February 23, 1999

Today, Shauna said she was going to dump Mark at lunch. We were all excited and helped her plan how she was going to do it. When lunch time finally rolled around, all the people at Mark's table already knew, but they weren't saying anything. Boys can be such horrible friends to each other! [Oh, the irony.]

Anyway, I went over to the boys' table and talked to them and shared secret smiles with James, because we knew what was coming. Shauna, followed by our whole table and about three other tables, boys and girls, came over. She planted herself in front of Mark and said nervously, "Mark, you disrespected me, so..."

This wasn't going as planned at all. She was supposed to stomp up to him with an attitude and bash him in front of everyone. Instead, she looked reluctant, completely reassuring him that he had all the power in their relationship. After about a 30 second speech, she concluded, "And so I don't think we should go out... right now."

"Or ever!" I added, trying to save her pride. The crowd of people who were watching started cheering and laughing. Mark started laughing, too! He laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. [I wonder if this was a nervous reaction because of the humiliating scene we had set up, or if Mark was so malicious that he would laugh in Shauna's face.]

The crowd had departed, and now it was just me and the boys. I leaned across the table and said, "So, Mark, who are you going to go out with now?" He shrugged. Then Scott said something really mean. He said, "Well, Emily, who do you have?"

Carefully controlling my features, I made a cute little puzzled face and walked away. I am so fake. Whenever I realize a boy is looking at me, I make my face into a prettier expression. Whenever I am around boys, I am constantly aware of my facial expression, my stance, my hands, my body language, everything. I like showing some cleavage sometimes, too.