/kɛˈɹɛnsɪə/

♡♡♡

The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who win battles we know nothing about.

♡♡♡

She felt that the world got stitched together.

That all the tectonic plates underneath the ground merged together and Earth became a whole different place.

Well it did anyway to her.

The sun was extra gentle these days, the breeze the perfect speed of cool, and the night sky shimmering with its beaming stars. The Moon was beautiful too; shining more brightly than ever before.

She felt as though all the planets have aligned -something that was clearly impossible but she felt as if it was even messing with the way everything was.

It was butterflies and reckless stutters and coloured cheeks along with obnoxious giggles -Goodness gracious- and Rose couldn't even take herself seriously. It was as if she was a 7 year old kid with her first boyfriend 3 minutes after they first met.

It was just absolutely insane.

She felt giddy all the time, and her stomach was either fluttering with butterflies or igniting with fireworks. And all this just kept getting stronger by every passing day; the butterflies became more ticklish and the fireworks more tingling.

It was just insane. But she absolutely loved it.

♡♡♡

"No one can really compare with a fictional character Aiden," Except one.

Aiden scoffed. "Fictional boys any day," Rose added with a chirp.

"I think you keep forgetting that I am real and this guy isn't," Aiden broke down the sad truth to her. "And as a person, I'd prefer you kiss me rather than some filthy book."

"Aiden,"

"Fine, kiss your boyfriend." Aiden rolled his eyes. Rose tried to stay calm.

"You're filthy," Rose corrected, quirking up an eyebrow.

Aiden chuckled. "And you both are lame, I mean it so happened I spotted you both and you're reading? On a free period?"

Aaron shrugged. "What's your point?"

Aiden clicked his tongue. "My point is how about you both earn yourselves some social lives and -oh I don't know- go out?"

Aaron sighed. "If you're going to insult us on how mentally gifted we are then please leave," She could feel him lace their fingers together. "The book is getting good."

Aiden sent his friend a scowl before picking up his bag. "I have better things to do anyway." He then grinned, sending Rose a small wink. "See you at lunch darling."

Aaron clenched his hands. "God screw you." But Aiden was already walking away.

She gave their fingers an encouraging squeeze. "He's just messing around,"

He let out a breath through his mouth. He then shrugged it off before continuing to read where Aiden interrupted them at. By now they had reach Chapter 20 of Jane Eyre, and were almost done with Harry Potter.

Rose's eyes were focused on how Aaron's lips mouthed every single syllable perfectly; on how his voice was soft yet firm, and how even though he was just reading, he looked absolutely exquisite. He wore his usual black, but it seemed as though Aaron's skin glowed from within. His smiles were more delicate; his eyes more soft.

He was so perfect.

He leaned his head against the bookshelf behind them before nudging her temple with his nose. "We're almost done with Harry Potter," He whispered.

Rose smiled at him. "Yeah, we are." She nodded her head. "Hopefully we can finish it in a few days."

He licked his lips, swallowing quietly. "Do you mind coming over this weekend?" His voice was small, trembled by the smallest octave of hesitation.

Rose just beamed. "Yeah sure, no problem."

Aaron smiled. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow." He grinned lightly. "Deal?"

"Deal."

And they sealed it with a kiss.

♡♡♡

"I'm glad to see everyone has now finally accepted the existence of their partners," Mrs. Lory noted, her grey eyes glimmering in pride. "It took 3 months, but it is better than seeing you all rip each other's throat out."

Rose could see Aaron lightly chuckle beside her.

"Now for Comprehension..."

Rose's eyes were glued onto Mrs. Lory, but her mind was glued onto the spot where Aaron's elbow met her own.

They ended up solving 4 comprehension passages together; Aaron of course getting all the answers right as usual while Rose actually read the passages first. She'd glare at him every time he'd scribble down an answer when she didn't even finish the fourth paragraph -This is a group project Aaron, we do it together pea brain- and Aaron would reply with his own quirky little comments.

