From the author:

When I was writing this book, I wrote the ending when I reached the better half of the story. 30 Days with Fina has a message I want to send to my readers, a message that came from my personal experience. I figured that since this story is somewhat my own, I could put in a little more to what message I originally intended to tell. And so this alternative ending was made.

This alternative ending contains two different point of views that are shown in the original but only one is highlighted. The reason I didn't use this is because I wanted to show a much more positive ending for Jellane and Fina's story. Why this ending is slightly negative compared to the original, you decide.

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30 Days with Fina by JellOfAllTrades

Alternative Ending

Day 30

It was in the early hours of dawn when I woke up from a dream, a dream wherein Fina is with me and is healthy. It was a good dream and I partly wish it was true. If she was healthy, I would invite her to Manila because she always wanted to see the capitol city and I would tour her to the Ocean park and in Luneta. We might even go see the National Museum, I know she would love that.

Taking her cold hands into mine, I look at Fina's face and saw her sleeping. Though I noticed that her chin is somewhat bloated. I frown, maybe its from the drugs or the oxygen mask. I should ask the doctor.

I stare at her for a minute, taking the bloatness in. If she gets fat and gets a double chin, this would be what she looks like. I purse my lips, not really my type, but if its Fina we're talking about, I won't mind at all.

I squeeze her cold hands and suddenly felt that there's something wrong. I stare at Fina's chest and realized she's not moving. My heart starting to pound, I tried to feel for her pulse. Nothing.

"Fina?" I stood up, blood pounding in my ears. This can't be happening. "Fina? Gising ka muna, please?"

"Jell, bakit?" I hear Tita Nani's groggy voice from the couch.

"Tita, patawag po ng doctor?" I asked. "I think there's something wrong."

Tita Nani stood up and quickly left the room while I continued to try and wake Fina up. Shaking her cold hand and calling her name. "Fina, gising ka muna, please? Fina."

When the doctor came, I stepped away and let him do his job. He checked Fina's pulse and removed Fina's oxygen mask and listened--or maybe feel her breathing, I not exactly sure what he's doing. After that he took his stethoscope and used it on Fina.

Maybe it was denial but when he said to the nurse to prepare the defibrillator, my breathe hitched and my eyes grew wide. They won't use that unless the patient's heart has stopped.

The nurse dashed out and returned within a minute, in which the doctor has decided to perform CPR. At the nurse's return, she brought with her another doctor and the machine that I always see on movies when a character is in a near death situation. And seeing that now, in real life, to be used on Fina, I only grew terrified.

They attached those wires on Fina and the machine's screen light up. We waited for Fina's heart rate to be shown but all there is on the monitor is a flat line. Nothing.

They applied the pads on Fina's chest and shocked her, but the line didn't rose nor fell. It remained flat. They shocked her another time but it was useless. Turning away, blood pounded in my ears and I tried to block away the noise. Tita Nani's sobbing, the doctor pronouncing Fina's death at 5:26 AM and Tita Nani's pained howling for the death of her daughter.

I felt numb and hurting all at the same time and when I turned to look at Fina, she looks so peaceful and quiet in bed that she almost, almost look like she's just sleeping.

I approach her and thought how much she resembles Sleeping Beauty in her position. Her body lying straight and her hands placed on her stomach.

Blinking, I remember what she said not so long ago. "Hindi ko naman kasi favorite ang Sleeping Beauty for any petty reasons."

"Sleeping Beauty," I whispered, suddenly realizing why that corny movie is her favorite.

Moving closer to her, I ignored the people in the room and gave Fina a kiss on the lips, willing her to wake up. Wishing her to open her eyes, see me and smile and then hug me. "Please, Fina. Wake up, prove to me that 'and they lived happily ever after' exists. Wake up, please."

But she never did and I left, ignoring Tita Nani's calls.

I always tried to keep my calm. My professor told me that. To never succomb to your emotions. With this you will become a predator and never the prey because you're always composed and rational. But how am I supposed to be rational now? My mind is clouded by thoughts of FIna. Our time together, all the good and bad memories.

