《The First Flame》139. Waiting on the Sky to Change
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Arylos took a deep breath as he stood before the line of white graves, giving a silent prayer to those who died in the fight against Tyranny. He knew that these souls would not forgive him, yet he found peace for himself by silently praying for it. He counted the graves before him, the hundreds of bodies that lay interred in the ground. He knew that most of the headstones were for the families; in many of these graves, only parts remained if anything remained at all.
Arylos felt ashamed of himself as he slowly went to his knees and rested his hand on the freshly tilled soil. Once more, his ancient war came to this world that had nothing to do with it. Once more, others were caught in the crossfire of a battle that should have been for him. Once more, others were given the gift of death that had been meant for him. He had no sadness for the fallen; only a shame that he was the one who walked away.
Arylos slowly rose to his feet as he continued through the lines of graves, running his hand on the white headstones as he walked along. He wondered what future awaited these people had fate been kinder to them. He wondered about the young lovers separated by death, the children slain before the peak of their lives, the families broken apart by the veil of the afterlife.
Arylos wanted to know more about the lives lost while trying to keep his grief at bay. As he walked through the lines of graves, he found the grave he had been looking for. A simple white headstone with only a name and no other information.
Ner’seis.
Arylos knelt down in front of Nerseis’s grave and took a handful of the soil in his hand. He felt at peace, knowing that the young man would no longer suffer, but he knew there was no soul left of him; the Eikon burned out everything that he was. Yet, this simple grave would offer what remained some kind of peace. Arylos only wished that he could have done something to stop it; so that he could have died as Nerseis and not as Reyz.
Arylos set the soil back down on the grave and bowed his head, letting his grief come to him. Yet the pain embraced him differently. It was not the pain of loss nor the pain of death. It was a deeper pain, a mental pain that broke his spirit rather than his heart.
It was the pain of failure.
Arylos failed to help Nerseis. He failed to pull him back from the brink. And he failed to save him from the Eikons. Nerseis’s dying words came to Arylos “And yet the gods made the demons stronger than man; and so I must become a demon to kill one.” The words burned Arylos, reminding him just how much Nerseis hated him in death. Arylos only wanted to help, yet the man was too far gone, too blind and too angry to accept.
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“I’m sorry,” Arylos whispered softly, knowing that Reyz would have laughed. “I’m sorry that I failed you. I should have saved you, but I didn’t. It should have been me in the ground, not you.”
Arylos clenched his fist as he tried to get his grief under control again. “If you were to die, I wanted you to die as the man you were, the hero you were,” Arylos continued as he dug his nails into his palms. “I wanted you to die as how Korseis saw you; a selfless hero who would give anything for his people.”
Arylos growled as he slammed his fist into the dirt. “You were to make the ultimate sacrifice to save people, not cast them into darkness.” Arylos rubbed his eyes as he tried to control himself, failing all the while to keep his composure. Arylos continued to growl as his grief was replaced by anger, frustration towards himself as he understood his failure.
“I wanted to help you because you’re me,” Arylos growled under his voice. “I wanted to help you, to help your pain. But not all pain can be helped now, can it?”
Arylos looked at the headstone, basking in the silence of death. He knew that Nerseis would never hear his words; he might as well be talking to the headstone. Arylos rubbed his nose and cleared his throat. “I told the people here that you tried to stop Tyranny, that you tried to help them. But Tyranny corrupted you and I had to kill you. It’s a lie, I know, but maybe that lie would serve a better ending for the legend of the two brothers of the north than what the truth is.”
Arylos listened to the silence once more as; the only sound for him to hear being the waves of the distant ocean and the breeze as it ran across the field. Arylos slowly nodded, understanding that this would be the end; he had more to say to Nerseis, more to ask, yet the completeness of death assured him that he would never be able to ask those questions. No soul remained of Nerseis, his remains were nothing but a butchered corpse dissected by a machine, his undying hatred now quelled and reduced to cinder.
If only ashes were left in death, Nerseis’s ashes were set ablaze so that nothing remained.
Arylos rested his hand on the headstone and closed his eyes. “Goodbye Nerseis,” he said softly. Arylos rose up to his feet and watched the grave, half expecting Tyranny to rise up from the soil. Yet he was only met with silence as his overprotective mind made him hallucinate. Arylos secretly wondered if he would be able to leave Korseis’s body one day, to complete the cycle of death he started three thousand years ago. He wondered if someone would be able to break his body and set his soul free.
