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I have no idea what to say. Hell, I don't even know what to think. Either he's lying, or I've found myself in an alternate plane of reality. Because there's no way that what I am doesn't bother him, or even scare him a little.

Namjoon is weird. Namjoon is determined. Namjoon is kind. Those are all things I can say with certainty. Also, to the best of my knowledge, Namjoon has never lied to me. I feel scared of what I'll find there but I force myself to look into his eyes anyway, searching for any trace of a lie. Seconds tick by and we stand like that, and all I can find in his gaze is honestly, and that scares me.

"Why?" Is the only question I can't draw up an answer for.

For a moment I don't think he'll respond. His jaw ticks and something akin to panic passes over his face, but soon that settles into conviction, as though he'd made a decision in his own mind.

He clears his throat and fixes his stare back on mine.

"Because I'm not normal either."

"You're not..." I begin to ask but the question dies off when doubtfulness strikes me. Is he messing with me right now?

"I can show you if you don't believe me." he speaks up.

I remain silent, debating. If he was telling the truth he wouldn't say something like that, right? Unless he's trying to get naked in my kitchen. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised by either.

"Alright." I concede. "Show me."

His eyes move around the small kitchen. "Right here?"

I cross my arms over my chest, doubt rushing back to the forefront of my feelings again. "Where else?"

A second passes by and I expect for him to back out, but instead he moves away from me and begins to shove our kitchen table up against the back wall. When I question this he doesn't respond so I lean against the counter and wait for him to finish.

Once he's done, however, his gaze moves from the kitchen floor, to his pants, and back to me, watching him with a questioning eyebrow raised.

"This might be awkward...but I have to be naked for this part."

I can't help the short laugh that comes out. "I knew you were a pervert."

Instead of responding he shrugs and removes his jacket and his hands start unbuttoning his shirt.

"Yah!"

My scream doesn't seem to startle him in the least and he proceeds to leisurely undress right there in the middle of my kitchen. At four in the afternoon in broad daylight.

What even is my life right now?

The moment his pants come down I yell again and turn my head, only to find Lucifer, in all her white and fluffy cuteness, sitting on the floor, stomach face up and ass out, casually cleaning her privates with one eye on the undressing Namjoon.

WHAT?

"I still have my boxers on, you can look."

Hesitantly I turn back to Namjoon, finding that he still wore both boxers and an sleeveless undershirt, thank god.

Wait. Were his arms always that toned? This distraction almost causes me to not hear his next words.

"Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you."

I jerk my line of sight back to his face, feeling panic at these words of warning. Why would I be afraid? "Wait, what?"

Without another word he drops to all fours and begins to shift.

Oh.

Fuck.

He wasn't kidding.

It's nothing like what I'm used to. For me it's quick and as smooth as silk. But from Namjoon I hear a series of cracking and popping noises that causes me to flinch and grimace at the sound. Nothing about this transition makes me think it's without discomfort, not with the sounds being produced. Yet Namjoon gives me no indication that he's in pain, I still can't keep my eyes on him, fearing that I'll see as much pain as I'm hearing.

Then, as soon as it began, it stops. Without thinking I look up to find a fully grown wolf in my kitchen.

Never thought I'd say that.

My eyes blink continuously as I take him in. Thick, amber colored fur, four paws and bunched fur around his neck, his head cocked slightly and his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Shiny, intimidating canine teeth grinning at me. Without a doubt I know I'm looking at Namjoon.

I'm not a dog person; I never have been. But why...why...my eyes move up to his fuzzy pointed ears and then back to his smiling mouth.

WHY IS HE SO CUTE?

............I feel like I just betrayed my cats by thinking that.

I swear Namjoon always knows what I'm thinking. Because in the next second he's lowered himself all the way to the floor and has rolled over, exposing his stomach.

And by stomach, I mean a very adorable tummy. A feeling similar to what I go through when I discover a new cat creeps up on me and something in me snaps.

"Namjoon." His name comes out in the form of a sigh while I move to sit on my knees next to him. Instantly he rolls over and looks up expectantly. "You...you're sooo cute!"

For a split second an unmistakable look of irritation flashes in his eyes but it's gone when my hands reach his fluffy ears. OH MY GOD THEY'RE SO SOFT. Did he think I would be intimidated by this? Silly Namjoon. Not knowing how lovable and cute you are in this form. His ears! I just want to keep playing with his ears and so I do just that. Laying them down flat on his head and then giggling in pleasure when they spring back up.

