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Why is my life like this?

Within sixty seconds of opening my eyes and shutting off the screeching alarm at my bedside, I start to question my existence. Does the universe hate me? Or am I just that unlucky? Is it something I did that made whatever powers that may be angry? Or is it just all these damn cats?

Of course I'm inclined to immediately blame the cats. Before I was even awake one of them was already in a tangled mess in my hair, going to town in an attempt to destroy my already messy locks. The moment my alarm went off the one named Steve, who was sleeping on top of me, startled and used my chest as a springboard to catapult himself high into the air and across the room, where he skidded into my floor lamp, sending it crashing to the ground.

I shifted my head on the pillow to peer up at Voldemort, the last of the three little demon felines in my room, who was happily kneading my pillow case, slowly and methodically shredding it into nonexistence. Sighing heavily I wrestle the tabby cat (Madam SparklePuss) out of my hair and trudge across my bedroom, stepping over my now useless lamp and into the hall in order to get to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Twenty minutes later I'm kissing my cats goodbye (already forgiving their less attractive behavior because I cant stay mad at anything that cute) and heading out the front door for school. Once there I'm joined by my best friend, Eun-ji, who, without preamble, starts to talk about the weekend drama she'd had with her on/off boyfriend, In-guk for the last three years.

"So, like, then I saw that he's liked this bitch's instagram photos-"

"Oh my god." I replied dramatically to make it seem like I'm actually listening as I pull the needed books out of my locker. I really loved both of them and we've been friends since middle school. They're the only real friends I have, as my antisocial and typically moody self can only stand being around so many people. And half of the time I can hardly stand to be with my own friends. They know how I am and for some odd reason are still friends with me. I have no idea why.

"I know, RIGHT! So then-" her story came to an abrupt halt when she gasped excitedly and I heard her giggling as she started to aggressively poke my upper arm. I flinched and turned my head in her direction, a curse on the tip of my tongue until I followed her gaze and saw what she was giggling about. "It's your admirer!" she sang over my groan.

Kim Namjoon. I've never spoken to him. Until just a little over a month ago, I'm pretty sure we'd never even glanced in each other's direction. That was perfectly fine with me.

As stated above, I'm antisocial and prefer being on my own. Creating friendships with other people was not on my high priority list and dating and the opposite sex weren't even on said list. Not anymore. One experience was enough to put me off it for good. It's not that I hate Namjoon in particular.

It's just that I hate everyone in general.

We've barely ever spared a glance in each other's direction in our entire high school career, what with him being in a whole grade above me. But suddenly during my school hours he was everywhere I looked. Nine times out of ten his eyes were on me and I have yet to determine if he's bashful or bold. The expression he watched me with was one of fondness, a pinch of intensity and something akin to desperation? But every time our eyes would meet he'd quickly look away and I'd be lying to say I've never noticed the redness of his face.

Though I don't detect any sort of danger from him, nothing like a woman's intuition that tells me to avoid him, the stares do make me uncomfortable. I haven't the slightest idea why he's taken an interest now. I know my personality isn't the best. I can barely understand why my own friends want to hang out with me so I'm more at a loss as to why he's even interested himself in looking at me. Really, though, as much as I'm not interested I wish he would approach me already so I could reject him and the staring could stop.

Our eyes meet just as that last thought leaves my mind and I can't help but to notice that the corner of his lip lifts just the slightest hint before he looks away, pink dusting his cheeks. I shift my gaze away from the sight of his friends playfully teasing him, my own face feeling hot as I scramble to close my locker and head for the classroom.

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"Namjoon-ie." My hyung, Jin, swung an arm around my shoulders and pulled us towards home room as the bell rang. "Don't worry so much and confess already. Even if she resists at first she'll come around eventually. She is your mate, after all."

I nod though I'm not completely convinced. It's not that she's human and we're werewolves. Our particular pack had a knack for finding human mates that even the elders couldn't fully explain, and I wasn't going to argue with nature. No wolf's senses are mature enough to find their mate until they reach eighteen but that didn't mean they'd find their other half the moment it happened. Normally it would take a while. Months, years even.

For me however, it happened the following Monday after my 18th birthday when school started back. The intensity of her scent nearly knocked me over. It was everything natural and earthy and clean and on top of that something decidedly feline. I didn't have to look to know she was the one, I knew it from that one sniff. Then the second my eyes set on her, every other string of my heart that represented something important and close to it withered and a new string appeared, her, wrapping tightly around. One, two, a hundred times, and squeezing like an anaconda. Not that I was complaining.

