Chapter Fifty-four

I've never been in love before. Never before Inanis. I've had boyfriends, crushes, but never love. Most of my boyfriends, I've broken up with myself. Other boyfriends had called it quits, and I was over them within a day.

This felt entirely different.

It's been almost a month since the presidential killing. I've been uselessly laying at my father's home, with nothing better to do than to think about my decisions the past few months, and cry.

My father was trying his best to help me get over everything that had happened, but it feels almost impossible.

I avoid the television, any sort of news outlet. My father keeps the newspaper hidden from me, for good reason.

Walking down the stairs, my father, who was sitting on the couch drinking his coffee watching television, quickly scrambled for the remote and turned it off before I got down the stairs.

"Hey, hon," He said, lifting his coffee cup in salute, "Sleep well?"

We both know I didn't. I don't say anything in response, but instead, move to the kitchen and pour myself my own cup of coffee. I haven't eaten much since the divorce, and I feel like half the person I had been.

This past month has consisted of me doing nothing but mope, cry, and sleep. My father, who really is the best, has attempted to make me feel better multiple times by offering to take me hiking, camping, or even a vacation to Hawaii.

None of that sounded appealing, though. In fact, no place in the world sounded more appealing to me than hiding in my bed.

The world knows my face. They know me as the Harvester who couldn't fucking do her job. And I never will. I am no longer the Harvester. Inanis no longer belongs to me.

The hole in my chest only feels wider at the thought.

I was also incredibly aware of the date. August thirteenth. Inanis would be selecting his newest victim and announcing the name today. I would be standing beside him. I'd be currently getting dressed in the Harvester's gown. He'd be wearing his typical crimson Bone Cutter's coat. He'd look gorgeous in his jewelry, and expensive taste.

I lean my head on the back cushion of the couch, and sigh. I really have seemed to lose all meaning.

Who was I, before Inanis? I don't even remember.

I check the time, and see the clock reads 10:42. In a little over two hours, Inanis will be on television, announcing his next kill.

I suddenly feel irritated, and sick. "I think I'm going to go lay down." I don't want to leave my bed until I'm certain Inanis is off all television screens. I don't even want to hear his fucking name.

"Hon, you just woke up, why not go for a walk? Or you can come with me to the office, I'm sure I can find something for you to do-"

"No, I don't feel like it today." I give him my best attempt at a smile, "Thanks, though."

I stand, set my cup of coffee on the table, and walk back up the stairs to my familiar room that was so boring compared to ours back at Inanis's place.

His. It was only his room now.

Angry, I slam my fist on my pillow, and it takes all I have not to scream.

How did I end up basing all of my joy around a boy?

I need a job. Maybe I should go to college.

All I know, is that I am never dating again.

I close my eyes, feeling the weight in my chest that was heavy heartbreak. It was hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to do anything but sit still and silently mope about every shitty decision I've made in the last few months.

Inanis was a shitty decision. I shouldn't have come back that time my father came to get me. I shouldn't have let myself care.

I wipe the tears from my eyes, angry at myself for crying again, and somehow, I fall asleep.

The weight is still there when I'm shaken awake by my father, who looks pale and is struggling to catch his breath, like he had run up the stairs in seconds, "Mirea, wake up, wake up right now."

I blink several times, trying to wake my body up and comprehend what is happening, "What's wrong?"

"The Bone Cutter announced the name of his next victim."

The Bone Cutter. Not Inanis. My father doesn't even want to say his name. "Okay?"

"Mirea, he said yours."

I stared at my father, and everything sunk in. The fear radiating off my father, surrounded me, and I begin to feel it too.

I threw the blankets off me, and ran out of my room. I dashed down the stairs back into the living room, and grabbed the remote to the tv. I rewound Inanis's announcement back to the beginning, and I watched.

The cheers for him were familiar, and as he walked onto the stage a sharp pain lurched through my chest. My heartbeat quickened, as I realized this was the first time I've seen him since our argument.

God, he was beautiful.

"Hello everyone." His smile was obviously an act, and I realized by further inspection, that he looked exhausted, more than I have ever seen him before. Nobody else would notice it, but I know him, and I know something is off. "Today I will be announcing the next execution, by your vote."

A man suddenly runs on stage, something so out of the ordinary for such a scripted and thought-out monthly routine. Inanis was great at masking is expressions, though I could see through body language, as he took a confused step back while facing the man.

That told me even he didn't know what was going on.

The man handed him an envelope, and left the stage. Inanis's eyebrows creased, as he opened the envelope, and pulled out a white paper. He read it, his body still and his face unreadable. When he was finished, he folded the paper back up, and stared up at the crowd.

Leaning forward to the microphone, with the most monotone, emotionless tone I'd ever heard him use, he says, "It seems my next subject will be Mirea Dhalmi, my now ex-wife."

Gasps erupted throughout the crowd. You can tell absolutely no one was expecting this. Hearing my name didn't strike fear in me like it probably should. All I could think about is one thing; I can see Inanis again.

I'm not sure if he'd be able to go through with killing me or not. This whole situation was unexpected, but, not entirely surprising.

My father is standing beside me, "Mirea, I don't understand, I thought you said he wouldn't choose you."

"It doesn't look like he did."

"Mirea he read your name!"

"And he seemed surprised about it!" I turn to my dad, "I don't think this was his idea."

"Why are you defending him? He tried to kill me, now he's going to try and-" He cut himself off, clearly upset about the idea of his daughter being the subject to Inanis Messor on stage.

"I'm going to try and talk to him, dad."

"Do you think you'll change his mind? Mirea, he's a Bone Cutter, he trained his whole life for this, he's not going to give it up for a girl he's only known for a few months. I love you, you know that, but that's not how real life works."

My father's words were sour, but, he was right. Inanis's life was his job. I can't imagine him without the Bone Cutter's title. He wouldn't know who to be without it.

Still, I had to try. I don't really have any other option.