Who cares that I'm completely fangirling over a fully grown, totally-capable-of-mauling-me-to-death, wolf on my kitchen floor. Who cares that he is now giving me a very stern look. I just want to squish his cheeks...which don't really squish much to my disappointment. So I move on to running my fingers through the extra fluff of fur around his neck and making the hair there stand up so that it starts to resemble a lion's mane.

Namjoon, to his credit, takes this all in stride, simply sitting still and allowing me to flip my shit over his new form. We make eye contact every now and then and it shocks me every time. While everywhere else he's fully wolf, and even his eyes are decidedly canine, I can still find Namjoon in there. The last time our gaze's lock I'm reminded of this, and it starts to bring me back to reality.

Oh Jesus what have I done.

My face heats up and I cover it with both hands as I whine in embarrassment, paying no mind to the warm nose poking at them and then into into my hair.

When his nose comes in contact with the skin under my ear I tense up, but then just as quickly I relax when I remember that it's only Namjoon, and Namjoon has never hurt me. Some sort of sound that I can only attribute to a rumble comes out of him as he continues to sniff.

Its undeniably weird, but I have zero room to judge him at this point. I shift a bit at the tickling sensation but then try to hold still. That is, until a very hot tongue licks over that area and up into my ear.

His whole body has recoiled in on itself before the yelp even exits my mouth, and once it does, a high pitched whine that sounds oddly similar to a 'sorry' comes out of his throat and his head drops to hide under his paws.

I feel disgusted and my neck feels...slippery. Gross. I move to swipe a hand over it while studying the hiding figure next to me. As unpleasant as that was, I don't want to dwell on it or make him feel too bad about it. He accepts what I am, and showed me this side to himself. Personally, I know what that means. It's a level of trust that you can't show just anybody, and right now, I'm unable to understand why he's showing that much faith in me.

Not uttering a word I move a hand to his ears once again, scratching the area behind them. Cautiously he removes the paws from his face and peers up at me. Cute.

"It's ok." I can't help but giggle at the look he's sending me. "Animal instincts, I guess?"

Pale yellow eyes blink up at me so I nod to assure him once again. "It's alright." I pat his head one last time before standing up. "I'll...wait in the living room while you get dressed...and clean up."

It's not like he can respond in this state so I turn and move out of the kitchen, not forgetting to pull the door closed behind me on the way out.

Ten minutes later we're both sitting on either end of the couch, a blanket of nervous silence making the air feel heavy around us. His face has acquired a pink glow; the tiny smile formed on his lips doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Cute. Why is he so cute?

And now I'm not sure where I should start. Should I feel embarrassed over the way I'd reacted to his furry side? That's become the typical behavior that comes over me when I see cats, so it doesn't bother me how people react to it anymore. But...that wasn't a cat. That was a person. An eighteen-year-old man to be exact.

"So..." I begin uncomfortably, having no idea what I should say.

Namjoon makes a sound of agreement but nothing further than that. My great grandfather's antique clock ticks away on the mantle.

This is so awkward.

"Can I see you change?" Namjoon finally speaks up, his voice eager.

"Uh..." I shift uneasily, my fingers itching together. I'd never intentionally shown anyone that before...

"Never mind." he sends me dimpled grin and my heart flutters. "You can show me when you're ready."

QUIT MAKING MY HEART FLUTTER.

"Y/n," his pink cheeks take on a slighter darker tint but his eyes stay steadily fixed on mine. "I like you."

Now it's my turn to blush, butterflies erupting in my stomach. When did my life become like this? At this point, I believe him. I still don't get why none of my flaws turn him off or why he even likes me in the first place, but I do believe him.

"I-I-" I stutter and mentally punch myself in the face for doing so. Get it the fuck together, Y/n! "I'll be honest," feeling too bashful to look him in the eye, I settle my gaze somewhere around his chin. "I like you too. But...I don't think...I like you as much as you like me." It's uncomfortable to say it but it's something I feel is necessary. The last thing I want to do is go into something half-ass.

"You like me?" The smile on his face stretches into a full blown grin.

"Is that all you heard?"

Instead of answering, one fist goes to rest on his lip and he chuckles, clearly lost in his own world. Cute.

"Does that mean-" abruptly he freezes and turns to face me, "you'll go out with me?"

For one, sadistic moment I wonder if I should prolong his torture.

...What is wrong with me?

"Sure."

Once again Namjoon turns pink and giggles, spacing out into an apparent cloud of bliss. Other than the ever-present thought of cute, I can't help but think: Why does Namjoon act more like a teenage girl than I do?

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Edited 7/24/21