-Vegas-

A sharp pain crept into my head as soon as I regained my consciousness. I

opened my eyes and tried to adjust my focus in order to organize the things in my brain. I fell into a stupor and got confused. The image in my head was blank as if the only thing I was thinking about was pain.

My brother's voice called out for my attention, trying to say various things to make me turn around and look.

I saw the image of Macau standing beside the bed looking at me and the quaint surroundings behind him. I felt the softness of the bed and pillows with an unfamiliar feeling. It wasn't like every morning when I wake up and find that... the place I'm in is better.

Macau's voice continued to ring out. Even though I was used to the everyday noise, it's not like this...

It was the voice of another person.

Although I still can't see the face clearly, I can clearly remember that voice. It was the sound that always pierced my heart. A voice that commanded me. A voice that used to insult me. And a voice that I don't want to hear.

Then I saw both Macau and Dad standing a little far away from me. They started to argue, and I immediately felt a tingling pain in my temples.

Macau muttered softly. He quickly grabbed a glass and poured water in it from a pitcher, then handing it to me.

I slowly sipped the water from the glass little by little. My throat felt so dry that it hurt.

Macau turned to look at the person who got up from the sofa and walked out of the room towards the gardens. Then a doctor just walked in. I had a lot of questions in my head right now. How did I get to the hospital? And... what happened that brought me here?

I turned to look at the other side of the bed. I saw my subordinate looking down and pressing a switch on the side of the bed to adjust the level for me. I was now half-lying half-sitting so the doctor could do his job. I just noticed that my arm was pierced by a saline hose. The doctor reached out and carefully touched my head. As soon as the gauze was opened,

I felt a sensation resembling a numbing pain.

The past events gradually poured in my head. And it was him. He was the only one who was stuck in my mind all the time. Pete. Pete, where are you?

I hurriedly turned to the startled idiot as he looked down at the ground without meeting my eyes.

I started to fidget. The doctor slightly pulled away from my body as I glanced at Macau who was looking at me anxiously. I rushed over and grabbed Nop's arm. The pain I felt now was nothing compared to the memories I had of Pete crying and cursing at me. The look in his eyes that were so indifferent and empty still lingered in my vision now.

Where is he now? What is he doing? If I was in the hospital, would he still be waiting for me in the same room as

before?

No, I don't want to remember the story after that. I knew I was lying to myself.

Yes, I didn't want to think about what happened after he hit me with the chains. But I only hoped that he would still be there. Still in the same room that eased my worries. Because normally, when I was out doing errands, Pete would call me. And how long have I been out of the room? Will he still be waiting for me? Will he be angry at me?

Macau walked over and pulled my hand away from my subordinate's arm.

I wanted to hear the answer

coming from Nop's mouth. It was just the answer I want to hear. Other than

that, I still don't know what I should do next.

Macau kept holding me back

from trying to get out of the bed.

I didn't even feel the pain in my head anymore.

The only thing left was the torment that was raging in his mind like madness.

Macau still held me back and

explained why I was in the hospital. The doctors and nurses stood at a

distance to watch the incident.

I grabbed the collar of Nop's shirt and pulled him towards me.

he said softly.

I raised my voice at Nop. I can't

control myself again. It was as if all sides of my darkness came back in my

heart. I immediately glared at the idiot who didn't answer me.

When my mood peaked, all my emotions that hasn't been shown for a long while passed their limits and revealed all at once. I haven't been this type of Vegas for a long time. But today, I really can't stand it anymore. I want to go on a rampage. I want to throw things. I want to erupt my emotions like I did before.

I yanked the saline hose with force until it ripped out of my arm. The doctor and nurses all rushed over to me, but I didn't care. I pushed away everyone who tried to reach me. I went straight to the idiot, pulling the car keys out of his pants' pocket.

The whole room was in chaos. Although I don't where my strength came from.

I easily pushed everyone away, even the doctor who was trying to hold me

back. I half-walked half-ran out of the room. Eyes of passersby looked at me in shock because blood started to seep out of my arm. I headed straight to the VIP parking lot. And of course, it's not difficult to find the car from my house because there are only a few cars that can be parked here. I unlocked the car and immediately sat inside and locked the door.

Nop and a few other men ran after me, but I immediately stepped on the accelerator and sped off.

