Alice never imagined her life would come to this.

If everything had gone differently that day, she wouldn't have to be in this situation. Alice had spent days trying to pinpoint where things had gone wrong, but it only lead her back where she started.

She hated to think that inviting Charlie for a coffee was the wrong decision. Although, it could've also prevented Richard Cameron from running off to find Neil that day.

As it turned out, Charlie didn't call Alice because Cameron somehow found his way to Neil even faster than him that day. He'd felt terrible about asking Alice to trust him with it, although he wasn't able to keep his promise. Alice never blamed him for it, but truly wished she could've stopped Cameron from running that day.

"There's nothing you could've done," Pitts had said to her the other day, "As soon as Cameron finds some kind of news out by himself, he'll run like a jackrabbit as if his life depends on it."

But ever since that night, Neil had clearly avoided any contact with Alice. The phone calls stopped, the spontaneous visits after school too. It wasn't like she didn't understand why he was upset. She just wanted to talk about it with Neil and no one else.

Alice did manage to get a hold of Neil one time. It was the same night she had sneaked into Welton to see him, but he looked less than happy to see her. The cold and expressionless look in his eyes was enough to break her heart, and the way he brushed her hand away from him broke her into tears. He had expressed his wishes to never see her again with little use of words and minimal eye contact. The scene itself replayed itself in her mind every night for the next two weeks.

Charlie had called for his family's driver to take her home that night, her tears finding no end. Her master plan to sneak back into the house had gone down the drain, the weakness in her knees giving her no strength to do so. Alice unlocked the front door as she would at any other time of the day, paying no heed to the noise the front door echoed throughout the hallway.

Alice had known Elsbeth was a light sleeper. And if she had woken up, it wouldn't be too long until her father followed afterwards.

It was unusual to see Alice ever home this late. Despite her disagreement with her early-set curfew, Elsbeth and Stephen had never seen her walk through the front door any later than ten o'clock in the night. It was clear to Alice that Elsbeth had another painful lecture awaiting her, but the unnatural sight of Alice looking so ruined and hurt won her attention that time.

* * *

"Alice," Chris called from the door of the art room, "I'll be going home now. Are you sure you don't want a ride home?"

"I'm sure," she returned with a smile, "I'll see you tomorrow, Chris."

It was only with Chris that Alice remained the same. As her best friend, she was like her constant. And with the whole world changing around her, Alice needed a constant more than anything right now. Chris always knew the right time to ask questions and have deep conversations. She never asked questions to satisfy her own curiosity, but rather to offer some kind of release for Alice. She had convinced her not to feel too upset, encouraging her to give Neil some time.

"Trust me on this one, Alice. This can't be the end for you both; not just yet."

Some days, Alice finds herself trying to clear her head by spending extra time after school on her art. Sometimes, she'd go to the mall and window shop until it got dark. She liked to spend time on her own, thinking to herself and trying to understand her feelings more. Elsbeth had once offered to talk to her about her feelings, although Alice knew that wasn't going to be a very good idea. If she couldn't be honest to herself, how could she possibly be honest to someone else? Besides, this wasn't exactly the best kind of conversation to have with her stepmom.

Alice's father had noticed her change in behaviour, reminding her that coming home late all the time had its consequences. But he had come to an agreement to give her some time before unleashing said punishments, knowing it was going to do no good to her right now.

"You're home now," he said, tidying his scattered files on the dining table, "How was school?"

"School was good."

Taking note of her parents' concern, Alice made sure she never arrived home too late. In the end, the only reason behind every punishment was because they were worried about her safety.

Alice smiled, pursing her lips shortly after. The truth was, she dreaded school. It felt like she was living the same day everyday— like something important was missing from her life right now. There was a lack of excitement every morning she'd wake up, and she would find herself counting down every second until class was over. The only times she'd find herself genuinely happy was during lunch with Chris.

Alice didn't intentionally want to make it seem like her whole happiness depended on this one guy— it really didn't. She wasn't unhappy simply because a boy she liked was avoiding her. She felt heartbroken because Neil Perry, one of the people who understood her the most, couldn't find an ounce of trust or faith within himself to listen to her. Aside from being the guy she'd been pining for, he was like a best friend to her too.

That night, Alice was already in bed with one of her favourite books, ready to fall asleep in the next twenty minutes or so. Lately, she has found a liking towards poetry books and is yet to finish the book gifted to her by Todd.

Reading the first couple of pages, her half-asleep mind snapped wide awake when she heard soft crackles hitting against her bedroom window. Alice shook it off her mind, aware that the winter this year had brought stronger winds. But it was soon clear to her that the snow had nothing to do with the noise. It almost sounded like . . . pebble stones.

Pushing her curtains out of the way, Alice narrowed her eyes to focus past the fog forming on the glass. And when things came into focus, she could've sworn her heart almost stopped.