"Then hurry up," He said simply. "You're so slow it's aggravating."

"Who even uses 'aggravating' in regular conversations anymore?"

"Me, now give four reasons why an Ecoli bacterium is harmful."

"I'm still in question 3!"

♡♡♡

There was something wrong.

In the weeks that they were together, it was a given that Rose would find out more miraculous things Aaron hid underneath his collar. And it wasn't as if she was solely concentrating on the things he breathed into the world.

Because Rose always saw how his temple contracts as he chewed, or how his left eyebrow unconsciously lifts up every time Aiden talks about scientific nonsense.

It was all done without doing anything.

And judging from how unusually quiet Aaron was the next day, only offering Rose the smallest quirk of his lips as opposed to his dimpled smile. How his grip was a little too loose, the affliction etching itself on his sunken cheeks and masked by his eyes.

They still were the blue that they were 24 hours ago, but the sparkle in them diminished. After staring endlessly at his beautiful eyes, and even taking peeks of them during class time, Rose knew that there was something wrong.

And at lunch, it sealed her theory.

He didn't show up.

And dear God did Rose ask -Where did he go? Have you seen him Luke? What about you Chase? - and was desperate for an answer. She then excused herself before scurrying to the library.

The sight broke her heart.

And it wouldn't even look sad to anyone else. To anyone else it would've looked like Aaron was reading; to anyone else it would've looked like he was having a rather spectacular day, and to anyone else it would've looked like he was just reading to pass time.

But Rose wasn't anyone else.

She could see the effervescent twinkle of his eyes blow off to a darkened armor; could notice the shakiness of his hands as he held up the book. She could see the stiffness of his back and the tension in his shoulders. She could see the choked sobs rattling his Adam's apple as he flipped page by page.

She could see him for him.

She could see him beneath his invisibility cloak -could unravel the whispers of secrecy behind his spells of Obliviate!- could notice him underneath his layers and layers of disguises. She could make out the truth behind his lying eyes, and make out the code of his twisted words.

She learnt him.

And even though it took a lot of time to perfect, and a lot of trial and error to master - it was always just as painful every time Rose would be correct.

Because now, something was terribly, terribly wrong.

She had no idea what was wrong with her, or more like what was wrong.

It was like grey, dull clouds encompassing her sky of blue, pink, purple and orange. It was the blitzing storms of hail over her glittering sunshine. It was a ferocious hurricane in her sea of glimmering turquoise and seal. It was destruction in her harmony.

And she had no idea what to do.

But it was simple really. If Aaron was drowning in the acidic waves of life, running out of breath because of the bleak waves, Rose was going to drown with him until she dived in and saved him.

She couldn't just watch him get galloped by the hungry waves; swallowed by the darkness and lies. She wasn't about to sit idle while he was counting the seconds until his last breath was bubbles escaping his lips, when his legs and arms were slashing against the currents; trying so desperately to reach the surface.

But the problem was that Rose didn't know how to save him.

The waters looked like ink -so black, black, black- and the currents were so strong that she lost sight of Aaron's head; she couldn't see his struggling figure in the liquids of black and grey. She couldn't see him through the waters that felt like tar against her shoulders. He was in too deep and the sea weeds were already wrapped around her sore legs.

She was stuck; somewhere between the depths of the ocean and the air of the surface.

But she was going to save him.

Because she could hear his choked whispers -Rose, Rose, Rose- and that was all it took for her to take one last breath of air before she dived in like she never dived before.

She fought against the sea weeds on her feet and the algae on her arms. She ignored the dirt underneath her fingernails and the sand in her eyes.

She was swimming so fiercely against the fatal waves -she was going against nature for God's sake- her swollen feet pushing against the powerful currents. His desperate whispers were breathing over her legs -Rose, Rose, Rose- leaving the fiery blisters against her milky skin as she continued.

And she found him.

And she saved him.