Along the way, I was confused, anxious, and unable to think of anything. My chest also felt tight as if someone was about to suffocate me all the time. It's a torture that I already know. In my mind, I already know the answer that he wouldn't be there waiting for me like he used to. But I want to fool myself, I guess. Just for once in my life, I have hope. Like when I'm with him...

He made me realize that in reality, there is always a way out of misery in our lives. Evenhe who had encountered a lot can still smile and live with it. He taught me to

learn to deal with my own emotions.

Even if you encounter something heavy, we can think of it as a small matter. It will make everything look easier.

Pete's comforting words were like pulling me out of my stupid and dark life. It was like having someone's hand holding me every time. His words that said...

...echoes in my mind. It's like reminding me every time not to go astray again. I used to look at him as if he didn't even deserve to say

those words to me because he was in a difficult position. But just a smile or a sincere look in his eyes always made me feel alive...

I couldn't make up my mind if he would walk out of my life without me even realizing it.

He was the only light in my life. The one who made me genuinely smile. The only time I felt true sincerity like right now. And the look in my eyes that looks hopeful. No matter how many times I look at him, I feel better. But he was slowly fading away...

My hands were trembling because I was scared. Scared to the point of it being unbearable.

I drove the car into the house until the door was barely opened. I pressed the brakes abruptly and got out of the car, half-walking half-running towards the second floor of the house immediately.

My underlings were all surprised and followed me in shock that

I was in this condition. I wore a hospital gown with blood on my arm plus a head wound. But I didn't care at all. I just want to know that in my safe-zone room, there's still a guy who's always sitting there doing the same cheekynexpression he did every day.

Screech~

I slid the bedroom glass door and called out his name loudly.

My heart pounded with fear and instantly transformed into loneliness. What I saw was an empty room. There was no bright voice that said hello like it used to. No 'You're back?' or the sullen face of someone complaining 'I'm hungry', it's gone.

The room's condition is still the same. Every item and every book

was placed like before. Even the chains that used to bind him to be with me alone... It was still piled on the ground. There were still traces of his body, and his fragrance still lingered throughout the room.

Everything is clear. It was so clear that I was exhausted to know the truth. I slowly walked into the room and sat on the ground, slowly picking up the chain from the floor. What have I done?

I remembered the day I was most hurt by my father's words. It was the day when I was most resentful of myself being compared to others. It was the day I suffered the most. Suffering for many years from being alone on earth. But I came back to him. And then he left...

The words of comfort on the day I felt bad were replaced with sincere words

and eyes. I still couldn't believe that I did this to him. Why did he still come to comfort me, smile at me, and find many comforting words to say to me? The way my family never thought of doing for me.

I remembered the moment he said that to me. The memories of the days we were together still persist and are stuck in my heart.

I accidentally let out a smile as tears quickly filled my eyes. During the first

day I caught him, I just kept him because I wanted to make it more memorable that I was playing with someone and wanted to have some fun messing with Kinn. But I never thought that there would be a person like him in the world. I hurt him so much. I slapped him, hit him, humiliated him, all kinds of things.

And eventually, I felt disgusted with myself for having done those evil things to a good person like him. And today, I am even more disgusted with myself.

In my eyes in the past, Pete was an ordinary bodyguard that didn't have much effect on my life. He seemed like someone who I wouldn't be interested in at all.

When I first met him at the major clan's home, I saw him as a general service dog who always smiled to greet people and that Pete is such a fool who followed the orders of Kinn. But who knew that all his smiles and

expressions would never leave my mind? It affects my whole life now.

The longer the days I spent with Pete, the more I felt secure. No matter how bad things got, as soon as I stepped into my room, I felt at ease and was completely myself. I didn't have to pretend or be uncomfortable. With him, I'm just the ordinary Vegas.

In just almost a month, my feeling of emptiness was filled. He was the center of my whole life at that moment. I would always pay attention to Pete, concerned about whether he was hungry or whatever he was doing.

When my nanny and mother left me, no one ever asked me things like...

'Have you eaten?',

'What are you doing now?',

'Where are you?' ,

'What time are you coming back?', 'Are you hurt?',

'Did your father say that to you?', or

'Everything will be okay.'

