March 15, 2000

Well, Matt blew it today, just like I knew he would. He went over to Kaylee's house and he hooked up with her. He called me tonight and confessed and admitted to being wrong. I told him I wouldn't be able to trust him ever again, and he told me he didn't blame me, but that he didn't want me to like, hate him.

I don't hate him. It was cool of him to call me and tell me himself, instead of letting me find out tomorrow in school. [That's true.] But it took him six months of sitting next to me in Spanish to build up a friendship after the way he treated me in 6th and 7th grade, and even then I didn't completely trust him. And now he just threw it all away.

I won't ever be able to trust him, and I don't want to! He made me fall for him and then turned around and threw it in my face. I don't even have the words to describe how angry it makes me. I'm not even that angry at him, just at myself for being stupid enough to give him a chance.