30 Days with Fina by JellOfAllTrades

Chapter 12

I opened my eyes to the ceiling of my plain sky blue room. Sunlight is pouring from the partly opened blinds so I knew by the angle that it must be almost noon. I sat up from the bed and immediately held my head.

"Damn."

When you're used to the alcohol, your alcohol tolerance heightens, and since I'm a party goer in Manila, my tolerance is unbelievably high. But last night, apparently, I managed to get hold of more than twenty beer bottles to get me this kind of pounding hangover.

Rubbing my eyes, I looked at myself in the mirror and was surprised that it turned around, facing the wall.

"What the--?"

I don't remember turning it around last night...But then again, I don't remember most of what happened last night. I had way too much fun with the drinks.

Thinking about turning it back around to get a look of myself, I stood up and stepped on a basin of cold water. A wet looking cloth by its side. I shook the water off my feet and took a step away from it.

A memory of last night flashed into my head. The cold black sky speckled with stars, the quarter moon, the crashing of waves into the seawall, the distant murmur of workers in the dock, and a faint call of my name.

"What the hell happened last night?"

Decided that somebody else has been to my room, I looked around and found that my blouse from last night is carefully swung on the back of the chair of the study table in one corner of the room and that the shoes I'm wearing last night are neatly placed beside the door. On the bed, on top of the duvet, by the end is one of my t-shirts, still folded and unused. It must have been taken out for me to use as a change.

I looked down on myself and saw that I'm still wearing the same tank top, pants, and socks from last night. Although my watch, bracelets, and rings have been removed and are now placed by the bedside table, along with my cellphone and wallet.

Seeing my slick black cellphone, another memory from last night flashed into my head. I was typing a text message to someone but I don't remember what was in the message or who did I sent it to. Deciding that I want to know, I grabbed my phone and looked at my sent messages.

(Sent 1:49am):

Fina, wer r u?

"Oh fuck."

I checked the call logs and found that I called Fina several times last night, only getting her to answer the last one after I sent the text message.

Stripping the socks off my feet and throwing them to the bed, I left the room and looked for my brothers and cousins.

I found Kuya Ken having coffee in the dining area.

"Kuya!"

"Oh, gising ka na pala. Magkape ka muna, lasing na lasing ka kagabi." He offered.

"Pano ako nakauwi kagabi?" I asked, hurriedly.

"Ewan ko sayo."

"Anong ewan?"

"Umalis ka, sabi mo may tatawagan ka lang sa labas tapos di ka na nagpakita ulit. Nung sinundo kami ni Dad ng 2:30 sabi nya nakauwi ka na daw."

"Asan si daddy?" I asked.

"Nasa garden."

I ran outside to the garden and found dad sitting on the wooden garden bench with mom, both of them are deep in conversation while holding glasses of cold orange juice.

"Dad," I called, walking up to them.

"Oh, Jell. Gising ka na pala." Dad mused. "Kumain ka na ba?"

"Hindi pa." I shook my head. "Pano ako nakauwi kagabi?"

"Inuwi ka nung kaibigan mo. Si Fina Romulo." Mom answered for dad.

I stood there, frozen.

"H-how?"

"Sabi niya tumawag ka daw sa kanya, nagpunta ka ng Letter C magisa, lasing na lasing. Ayun, since alam niya daw kung saan ka nakatira, hinatid ka na niya. Baka daw kasi mapaano ka." Dad answered.

"Mom, hindi naman kasama sa usapan 'to diba?" I excused. "Diba sabi mo bawal ako maguwi ng babae, hindi bawal na ang babae ang maguwi sakin?"

Mom just looked at me sternly and my heart is pounding faster than ever. My car! My precious silver baby car!

"Kahit na, Jell, nagsama ka pa rin ng babae sa bahay."

"Wala namang nangyari samin eh!" I said. "Kaibigan ko lang yung si Fina. No-touch nga ako dun eh!"

But just as I said that another memory from last night flashed into my head. A sky-blue room, Fina helping me out of my blouse and taking my shoes off of me, Fina talking about mirrors in the room while one is sleeping and Fina wiping me with a wet cloth as I lay in bed.

