“What’s happening?” shouted ‘Arry.

“Power failure,” said Niall. “There’s a tiny bit left in the battery but it won’t last long. We will just about make it to Crawk.”

“Great…” muttered Jake. “Just where I wanted to go.”

They sailed along slowly, Niall powering the ship on and off just to carry it in the right direction, but in general he just let it float. Eventually Jake saw the familiar dusty plains of Lapine Death Corps sail into view.

“Ahhh, we’re home already…” said Jaska. “I thought we’d get a bit longer on our honeymoon though Jakey.”

“Honeymoon?” asked ‘Arry. “You’ve married one of them? You really ‘ave settled in ‘ere, I knew you were one of them, you really did start this war didn’t you?”

“No, I swear! I didn’t mean to, it was a trick! I’m on your side!” He looked around in desperation. The only friendly eyes he could find were Jaska’s. “Honeymoon?” he whispered. “But we’re not married?”

“We are,” said Jaska. “Any couple who leaves Crawk together become married. It’s an ancient rite, I told you about it ages ago. You are such a romantic. Jakey.”

Jakey was dumbstruck. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. He’d only just got used to the fact that he could talk to a girl. Marriage?! He couldn’t deal with it.

All thoughts about his disastrous inter-personal relationships were banished temporarily by a cry from Niall.

“Hold on tight guys, here we go!”

There was a judder as Niall used the last of the remaining power to vaguely right the ship. It bounced and skidded along the ground, eventually sticking and stopping in a huge rut it created.

“Everyone ok?” shouted ‘Arry.

He ran down the corridor and opened all the doors, including the one to the cold, dusty and misty outside world.

“Everyone out!” he cried. He turned to Jake with a look of extreme warning on his face. “We’re still going in to finish this war off, Jake. But we’re in Jake country now. Prove to me where you’re from.”

This was not the kind of situation that Jake’s self-prescribed exclusion from society aimed for. Being forced to lead the infiltration and destruction of the Crawkling war effort was bad enough, but as soon as he got back there, he was their Crawk-King, Leader of War.