Study, practise, study, more practise, self-reflection on your dancing, study and sleep. That was the scheme you had to follow every single day. Of course you ate your meals like you always did, but you still lost quite a bit of weight due to the intensive dance sessions. Today, Son had worked on some basic moves together with you and some other back-up dancers. You had solely focused on improving your techniques when it came to the details. Things worked out quite well and at the end of the session, you didn't even feel the need to look in the mirror anymore because you yourself could feel if your moves were right. Son was a genius teacher and a lot of fun to work with since he always had some jokes at hand when you were getting tired or frustrated from the hard dance moves. The other boys and girls were nice too, but they spoke as much English as you could speak Korean, so talking didn't really work out.

You had been wearing your favourite outfit today, so along with the improvements you made today, it made you feel happy with this day. Focusing on your studies was hard since you wanted to spend as much time as possible with the boys or practising at least. Joonie made it as easy as possible for you though, when he saw you getting troubled or tired, he rushed to you immediately. Always bringing a bottle of water, some study tips, kind words or a hug. Despite you getting even more distracted by his amazing looks and personality, his actions actually helped you to go on with the work.

So now you were lying on your belly in your warm, soft bed in the dormitory. You leaned on your elbows and had your diary and phone placed on your pillow so you could easily reach them. Your legs went up and down, moving to some kind of rhythm without you knowing of which song. The sheets of the warm, cozy bed had a cute flowery motive on it, pink cherry blossom. You were writing in your diary and updating your social media as the night progressed. The boys were busy with something and you had taken this unique opportunity to take time off to do some relaxing things. Moments like these helped you calm down and reflect on daily events making it a bit easier for you to fall asleep later, since you could write away about your worries and experiences. You were proud of yourself, proud of the fact that you were actually here and the fact that you were seeing so much progress in just a few days. Today, you had once again called your parents and despite the time difference, they tried the best they could to seem enthusiastic and were interested in every little detail of your life in South-Korea. Having parents like this was truly a blessing, what would you ever do without them?

When Namjoon had woken you up this morning (he had been doing that ever since he gave you that kiss), he told you some really exciting things. Starting from tomorrow you'd undergo a casting. One of BTS's photographers had spotted you around the sets and wanted to see if you were suitable for a small job. The job they had thought of was a photoshoot for a sportswear brand. One of the results of your dancing hobby was the fact that you had gained muscles in exactly the right places. The photographer said he also liked your hair, since hair like yours is extremely rare in this country. The photographer told you he'd introduce you to a scouting person tomorrow and if they agreed on it, you'd get the job! You'd earn some money, which was nice because you just HAD to go shopping here. What place in the world could be better for shopping K-fashion than South-Korea itself? The job would probably also be a fun and educative experience and nevertheless, you'd gain some experience regarding stages and events.

It was a bit frightening though, just like any other young girl, you were insecure about your body: there were more parts you disliked than liked. To be perfectly honest, all the positive sides of that shoot didn't weigh up to the anxieties which had you looking forward to tomorrow more in fear than excitement. No, this wasn't just a bit frightening, it was a living hell. Not that you would admit it to Joon or the boys, you didn't want to let them down, not in the least! You started shaking while stress made you its own and your eyes started burning, tingling. Your sight got blurry quickly and a first tear started rolling down your cheek. You were scared. A second tear. You were so so scared. More tears. So insecure. Your diary page blurred and the words you had written so carefully, vanished, complimenting your blurred vision. Your body started shocking and you decided to close your diary and turn off your phone. You moved your knees to your chin and wrapped your arms around your legs after having moved the sheets all over your body. Now you were gone, and nobody would have to see you anymore. You felt tears starting to run over your knees before dripping off your legs. Oh well, not that anybody would care anyway.