Minutes of walking passed but it seemed like hours to me, everyone I passed by is going on with their early morning routines, like nobody died. Well, technically, nobody did. Because to them Fina is a nobody. They never knew her and she in return never knew them. The same as I don't know them and they don't know me--well, maybe as a Folloso, but as myself, no.

The world is unfair that way. While I'm affected and in pain for the loss of Fina, those that never knew her will go on. As if the world didn't just lose a smart, kind and beautiful soul. Only us who knew Fina would mourn for her. Only us. Only me. And I hated that. Because it's like Fina didn't live at all. And the world will be like they didn't experience her greatness and soon it would forget about her. Fina doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve to be forgotten.

"Jellane!"

A voice woke me up from my reverie and I found myself being held on to by an old wrinkly hand. I blinked and recognized who called me. "Mamita,"

"Jell, umiiyak ka ba?" She asked, looking at me worriedly.

I wiped the tears that I didn't know have been falling and sniffed. "I-I'm fine."

"Jellane, anong nangyari?"

I frowned at her. Does she really care for me now? After all the rejection and disappointments? But instead of retorting to her question I ignored her and entered the ancestral house, opening the door quite strongly.

Slamming the door open caught my mom's attention as her head appeared at the kitchen doorway. "Mamita okay--Jellane! Anjan ka pala, anong nangyari?"

I ignored her and continued to my room upstairs with one thing in my mind. I have to get out of here.

Packing my clothes into my bag with a haste, I wiped away the tears that continues to stream down my cheeks.

"Jellane, anong ginagawa mo?" Mom asked, entering my room wearing that ridiculous yellow apron with a bikini wearing body printed on it.

"I'm leaving," I announced, closing the zipper so harshly that it almost broke and shouldering the bag out of the room.

Mom followed after me. "San ka pupunta?" She grabbed my bag and pulled, making me stop.

"Anywhere, just not here." I answered, not meeting her eyes.

"Jellane, ano bang nangyari?"

"She's gone!" I screamed. "She's gone and there is absolutely no more reason for me to stay in this hell hole!"

"Jellane, kumalma ka."

I snatched the bag away from her and went downstairs where Mamita stopped me. "Jellane!" She screamed that venomous voice she always reserves for grave offenders. "At saan ka pupunta?"

"Kahit saan, wag lang dito." I tried to move pass her but she caught my arm and dug her nails into my flesh.

"Hindi ka aalis!" She said with conviction.

I stood up straigh and moved closer to her. "She's gone, okay. Wala na si Fina. Masaya ka na?"

Mamita couldn't answer and mom held my other arm gently. "Jell, I'm sure you'll find another friend."

"Another one?" My blood boiled at the thought. "Is that what you think of her? Replaceable?!"

"I didn't--"

"Yes you do." I cut her off. "You think everyone's replaceable." I looked at Mamita. "And you would do anything to keep yourselves happy. Even if it meant hurting others."

I shook them off and continued to the door, ignoring their calls.

"San ka pupunta? JELLANE!" Mom screamed behind me.

"I don't know."

"Jell, please, if you're going home to Manila, sumabay ka na sa amin. Pabiyahe na kami mamayang hapon."

Home. Why does that word sound so foreign to me now? For a time I considered Calauag to be my home because of Fina. But now I realized why I survived the 30 days stay here. Its because in that short time, my home became Fina. Together with her is what home is and now that she's gone, I don't have a home anymore. Even Manila has ceased to be my home after realizing how awful a person I am there.

Mom held my shoulder and made me face her. "Jell, don't go now. We'll leave for home later."

"But Fina is my home."

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I feel empty inside. For Fina filled me and with her passing she has emptied me. Void of all emotions save for misery and pain.

"Oh, Jell." Mom wiped the tears away. "I'm sorry."