"Ma, mabait si Fina, saka straight yun! Hanggang friends lang talaga kami!"

I winced as my head throbbed painfully and for a split second I saw another memory that I can't believe I actually did.

"Ayos ka lang, Jell?" Mom inquired, holding my arm to keep me steady.

"Dad, hinayaan nyo bang tulungan ako ni Fina?" I asked, almost a whisper.

"Oo, mapilit ka eh, ayaw mo siyang bitawan kaya tinulungan ko siyang dalhin ka sa kwarto mo." Dad answered. "Inalagaan ka niya hanggang sa umalis nalang sya ng mag-aalas dos. Sabi nya nakatulog ka na daw at kailangan na niyang umuwi. Hinatid ko siya pauwi sakanila since on the way naman siya sa pagsundo ko sa mga kapatid at pinsan mo."

I nodded but quickly regretted it as the world suddenly spun.

"Jell, Mom said worriedly.

"Hangover," I murmured. "Maliligo lang muna ako."

I excused myself from them and went back up into my room. I grabbed the t-shirt on the bed and some other change of clothes before going to the bathroom.

When I opened the shower I welcomed the cold splash of water on my face. The prickling pain of hangover subsided a little and moved aside for a different kind of pain. Emotional-Mental pain.

"Fuck, Jellane. What have you done?" I whispered to myself as the last memory of last night flashed into my head.

I kissed her. I kissed Fina while she was wiping my face. That's why she ran away and left the water basin by the bed. That's why she didn't manage to help me with changing to a clean t-shirt.

I kissed her and she ran away.

I finished the shower and went back to my room. I grabbed my phone and dialed Fina's number. I waited for her to pick it up but it never came. Several times did I call her until she shut her phone off and I couldn't get to her.

"I need to talk to her," I mumbled to myself in the mirror. "I need to freaking talk to her!" I pulled on my hair frustratedly.

I went downstairs and was on the way out when Mamita called for me in the dining area.

"Mamita?"

"Jellane, maupo ka muna dito." Mamita offered the seat across her.

I noticed that she was sitting with two other men, looking professional in their white long sleeves, clean haircuts, and thick glasses.

"Jellane, these are engineer Raymond Dela Cruz and architect Julian Calabia. Pinadala sila ni Janus as a contribution to the building of the school."

"Mamita, may kakausapin kasi akong iba ngayon, can we do this some other time?" I excused.

"Ano ba yun? May kinausap ka bang iba pang property owner?" Mamita asked.

"No."

"Then I don't think whatever you're going to do is more important than this," Mamita said with finality. "We need your help with the new design for the school."

The architect, Julian Calabia, stood up and showed me a map of the site and the nearby properties.

"This is an outline of the site area, and according to Mrs. Folloso, you're acquiring the 800 square meter lot on the eastern side of the site." He said, pointing at the map.

Sighing, I approached the map and took out a red marker. I traced a line around the property that Mayor Entienza is selling me.

"There," I muttered. "That's an estimated 800 square meters."

I stood up straight and faced Mamita. "Can I go now?"

"Mr. Calabia! Engr. Dela Cruz! Andito na pala ulit kayo." A voice rang out and I turned to see my mom and dad entering the dining area.

They shook hands with the two men and sat down with Mamita.

"So, may plano na ba kayo?" Mom asked Mr. Calabia.

"We're still on the drafting process the new plans." Mr. Calabia said. "Yung bago po bang building gusto niyong katulad din ng design ng naunang plans?"

They turned to look at Mamita and she, in turn, looked expectantly on me.

"What do you think, Jellane?" She asked me.

I frowned. There was something different from the way she said my name this time. If at first it was somewhat like a joke to her, now it sounded caring and delicate.

"M-me?" I dumbly pointed at myself.

"Since ikaw ang naka-acquire ng lupa, sayo ang bagong building."

"S-sakin?" I choked.

"Yes. You deserve it." Mamita said, taking a sip of her tea.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw my parents smile proudly at me. But there's something wrong.

"Mamita, can I talk to you alone?" I declared.