No one had ever covered me with a blanket when I slept or took care of me, even take care of the clothes I wear every day for me.

But it's Pete who fills in the missing parts of my life that I've always craved for.

When I hated myself and hated having to face this loneliness, as long as I was with Pete, he made me like myself and feel like I'm worth it again. Although sometimes I know he would do that so I wouldn't be upset with him, there were times when I knew it felt real.

I used to question what kind of person was he who was hurt by me so much but still smiled. Then I understood it all and began to absorb his positivity over time. He made me look at everything differently.

He made me see the light after being in the dark for a long time. He was held captive and imprisoned, but he tried to adapt. He was also very kind to me, even on the days when I was really bad to him. He was the only person in my life that made me realize the meaning of wanting to keep moving forward. I want to

hear the sound of a call ringtone.

Every time someone calls me, I get excited thinking I'll hear Pete's voice asking for food.

'Quick, which dish is delicious?'

'Try it.'

'Fine.'

'Oh, why are you eating like that? Here, eat this.'

The memory of him feeding me flowed back in my mind to hurt me. Even though I knew he was teasing me, I want to find a way to get back a little. I remember the expectation in his eyes waiting if I'll say it was delicious or not.

I thought that time if I say it's delicious enough to eat, he'll be very happy, but if I pretend it's not delicious, he'll have a disappointed look on his face.

No one has ever actually made me think this way...

He tried to keep me in a good mood for days. But after a while, I got anxious that he might find out that I pampered him because I want him to stay. At first, I kept Pete in captivity for fun, but after a while, my intentions began to change. I just want to have him alone. I want to keep him for myself. I want to

do whatever it takes to make him want to be with me. I want to be with him like I want to have him all the time.

'Vegas.'

His cheerful voice always called me when he wanted to ask me

something or when he wanted to mess with me. His voice relaxed me every time. Only then would I be able to lift the whole world out of my chest with ease. Will Pete realize how comfortable he made me feel?

I let out a small smile at the memory of that day. Pete is sometimes like a child.

Sometimes, he acted very maturely. The sometimes, he liked to make a

pouting face or sulk as if he thinks I wouldn't notice.

'Hmm... I don't like going to the forest.'

'It's a hypothetical situation.'

For example, that day when he got fussy trying to get me to answer questions.

Pete was counting the days with me, and his skill of begging for what he wants kept leveling up.

'Hmm... I wouldn't stop by to look at the rock in the first place.'

'Argh! Let's just say you stopped for it.'

His mouth skewed when he said that,

and I saw his adorable face. It looked natural, but that made me realize that I was having a crush on him, which I really liked. He was like a little kitten that was calling the attention of the owner...

I don't know when my tears had flowed so much that I couldn't stop. The lump in my throat was so tight and painful that I wanted to release it and let it end.

Once again, I had to face my loneliness. I have to live a life without him. His cheerful voice in the morning still resonated in my head, as if adding to my suffering. And another thing that is repeatedly coming back into my emotions

that makes me hurt like hell...

The stupid words that came out of my mouth that day came back to me. Now, I only have regrets because I'm the only one to blame. I wanted to make Pete in pain, and then he came back and hurt me like a big rock smashing into my chest over and over again. His fearful tone and expression made me tremble.

I clenched the chain in my hand and threw it as far as I could. This chain is a symbol of suffering and the torture that I brought to him. He had enough

already. Now I know all the fears he felt. I'm terrible, I know. I'm sorry. I'm

really sorry. It's really me who deserves to face that pain. Because if I were Pete, I would never forgive myself.

But what I want to tell him the most is... I know he's going to hate me. He'll be angry and he'll resent me. I won't be surprised and I'll let him do what he wants. He can curse me or hurt me. I won't stop him. But I only ask for one thing. Just, please... Can you come back to my side once last time? Please forgive my stupidity and horribleness this time...

I quickly changed into casual clothes. I wore my usual Praveda suit after

washing my face in the bathroom to cool down. Even in the bathroom, I saw his toothbrush and I could feel the pain that shook through my heart. No matter which corner of the room I looked, I always sensed his presence.

The same words repeated and circled my thoughts. I'm tired now, Pete... I'm

so tired. I want to see your face, I want to hug you... Can you give me a chance?