I hate this feeling of loss. It's like a part of me died with Fina and changed everything in the world. But like I saw earlier, only I felt the change. The rest of the world would not and I wish they did so I'm not the only one crying.

Fina was important to me. She made me the happiest in such a short time. I was making plans for her in the future but all of it went to waste because she died and left her parents, her friends, the children in the orphanage and she left me.

Since I met her in the Letter C, Fina managed to make my days better than all my life before her combined. In a month she has turned from nothing into my everything and now that she's gone, I have nothing.

I should have said it. I should have told her what I was feeling because now she won't be here to hear me say it. The words I once despised and promised myself I would never say to any girl ever. Why I realized it just now, maybe because I'm in denial. Because I wanted to maintain the playgirl status and that I'm afraid of the great change. Maybe I never said it because I was scared for feeling it for the first time and I'm caught completely unprepared. But I know it now, there's no denying it but nevertheless, I'm already too late. Nothing I do or say will change anything because she's gone.

"Jell, please stay."

Wiping the tears away, I smiled. "I can't."

"Jell,"

"I love her, Ma. And she's the reason I stayed. But she's gone now so I have to go."

Taking her hand off my arm, I stepped away. What happened next is a blur.

There was a beep and I hit my head against a glass wall. Something shattered. The windshield or my skull, I don't know. The last thing I remember is Fina's smiling face and everything turned black.

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30 Days with Fina by JellOfAllTrades

Alternative Ending

Day 395

Watching the green scenery of the trees and houses the tricycle passed by is what occupied my mind. Soon after that, there is a break of trees and the tricycle carefully entered the Maharlika highway. A few more seconds and it turned left to pass through the black rusty gates of Villa Felisa Memorial Park.

As the tricycle stopped near the chapel, I got out and paid the driver. He nodded at me and drove away, leaving me in the middle of the cemetery.

With a sigh, I moved, making my way through dusty tombstones, crakced statues of angels with blank eyes and several crosses sticking from the ground, wild vines starting to creep up from its base.

Back when I was younger, I used to read the names of the people I passed by, but now, I ignored them, focused only on the angel that has her wings opened up and her arms wide open and her face looking up into the blue cloudy sky.

I stopped right in fron of that angel and closed my eyes for ten seconds, letting myself remember her face, her charming smile, her cheery laugh. Her. I just paused to remember her, alive in my memories.

With a sigh, I opened my eyes and read the stone tablet at the angel's feet.

In loving memory of

Fina E. Romulo

"Her long wait is now over."

"Hi, Fina." I said, putting the flowers I brought by the angel's feet. "Long time no see."

I imagined her there, standing by the angel, looking a t me with a smile on her face. Sh was just as I wanted to remember her, looking happy and innocent.

My heart constricted at the thought of how long it has been. "Come to think of it, ang tagal na din pala, ano, Fina?"

One year. It has been one year since I last spoke to her. A year since she left and I lost my best friend.

"Ang bilis ng panahon, 'no?" I said, wondering how I managed through the past year being haunted by our memories together. "Parang kahapon lang naglalaro pa tayo sa playground."

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to stop the tears from falling and failing miserably as the tears fell down my cheeks. "Ang daya mo naman Fina eh! Sabi mo panunuorin mo akong umakyat ng stage para sa graduation ko pero di ka na umabot! Umuwi lang yang love of your life kinalimutan mo na yung promise mo sakin."

Sniffing, I wiped away the tears away, remembering how excited Fina was when she first met this Jellane kid at the east end playground. She wanted me to meet this kid but I had summer school back then having failed our grade 2 math. I remember how sad but hopeful she was when this Jellane promised to return for her next summer but next year Fina got sick and she never saw Jellane again. Ever since then I would accompany her to the seaside whenever I can. When I'm not available, Fina spent the time alone waiting reading books from the library.

When Jellane returned last year, Fina was practically jumping up and down when she told me. And it was in the Folloso house that I finally met her after just hearing about her from Fina.

