《Beautiful ➳ Neil Perry.》dix
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"Are we even allowed to be here?"
Neil was leaning against the teacher's desk, his eye jumping from one thing to another.
"As long as no one finds out."
Alice had taken Neil to the art room, where she was now working on her project. Many others in her class liked to keep their canvases and easels at home to work on, but Alice was given special approval by her arts teacher due to her circumstances at home.
"It's really nice of your teacher to let you do this," he said, studying one of the artworks pinned up on the wall, "What's her name again?"
"Mrs Gordon," Alice replied, holding up a paintbrush to the canvas with focus, "She's like my Mr Keating."
Neil smiled, "I'm glad someone's supporting you."
Alice shifted her focus from the canvas to Neil, who was now sitting on one of the desks again. She did feel guilt when she forbade him from seeing her work until it was finished. Alice wanted to keep it a surprise until she was finished with it, but Neil grew even more and more curious by the day.
"But actually, none of this would've been possible without you, Neil. I need you to know that."
Neil hopped off the desk, taking Alice by the hand. He gently pulled her towards him, chuckling as she whined. As much as he enjoyed watching her paint, he needed to get back to Welton before they send out search parties for him.
"I'll come back tomorrow," Neil said, hugging Alice's head, "I promise."
Now that everything had gone back to normal with Neil, Alice barely wanted to spend any time apart with him. She'd wish for the summer to come more quickly. Perhaps then they could spend almost everyday together.
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As Neil left the room, Alice let out a heavy sigh. Who was she kidding? Neil was a dream. A dream she never wanted to wake up from. And she loved him with all her heart, but she couldn't bear to tell him the news. Not yet, at least. The news itself hasn't even dawned on her yet. It just couldn't be right.
Washing her paintbrushes clean, Alice carefully placed them on the drying rack before grabbing her backpack to leave. Before leaving the room, she glanced at her half-finished artwork with a small smile.
I know he'll love it, she thought to herself. She had to make sure her first project was dedicated to Neil; the person who inspired her to follow her dreams.
"You're still here?"
Alice almost jumped at the sound of the voice. She shut her eyes in annoyance before sucking in a deep breath.
"You know I'm always here, so don't pretend you didn't come by on purpose," Alice retorted, desperate to shove Jonathan out of the doorway to leave the room.
"Ah, so you caught me," He laughed dryly before clearing his throat, looking past Alice's shoulder with a smirk forming on his face, "This is what you've been working on every afternoon after school?"
Alice ignored him, forcing herself not to react too rashly this time. She shrugged her shoulders, pushing past Jonathan who surprisingly gave her way. Alice didn't bother looking back to entertain him further with witty replies as she made her way home for the day.
If she told Neil about the news she'd been so anxious about, he'd distance himself from her. Anyone would if they were put in his position. Alice knew it was selfish of her to keep the news from him, but she promised herself she'd tell him only when she was ready to. But she promised herself that after tonight, she'd gather up all her courage to tell him. And if he chose to leave her and never speak to her again, she'd try to accept that.
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With her mind drifting from one thing to another, she barely noticed time passing by. The ten minute walk from school almost felt like two minutes, all her thoughts distracting her from her surroundings.
Unlocking the front door, Alice felt the tears rushing to the surface once again. For the past few days with Neil, she'd managed to forget about everything and focus on her project. But tonight was different. No, she couldn't simply stay back at school for an extra hour or two to push aside what was to come. There was no escaping tonight.
"I'm home," Alice called out, walking up the stairs to her bedroom after hearing no reply.
Her father must have been busy working in his study, while Elsbeth was out doing some groceries.
Dropping her bag in the corner of the room, Alice sat herself down at the foot of her bed. At one point in time, her life had been more simple. There was nothing she had to hide from her father. As a child, Alice always painted with watercolours and different paints. But it wasn't until her mother's death that all of that changed.
When Alice turned fourteen, her father reminded her of the one thing she was to focus on for the next four years of her life— medical school. And if med school was her final destination, there was no more use for the paints or the canvas or the watercolours.
The night her father took it all away was the night he broke her heart. She remembered not being able to stop crying, and she made sure no one saw her like that. She'd tried to understand where he was coming from; he wasn't given the same opportunity to study for med school or any of the top universities he wished for. His whole life, he worked hard hoping it'd be much different for his little girl.
"Alice! Are you still up there?"
Alice jolted up at the sound of Elsbeth's voice. As she heard the sound of approaching footsteps, Alice rushed towards her closet, searching for the dress Chris had picked out for her the other day.
"Alice darling, are you getting ready now?"
Removing the dress from its hanger, Alice was quick to slip it on before glancing at the full-length mirror in front of her.
"Just one second!" she called back, patting down the silky-textured skirt.
Alice raced to her dressing table, carefully applying makeup in such a way to keep herself presentable but recognisable. If she was meeting her fiancé for the first time tonight, Alice wanted him to know her for the way she really was.
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"the wound is the place where the Light enters you."
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