Even if hurricanes awaited her at the surface, or even if strikes of lethal lightning were prepared to be exploded her way, she was going to swish and swash her legs to get Aaron to the surface.

Because when he took his first gasp of air, she didn't care if she was going to exhale out her last.

He just needed to be okay.

♡♡♡

She didn't care.

She didn't care that her swollen legs burned with agony every time she moved; that her finger tips were stained with blisters; that her cuticles were ripped and wounded.

That her lungs were filled with water; that her throat ached with acid every time she swallowed another wave of water.

None of that mattered.

What mattered was that Aaron was taking his first breaths of air, that he was coughing out the malignant waves of water, the colour seeping back into his skin.

What mattered was that he was alive even though she was half dead.

And when she caught sight of his blood shot eyes, she could feel a smile ease her features. And when he gave her a small smile back, it was as if nothing ever happened.

The water in her lungs drained out and the muscles of her throat soothed. Her legs were her legs; blisterless and smooth.

Aaron was worth it.

He was worth the sore feet over, and the trembling hands against. He was worth the purple lips and clattering teeth.

And Rose could never give up on something so valuably worthwhile.

♡♡♡

Aaron wasn't a steady pen or a sturdy hand. He was always so much more than that. He was the kind of person that made you believe beautiful people do exist.

He was a universe of his own, folded and tucked beneath layers and layers of secrets. He had miracles and magic underneath his arms, understanding and gentleness flowing through his blood.

And even though Aaron said he never believed in witchcraft, Rose always thought he was a magic of his own.

He was a compassionate soul when they touched; his fingertips the gentlest blow of wind against her skin. And everything would feel like magic when his hot skin met her burning one; relishing in the explosion of warmth the two of them were emitting.

Rose would always be surprised whenever she felt the tenderness behind his kisses; a kind of softness she never knew Aaron could perfect. For when Aaron kissed her, he made Rose feel like he was kissing the most important person in the world. And that was a big deal to Rose.

Aaron was simply Aaron. The boy with bewitching eyes, and with a beautiful heart. He might have the broken bits just like the rest of us, but Rose loved those bits as much as she loved everything else about him.

♡♡♡

"You know Rose, you'd be dateable if you lost some weight." Emette's catlike smirk pounded against her skull, his words feeling like pincers against her chest.

She just ducked her head before she continued walking. But not before she heard him add, "But don't worry, I like thick girls."

Rose just decided to leave Aaron alone for now, she was assembling a plan to cheer him up anyway. But it didn't make her feel any better now that Emette was here.

She was surprised when she saw him walk away - he normally would stick around for at least 4 more insults before he laughed and went off.

She felt relieved, but that didn't stop the tears from burning the back of her eyes.

Rose was curvy.

And she never liked it.

She didn't know why she just couldn't come to peace with her body, but being curvy reminded Rose of a lot of things.

It reminded her of her cheekbone-less smiles. It reminded her of the hipbones that weren't as pronounced as she would like them to be. Of a random curve on her back - a curve that girls were not suppose to have. It constantly notified Rose of the layer of skin where a prominent bone should be. The flesh and meat tangling together on where a gap is suppose to be.

And sometimes, it sucked.

But then again, Rose was Rose. The girl who had to think twice about wearing a pair of shorts or a skirt. The girl who had to wear this to hide that, and the girl who always looked longingly at girls' amazing legs.

She hated feeling enormous, but it wasn't something anyone could stop.

And along with her enormous figure, came gigantic comments to match. Big Nerd. Hip-face. Fatass. Thunder thighs. She's been called almost everything. But it subsided nowadays, only receiving snickers from Emette.

She didn't know whether the people matured, or if the ignoring the curvy nerd was the new trend. She was just waiting for it to all go back.

But then she thought about Aaron like she always did.

She never told a soul about the name calling and quite frankly it wasn't something that was too bad to be even worth whining about, but it was also because they always seemed to do it when no one was around. Some of them were even Chase's friends on the football squad and dear Rose didn't have the heart to come between them like that.