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Arylos’s thoughts were interrupted as he felt a warm hand grab his own hand, holding him gently yet firm. Arylos looked down to his side and saw Iris by his side as she examined the grave.
“I’m sorry I took so long,” Arylos said softly.
“No, it’s fine; this is something you need to do,” Iris said while shaking her head.
Arylos sighed softly as he let go of Iris’s hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as she wrapped her arm around him. “Do you think more will come after you now?” Iris asked softly.
“If they do, I will be ready,” Arylos said in a soft growl. “I will not let this happen again.”
“I know you won’t, and that makes me feel better and a little scared too,” Iris confessed as she held him tighter.
“Scared?” Arylos asked softly.
“I saw what you did when you thought he killed me,” Iris said in a soft voice. “I saw the creature that killed the Titans come back all because you thought I died. Part of me wonders what will happen the next time we’re in this situation.”
Arylos sighed softly as he pulled Iris closer and kissed her scalp. “We don’t think about that,” he said softly while rubbing her back. “Let us live for the here and now and not worry about what could be. I don’t want to spend my fifty years with you afraid of losing you again.”
“But what if they attack us again?” Iris asked softly.
“Then we fight to protect what we have; that does not mean we spend the rest of our lives in fear,” Arylos assured while pulling away from Iris and looking her in the eyes. “Those who are afraid to die will never truly live.”
Iris slowly nodded as she took Arylos by his hands and looked at the scars on his hands and his black nails. “Then let’s go home,” she said with a gentle smile.
Arylos smiled and nodded. “I’m sure we’ve kept the others waiting long enough.”
Iris giggled as she pulled Arylos along. “I’ve had to listen to Bellona complain about how we make all the plans but we’re the ones who are always late.”
“Not always,” Arylos defended in an offended voice.
“Not always but apparently enough times to annoy her,” Iris said with a scoff.
“That old woman will get annoyed by anything, I swear,” Arylos said while stifling a laugh.
“Honey, if you’re going to call her old, can you at least make sure I’m not in the crossfire?” Iris asked with a sly smile.
“You call her old more often than I do,” Arylos said with a scoff.
Iris stopped and thought for a bit before turning to Arylos and slapping his upper arm. “Shush, don’t tarnish my reputation like that.”
“It’s the truth though,” Arylos said while continuing ahead towards the city gates where a caravan of carriages awaited them. “Just like how you’re an attention seeking little girl with abandonment issues.”
Iris growled as she jumped forward as a lightning blast that knocked Arylos onto his back. As he fell, the lightning rematerialised into Iris as she pinned him down to the ground. Arylos laughed as he felt conflicted about being pinned down by Iris but could only laugh at her as she gave him a wicked smile and a wild look.
“I hate you,” she said in a soft voice.
“No you don’t,” Arylos returned with a laugh.
“Don’t I now?” Iris asked as she raised her eyebrows, leaning close towards Arylos.
“I swear, if you two don’t get a room I’m going to hurl,” a familiar voice complained, interrupting Iris before she could do anything. Arylos and Iris looked ahead and saw Bellona leaning against one of the carriages with a disappointed look on her face.
Eir then popped out of the window with a pillow covering her face but leaving her judgemental eyes exposed. “Perverts,” she growled under her breath as her eyebrows narrowed.
Arylos and Iris looked at them then back to each other before busting out laughing in unison. “Come on then, big boy,” Iris said as she got off of Arylos and gave him a hand to pull him up. “They want us to get a room and it’s going to be a long ride back to Sentoraya. I think Keratos’s carriages will do nicely.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Bellona said with a disgusted gasp.
Arylos chuckled as he let Iris pull him back up. “Hey, all she said was ‘get a room’; she didn’t specify where. So we can be as loud as we like, right?”
“Boundaries, people, boundaries,” Bellona said as she shook her head and went back into one of the carriages.
“Perverted heathens,” Eir growled as she lowered herself, hiding from view.
Arylos laughed for a moment before Iris grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards the carriages. “Come on, let’s go home now,” she said with a big smile that stirred Arylos’s soul. Arylos let himself be pulled along by the human girl, ready to go wherever she would take him. He couldn’t help but be lost in her gravity once more as he remembered the life he has now and was more than grateful for it.
“Yes, let’s go home,” Arylos whispered in agreement, happy to say the words.
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