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nialls p.o.v.

"How are you feeling today, Niall?"

I sit on the therapist couch, squeezing my sweater with my hands. My first day of therapy. I've decided not to respond at all to him, not wanting to be apart of therapy overall. I agreed to take the pills, shouldn't that be enough?

"You're going to have to talk to me at some point, you know." He says smugly, like he knows everything already. Well, you don't know everything, buddy 'ol pal.

I huff and cross my arms, bending over to stare at the floor. I plan to stay like this the entire time. I will not tell him anything. This is my rebellion (which I never got the chance to experience).

60 minutes had passed and I was finally done with Dr. Michael. I didn't say a word to him whilst I was walking out the door. In fact, I didn't say a word to anyone. This just might be my new strategy.

Even though it was only February, today seemed warm. The snow was still there but it still felt warm, like the air had shifted over night. It was nice change.

I walked into my flat, expecting some type of noise; any noise. I thought I'd hear the telly from the living room but instead got nothing. I delved further into the flat, calling out. When I reach my bedroom, I see him laid out on the bed, his limbs spread out like a starfish.

"Harry?" I say softly. He giggles in response, scrunching up into a ball. He then pops up out of bed and almost skips over to me. He gets so close to me, I can see how dialated his pupils are. "Whats wrong, wrong with you, with you?"

"Oh Niall, I love yer eyes." He slurs, smiling lopsided. "I love yer happy pills."

He took my anti-depressants. "How many did, how many did you take, take?" He holds up his fingers and squints, counting up to 10 fingers. Hes high. "We need to take, take you to the hospital, hospital right now, right now." He shakes his head and plops down on the ground, pouting.

"You stay, I stay." He claims, latching onto my leg. He smiles proudly to himself.

I huff and am about to refrain from that idea before I look down at him and see him looking up at me with his green eyes, all doe eyed. And that pout he wears, it makes my heart melt. "Cuddle with me?" He says, leaning his head against my thigh. I couldn't believe he said that. Well, he is high.

Next thing I know, I'm laying in his bed with him curled up into my side. His head rest on the top of my stomach, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist and his legs tangled with mine. My heart skips a beat every time he just takes a breath. Hes so beautiful. Right now, I don't even care if he thinks im faking, I don't care if hes been rude and unkind to me, all I care about is how this is what I've been imagining since I first saw him. The way his curls rest on top of his head, I just want to touch them. Those hands, they must be so soft and large, so large they can envelope mine in his. His touch is so warm and gentle. All my fears have diminshed. All the thoughts about how dirty he and his bed must be, just don't even cross my mind. Until now, that is. But, I still don't care.

"My grandmother died," he says abruptly. My heart sinks. Thats why he took the pills. "I have to go back to England for the funeral." He clutches my sweater in his hands, nuzzling more into me with his head. "I don't want to go but I want to see her one last time."

I say nothing, for I'm sure he will forget this in the morning and also because I don't know what to say.

"You're all I have left." He states, looking up at me with those eyes. I still stayed silent even though those five words broke me yet put me back together.

I take a chance and run my shaky hand through his curls, his eyes closing in pleasure. I sigh in relief, closing my eyes as well. I fall sound asleep with him in my arms.

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I wake up in the middle of the night to Harry scrambling out of bed. I rub my eyes, my joints cracking as I shuffle my way to the bathroom, where Harry was heading. I found him hunched over the toilet which makes me incredibly queasy and sick to my stomach. I immediately rush to his room and take off all the covers, rushing to the wash. I come back with clean sheets and put them back on but not before I spray disinfectant on the bed. I shiver slightly, going back into the bathroom with towels and soap.

Harry lays with his head pressed against the counter, slightly drooling and panting heavily. His skin is glistening in sweat. I press a cold cloth to his forehead, also wiping the drool from the side of his mouth. I flush and clean the toilet multiple times. I then tend to Harry; poor Harry.

"Water... please," He says, squinting up at me. I go to the kitchen and come back with a glass of water to find him with his eyes closed. I poke him and he opens his eyes back open slowly. He takes the glass and gulps it down in seconds. He closes his eyes again and whispers my name, mumbling. I get down on my knees beside him but, he's asleep before I can blink.

What am I gonna do?

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a.n.

yes, there are going to be more late updates but i am honestly trying, i swear :((

im very sorry for the wait, ugh, i love writing but i cant seem to get the want to write, but that doesnt mean i will stop.

aight make sure to follow my insta bc im more active on that account

humble.harold

until next time...