And she hoped -Good Lord she hoped- none of them would blurt anything out now - at least just not in front of Aaron.

Because she didn't know if she was going to die with the embarrassment or dissolve with it.

It helped that she didn't see Aaron for the rest of the day.

♡♡♡

Rose always became afraid when she wouldn't be able to control herself. It could be any control really: self control, feels over a fictional character, her emotional grip on herself. But it really frightened her on when she'd lose control over Aaron.

But she always had.

Sometimes Aaron made it so hard for her to contain her emotions -Oh my God, God, God-and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. Like the times when Aaron smiled one of his sleepy, tired smiles or the times when his blue eyes would gleam with sapphire and emerald - those were the times Rose could literally feel herself wearing away.

At other times, she'd feel like Aaron was purposely trying to kill her, like every time he'd flash her his customary dimpled smile.

Rose was just afraid one day she'd take it too far. Or even think about going too far.

Because whatever Aaron did, Rose felt she could do something back. Like if Aaron smiled at her, she wanted to run her fingers down his arms and link his fingers with her own. Or when he would lean down to kiss her; she wanted her hands to go to his shoulders, his chest, his neck. Everywhere.

Or even if he was just standing there with his hands on both his bag straps, doing absolutely nothing, Rose wanted to pull him by his straps closer to her.

She just couldn't control this sack of Bzzzz and Braaang that exploded inside her every time.

She'd tell herself that she was becoming clingy, that Aaron would probably get annoyed, and that was all it took for her fingers to retreat. All it took for her hands to stay on his face when they kissed.

Rose was fine with it, she really was, but sometimes she was just scared on what might happen if she didn't stop herself.

♡♡♡

Love isn't just the tears pooling at the slope of children's eyes at their sick mother. It isn't the dreading panic that hammers your stomach when you see your little brother trip over.

It isn't that much only.

Love is the extra tight hand grips on tough days, the gentlest squeeze of their fingers as a loud whisper of I'm here and You'll be okay.

It's the daily kisses on the forehead and the quick I love you! before rushing out the door. Quick, but just as passionate.

People throw away the word love around like it's a word that will go down in time, that its colours will fade into greys and blacks, that it isn't something worth talking about.

But love is care, selflessness, anger, sadness all bundled up in one word. And maybe that's why love hurts too much, because it has the entire world of emotions hiding behind its single syllable, the secrets of time and mankind tattooed on its shoulders.

Love cannot be explained in any algebraic equation or a quadratic formula. It cannot be predicted through theories and conspiracies; cannot be caught through investigations and guesses.

Love is just love. A beautiful monster. And that's the only way this world can put it into words.

Because words can't explain how Rose feels when Aaron's skin is on her own, how the sunshine trickles out of his fingertips onto her cheeks.

Love isn't something humans can spell out and find rhyming words to. It isn't something you can find the complete meaning of by googling it. It isn't something a poem can explain fully or a song can serenade its hushed whispers. You feel it.

You feel it when you drown yourself in them; breathing them in and out completely unaware that you are running out of air. It is feeling the frustration frenzying through your blood when they aren't listening. It is feeling the tears burn the slit of your eyes when the fight seems useless and unworthy.

It is feeling the light when it is all darkness and shadow. It is believing even when everything seems so hopeless.

And love maybe as painful as songs portray it, and as hopeless like the movies are, but there was always so much more than just endless waiting and agonizing heart breaks.

Love was so many things that it made humans so curious they ended up in tears.

♡♡♡

"Crumbs," Rose cursed when she made another stair creak underneath her weight. "Get your game straight Rose or God forbid someone will just-"

"Rose?"

And Rose stumbled down the stairs.

"Dad?" Rose gave him a nervous smile as she quickly stood up. "What are you doing up this late?"

Peter raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing up this late?"