December 1, 1998

Stacy is having a party on the 5th. It is probably going to be good - not great, though. That is because all the boys going think I am a slut.

It will be in her basement, and there is a closet with the mattress from an old futon in it. All the boys are going to want to get me in there, and normally I love the attention, but it is getting out of hand lately.

Today, at lunch, Louis asked me to give every boy at his table a blow job. What nobody understands is that I am a really big flirt, but deep down I am a really big prude. I am extremely terrified of being alone in a closet with Tyler. I enjoy the thought of making out with him, but it makes me so nervous! I don't know.

Oh, and Stacy is going out with James now. I'm happy for her! Now she doesn't have to be depressed because she thinks no one likes her. [And I don't have to pretend to listen to her vent.]

Yesterday everyone found out that Jenna gave an 8th-grader a hand job. He's been her boyfriend for about a month, and she is totally in love with him, so I don't consider it slutty at all, but half of her friends do consider it slutty, so they've ditched her.

I called her today and we had a conversation for the first time in over a month. I really love Jenna. She is really confused right now, and I can totally understand that. Right now, I am making it my job to be there for her to vent on.

I needed her after my friends ditched me, and she was there, so now when she needs me, I will be there for her. But she is still best friends with Steph, and that's okay, because it proves to me that no matter what Steph says, Jenna still likes me. So she is my real friend, and I am not going to lose her.

[Odd that I didn't consider the possibility that Jenna not speaking to me in a month had something to do with Steph's opinion of me.]