It was only the second year of middle school when my body started to develop faster than the rest of the girls'. Magnified with good makeup, the beauty was such that every guy in the school fell at my feet. They wouldn't stop declaring their wild love toward me, which I rejected gracefully.

Only one person was worth my attention: Shō, the most popular guy in the entire school. I didn't like him because of that, I liked him because he was handsome, smart, kind, and good at sports; a true gentleman.

Just like me, he played hard to get, making me want him more. I knew jumping straight at him wouldn't work, so I took it slow to show him how attractive I was. My brain might've been lacking a bit of agility, but the rest was a ten out of ten.

The battle continued for the last year and a half of middle school. I managed to join his tight circle of friends. We had many outings to many different places in the city, allowing us to get closer and closer.

Being close to him also allowed me to find out which high school he would attend without looking desperate. Most of his circle of friends even made it into the same class.

Time was flying by. I knew I had to make my move before it was too late, but I kept delaying it out of fear. I didn't want to be rejected and destroy the relationship that had taken so long to build. That's when I realized how dumb I was. There was no way he would reject me.

I set a date to ask him out. Meanwhile, I dropped a few clues for him to see I was coming for him so my declaration wasn't out of nowhere.

Everything was sailing smoothly until one of our outings to the mall. Shō brought a girl I already didn't like: Miwa. She was cute but nowhere near my level of beauty. However, Shō introduced her as the smartest girl in the grade.

It didn't take a degree for everyone to notice the playful glances he gave her. He also kept talking to her despite her barely saying a word.

Feeling threatened, I scrapped the plan to ask Shō out and arranged a new one: to get rid of Miwa. I knew her self-esteem was down on the floor, so it was obvious what I had to do.

My friends and I targeted her throughout the entire first year of high school. Unlike what we did to pesky girls, we treated her as a friend to show her her place. We showed her that being smart was her only good quality and nothing else. No matter how hard she tried, she would only be seen as a smart girl.

Slowly but surely, her grades became the worst in the class. People stopped talking to her, thinking she was involved in bad things, and she even stopped talking to her best friend. Shō kept bringing her to our outings, but she wasn't the same. Instead of answering with a cute stutter, she was blunt and careless.

I had forgotten what my original plan was. I only remembered it when Shō declared his love for Miwa in the garden of the high school.

Shō told us about what he was going to do and asked us to leave them alone, yet we followed him anyway as he dragged Miwa to a secluded place in the garden during the break.

My mind went blank during his confession. Many guys had confessed to me, but none of them were anywhere near the emotion and the stubbornness I was seeing. But it didn't matter, Miwa rejected him anyway.

It didn't feel like a victory. Although Miwa kept coming to class, it was as if she wasn't there. Our group of friends slowly drifted apart. I wasn't sure if Shō had found out about what we did, yet his indifference made it obvious over time.

Still, I was determined to declare my love for him. Only one week remained before the school year ended. I didn't set a date, I merely arrived at class with the objective of speaking my heart out in front of everyone, but I was received by the most somber atmosphere I had ever felt.

The teacher asked everyone to sit down as we arrived. As much as I wanted to resist, I knew it wasn't the time.

Finally, the news was given to us: Miwa had jumped off a cliff during her weekend trip.

What was already a somber mood became heavier. My mind went from being empty to being overwhelmed in a matter of seconds. I was drowning in guilt.

I jumped out of my seat and ran to the principal's office. I didn't care that there were more people in there and let myself go.

Not only was the principal in shock, but the rest of the people in the office were also. It didn't take long for one of the guys to jump at me, just to be stopped by the other people around him and the principal. They were Miwa's family.

I wanted to say something, but no words would come to my mind. There was nothing to say. There was no excuse. It was my fault and I deserved the worst, but I wasn't ready to accept it.

I ran away from the school. I kept running until my legs gave out. My face lay on the cold pavement, yet it still was not enough to stop the tears from flowing out.

My parents eventually found me and helped me stand up. I hugged them and begged to be woken up.

It was the scariest nightmare I could ever think of. Unfortunately, it was real.