July 2, 1999

I got another letter from Zach today. I got two yesterday and one the day before, so that's 4 letters total. [And that's pretty much the extent of my math skills.] I don't know how I feel about him. I think I love him - I don't know. He is not perfect, like Jacob, but he is mine. He may be horny, but I won't be able to stay mad at him for long.

His letters imply that he cares about me very much. I do care about him, too. In fact, I desperately want him to be here with me. He is coming home late tonight. I called at 10am, and his mom said he wouldn't be home until very late, and that he is leaving very early tomorrow morning to go to camp, but that she would tell him I called.

I ache for him right now, literally. I want him so bad it is making me sick. I don't really want to make out with him or anything, I just want him to hold me and not to let go, ever. I feel so safe in his arms. I know that is ridiculously corny, but it's true!

But then there's Tyler. Here is an email he wrote me yesterday:

hey emily its been one whole day since i saw u and im already missing u so i just e-mailed u to say i love u also i want u to let me squeeze ur boobs over the summer so this will hopefully persuade u ok so write back or call me or sumpin i luv u

And today he wrote me this one:

hey emily

if u called me between 3-7 i was at jacob's house

i really wanna do sumthing with u seriously

and i'll be really disappointed if u write back saying "tyler you can't squeeze my boobs." i will probably start crying so i advise you not to say it

write back soon

did u dump zach yet?????

im missing you!

[Now there's a tactic I haven't encountered in many, many years: "Let me squeeze your boobs or I will cry."]