But...like I said. It wasn't the fact that we were werewolves that was keeping me from approaching her. It wasn't like I was shy around girls. Not before her, anyway. It was that she had a...reputation. A reputation for being unapproachable.

The first time I'd seen her—really seen her had been that day. I know in the back of my mind that I'd seen her face before but it had never registered. The thought was baffling to me now. My wolf side wasn't fully mature enough to recognize it yet but how could I have never noticed someone who smelled that good and looked that cute?

Y/n. Just the thought of her name was enough to make me melt in contentment. Every part of her was perfect but I had to hold back. One thing I never do is go into something without thinking. I run through every possible plan and scenario. It was hard, seeing her and not approaching. Smelling her and not burying my nose in her neck. A part of me wished she was wolf as well because then that type of behavior would be accepted and reciprocated, while the other half of me (the louder half) refused to believe that she was anything less than perfect.

So as much as I wanted her, I held back, deciding for now to observe and decide slowly which was the best and safest way to get close to her.

She had two friends, who I can clearly tell that she cares for, despite the amount of glaring and sighing she reserved for their company. Judging by the scent and the animal hair that seemed to cling to every stitch of the school uniform she wore, (which she always paired with a set of converse) cats were her favorite animal. She rarely ate during lunch time unless it was some sort of candy, usually opting to spend that time with her nose buried in a shoujo manga in the school's courtyard. All that, and the rumor turned out to be true. She was unapproachable. That much was evident from the time Jimin had decided that his 'hyung was taking too long' and he would get her to come speak to me first.

The thought of another wolf going near her at the moment made my insides twist in rage but I'd been unable to stop that pabo in time before he was skipping over and bowing in greeting.

"Hello! I'm-"

Without sparing a glance in his direction she uttered a "No." before continuing on her way with her friend at her side shooting Jimin an apologetic look.

How come even that appeals to me?

Every single thing about her, even her flaws seemed perfect. And now the day had come. I've watched her long enough and now knew the strategy I would need to use. She had a weakness and I'd figured it out. The thought of finally speaking to her sent a tingling feeling down my spine while at the same time I couldn't keep my fists from clenching nervously. Lunch time. I'll make my move at lunch time.

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I sigh in happiness as I finally reach the court yard at lunch hour, settling in under my favorite tree with my current choice of manga. In-guk had convinced Eun-ji to come with him so that they could 'talk' about their relationship. I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought. They were more than likely making out in a janitors closet. So for once I could quietly read during this time instead, where usually I'd have to put in an effort to ignore their conversation.

My peaceful quiet was short lived though when someone cleared their throat and I moved my eyes from my book to glare up at Kim Namjoon. I figured he would most likely approach me eventually, and I guess me being alone for once was as decent a time as any for him. But did he really have to bother me right when Tomeo was about to admit that he loved Nanami? No. He didn't. The jerk.

This unfounded hatred for the male's presence must have shown on my face but he didn't leave or even drop his gaze, instead meeting and holding my eyes steadily. This sort of intrigued me in a way, considering the only people who didn't shrivel in front of me when I was in a bad mood were my friends and my father.

Intriguing. But not enough to make me forgive him for ruining Tomeo's moment. Nothing would make this sin right...was what I was thinking until he randomly pulled out a tiny white ball of fur out of his pocket and presented a fluffy kitten.

...what the fuck?

I stared, frozen in place as it's head turned to look at me, pink ears twitching and small eyes blinking in the sunlight. Then it meowed pitifully in my direction and my heart felt like it busted open at the sight. My cold demeanor left in a flash as I was met with so much cuteness. My jaw dropped and what I had intended to be an 'aw' turned into a high squeak. I know stars must have been shooting out of my eyes and I probably looked like the crazy cat lady I am. But I absolutely do not give a fuck.

Cats are life.

I unconsciously dropped my book and moved to grab the feline before I remembered that I can't just grab someone's cat. Not that it had ever stopped me before but I didn't know Namjoon. But now that I'm thinking about it...why did he have a cat in school? How did he get it in here? Did he have it with him all day? Could I somehow steal it from him when he wasn't looking? Was stealing this cat worth going to jail over?

Yes. The answer is always yes.

I realized Namjoon was speaking and had to force myself to look at his face. "I heard that you like cats and I found a stray...Do you want her?"

What a stupid question. . Frantically nodding I reach out for it again, trying not to seem too eager but no doubt failing completely.

"Then." Namjoon drops to one knee, presenting the feline to me now with both arms outstretched. "Please go out with me."

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Edited 7/20/21