hooooooolla ITS PROVLIVITY WEDNESDAY yay

this chapter is sorta short, i mean, it has meaning to it but its really short bc I haven't had anytime to write this week and bc writers block :// so this is here for today and next week hopefully my ideas will be straight again. just beware, i dont think its even a page. anywho, enjoy xoxox

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niall's p.o.v

"Niall?" David ask, joining me outside. "Is everything alright?"

I've been scratching my forearms raw and reviewing the conversation in my head over and over and over again. I've made a terrible mistake. He properly thinks I'm a weird or a clingy fellow. Or both.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," I start walking towards my flat quickly, I feel disgusted and absolutely horrid about myself; not just the emotional way, physical too. My hands touched tables that are never properly washed and I ate food outside of my flat. Who knows what it could have actually been. And David told me just to leave our plates for the waiters to clean it up making my anxiety rocket as it was so hard to leave that table unclean.

"Niall? What's wrong?" I can heard David catching up before getting in sync with my steps.

"I need to get, to get home," I try to keep my stuttering to a minimal, wanting to get home so badly and for everyone to leave me alone for the rest of the day. "Just let me, let me get home, home."

Everythings a mess. Everything is screwed up. I can suddenly feel a panic attack arising; my palms sweating, taking quick breaths, and I can feel my heart beating in my chest, almost as if its going to burst. I feel conscious of everything around me but yet I'm not paying attention. I can faintly hear David shouting to me as I pick up my pace and sprint towards my flat.

I don't even bother going up the elevator and decide to take the stairs, two steps at a time. When I get to the 3rd floor, I shakily reach into my pocket, taking out the keys and jamming it into the lock, twisting and running in. I see Bonnie barking frightfully, little hairs sticking up on the back of her neck. Instead of relief of being in my flat, I feel even worse.

There is piles of poop everywhere and I have no idea how she can poop so quickly and so many in a short period of time. The pillows that used to be neatly on the couch are now thrown to the floor, shredded with feathers everywhere. From my position, I can see scratch marks on most of the furniture.

I scream.

I drop to my knees and hold my head in between my hands; screaming, crying, choking.

My chest tightens as my body shakes with the sobs wrenching through my chest. I can't see clearly anymore with the tears.

A strong grip embraces me, holding my head to their chest, calling my name and repeatedly saying, it's okay, it's okay, breathe, Niall.

After several minutes, may be hours, I finally relaxed, though the person holding me rocks themselves back and forth, almost lulling me like a baby. It's so relaxing, I feel as if I may fall asleep.

"Did you know that cows go into a hug machine before getting slaughtered?" I realize the voice as Davids. I was hoping it was somebody elses but David is just as good.

"Huh?" I look up at him as I rub my eyes.

"A hug machine. It's a box the cow goes in and the box compresses the cow softly, acting as a hug. It's used to calm down the cow before they get killed. It's works on humans too, the compression."

"How do you, how do you know this, this?" I ask. It makes sense though, how it calms you down. For me it just feels like a sense of security.

"My father used to work on a meat farm," David says tensly before continuing, "c'mon, go take a shower and i'll clean up the rest."

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a.n

idek about this, it was so short. but i hope it was okay.

stay fabulous, my friends.x