Jellane Folloso-Ramos is a tall girl with short and spiky hair. Her eyes are tantalizing, her nose prominent and her smile quite captivating. Despite her multiple ear piercings, arrogant attitude and badass movements, she didn't scare me. And so, I finally understood why Fina fell for her. She was gorgeously awesome in her own way.

At Fina's last birthday, I got a glimpse of what Jellane is like with Fina. She also proved to be strong, being able to carry me at the paper dance. She was a good dancer too and I know Fina fell in love with her more when she saw her dance. Fina likes good dancers.

"Masaya ka na siguro, best." I muttered to Fina's resting place. "Nakita mo na ulit siya at nakasama sa mga huling sandali ng buhay mo."

Finally at looked at the other name that is just beside Fina's.

In loving memory of

Jellane Folloso Ramos

"She found her home."

I imagined the tall girl just beside Fina, smiling that mischievious smile at me, her arms around Fina's shoulders like they are having the time of their lives.

"Alagaan mo siya, Jellane." I said to her image. "Kung nasaan man kayong dalawa ngayon, sana masaya na kayo."

At that short time that I saw Fina and Jellane together, I knew they were in love with each other. Having read Fina's diary entires about the last summer they spent together proved that.

Fina knew what Jellane was feeling for her even if the city girl was confused. As I've read from the diary, they never said the words but their actions were enough to show it.

Jellane died in a car accident right after Fina's death and rumors spread around town that she was trying to leave Calauag in a haste. Townspeople thought Jellane wanted to get away from her strict grandmother. I, however, know that Jellane tried to get away from the pain. Fina wrote that in her diary, that Jellane hated Calauag but found a reason to stay because of her. And with Fina's passing, Jellane had no more reason to stay. That's why she tried to leave.

"Buti na lang talaga magkatabi kayo." I smiled, seeing their gravestones beside each other. "Nagkaroon pa ng chismis tungkol sa inyo kasi nalaman ng mga tao na sabay kayo at magkatabi kayo ililibing. Medyo malapit sa katotohanan ang mga kwento nila pero ako lang ata nakakaalam nun."

I let out my a sigh and made my final prayers for them. Fina and Jellane are out of pain now and hopefully, they're together now in heaven. They deserve that.

When I turned around to leave, I was surprised to see a handsome man standing just close by, looking up at the angel's face. When his sight went down to me, he smiled.

"Hi," He greeted in a husky voice. "Kaibigan ka ba ni Jell o ni Fina?"

"Best friend ni Fina." I answered, smiling shyly at him. His tall height and clean looking semi-formal clothing are enough to attract me but his eyes however are strikingly brown in the early morning sunlight and that's enough to make me have a crush on him.

"Oh, well, hello. Best friend naman ako ni Jellane." He introduced, putting a bouquet of white lilies on Fina's stone and a bouquet of sunflowers and red roses on Jell's stones.

I never knew sunflowers and red roses are good together. They seemed so oddly different, like a clash of raw cheer and hot passion. But nevertheless, it looked good and balanced.

"Jellane's quite different like a clash of sunflowers and roses." He explained, watching me. "Yan yung dalawang flowers na binibigay niya sa mga girls niya sa Manila. She never tried to put them together before but I thought she might like this."

"That explains," I muttered. "Kakaiba nga siya."

"I don't think I got your name." He asked, flashing me those pearly white teeth.

"Angel." I said. "Angelica Mercadejas."

"Nice to meet you, Angel." He shook my hand. "I'm Jaime Reynaldo."

"Nice to meet you too, Jaime"

"Would you like to get some coffee? Feeling ko may maikukwento ka sa akin tungkol kay Fina at nabaliw 'tong wingman ko sakanya." He chuckled.

I smiled. "Feeling ko may maikukwento ka din sa akin tungkol kay Jellane at nahintay siya ni Fina. Tara?"

"Tara."

He offered me his hand and together we left the cemetery, talking about our bestfriends, not knowing that our lives are about to be changed, too.