unintelligible from the sobbing. Lee was glad that he could finally get this off his chest, and at this point quietly gestured to us that they’ll be alright, and that we’re free to leave if we have things to do.
We followed his advice and excused ourselves from the premises. But no matter how tough this situation was right now, it was certainly worth it, since now we have some sort of lead on Grim! We quickly ran to Arthur’s to tell Cecily everything we’ve learned on our trip. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled!
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