Mamita looked taken aback by my request but she quickly recovered.

"Yes, of course. Can you give us a minute?" She asked the others.

My parents and the two men nodded and gathered their stuff before leaving us alone in the dining area.

"Mamita," I started, "what are you doing?"

"I'm giving you the credit that you rightfully deserve."

"No, Mamita, what I mean is that hindi nyo na ipapatanggal itong piercings ko?"

Mamita stared at me for a full minute before she expelled a deep breath and shook her head.

"Hindi na, Jellane." She said.

"I..uuhh...Mamita, I know this sounds somewhat ridiculous pero...tanggap niyo ba kung ano ako?"

I felt tense waiting for her answer.

"Hindi ko alam, Jellane."

"Mamita," I muttered, feeling my heart being stabbed by a sword. I wished and hoped that after what I did yesterday I have finally gained her acceptance. But apparently, doing what she wants--even better than what she expected--isn't enough.

There was silence as we both stared downwards. I haven't really cried for a long time now, but today I feel the sting of tears at the back of my throat. I pushed it away and thought that I will never let her see that I'm in pain. If she can't accept me, then I won't care about it anymore.

"Sige na, Mamita, tawagin ko lang sila and let's get this planning finished." I said in a businesslike manner. "I need to go out later."

I called the others in the living room back to the dining area to discuss the school plans. Mamita was back to her usual self as if she wasn't shaken by our talk.

As we discussed matters at hand, I remember one of my professors in Manila. He once excused me in class right before my reporting and told me that I failed in his subject. He said that even if I do great in the report it can never change my grades, that I still failed. When I returned to the classroom and went up front I managed the ultimate poker face I've ever done. I've never failed before and that hurt me. But I managed to suppress my feelings of anger and frustration as I delivered my report in front of the class.

"Sometimes," I remember him saying to us, "something happens in our personal lives right before we do something important in our professional lives and it triggers an emotional response from us." He stood up from his seat in the back of the room and joined me in front of the class. "I know someone who received news that their father just died right before an important meeting. He said he can manage it but he broke down in front of the board of directors making him look not only pathetic but also unprofessional."

He patted my shoulder and said to the class. "Earlier I said to Ms. Ramos that she failed this class knowing full well that she has never had a grade lower than 85."

I remember feeling nervous that day, but my professor smiled comfortingly at me. "I saw earlier that she's almost at tears before her reporting, but did you saw her confidence waver while she was talking?"

Everybody shook her head that day. And my professor even smiled more, patting me on the shoulders again.

"Ms. Ramos is the perfect example of the beast that I want my students to be." He said to the class. "I hurt her and yet she didn't show that to me or to any one of you while she's in front."

I remember him walking to the middle of the class and said. "The man I was talking about earlier? The one who cried in front of the board of directors? No one showed him mercy and fired him on the spot. I don't want any of you to be like him. I want you to be like Ms. Ramos there." He pointed at me. "I want you all to be a beast. Because in the corporate world, only beasts can survive. "

Before he let me back to my chair he announced to the room that I got the highest grade in the class and never again did I let my feelings get into the way of my work. That's one of the reasons I managed to get so many girls in Manila. I worked with them without any feelings attached. Just lust.

This is just like what my professor had told me. If Mamita hurt me earlier, I didn't show her that. I conversed with them in a businesslike manner, suppressing my feelings and thinking rationally.

And that lesson is exactly why I'm panicking with my position with Fina now. Because it's quite obvious that I failed to put her in line with the 'no feelings attached' girls I had in Manila.

The kiss that I gave Fina last night, despite being drunk, is different from all the kisses I've made before.

Because I have given Fina a sincere kiss.

--------------------------------------

A/N:

Sometimes I scare myself with the background I managed to make for my characters. Jellane is a perfect example of it. I started with a lesbian casanova (although I hated this kind of stereotyped character) her background expanded to how she is in school, how she interacts with her brothers, cousins, and other relatives, and how materialistic she is, loving her car more than she loves her girlfriends. But yeah, I'm having fun writing about her because she's interesting. Makes me (and the readers) want to know how she would react to everything that is happening in her life.