Plot (8/10)

Well, I have seen this ideas before I can't speak much to the plot. You did add some new ideas which differentiated your ideas but I still think there is room to improve the plot. You can add more to make the plot pop more to stand out.

Grammar (9/10)

I saw a few errors with punctuation but I feel it can be fixed easily. Other than that I didn't find any issue with the grammar.

Characters (10/10)

Even from the first chapter, you gave each of your characters a unique personality. Over the course of the book, you were able to add dimensions and make your characters come to life. You were able to show dynamic characters that were complex like actual humans.

Cover (8/10)

I feel more of a storybook vibe but from what you synopsis was about and what I read, it doesn't seem like such. I would say up the maturity so it pops more and fits your story. I do like the font of the cover though.

Title (8/10)

A bit straightforward but it works seeing the basis of your story. I would say you can still improve your title because of how simple it is but if you want to change it, it wouldn't hurt. I feel the title doesn't truly capture the essence. What I mean by this is that no other name could fit better than the title you choose. I feel there are better fits for the story name.

Detail (7/10)

There is room for more detail and figurative language in your story. I don't fully feel connected to your story live when a story appeals to all five senses. You want to describe as if the reader is in the room with the characters. They should see what they see and experience the same feelings your characters do.

Originality (8/10)

There is space to add to the original ideas but there are a few things that are different from other stories I have read. Although most ideas are borrowed and used, you want the way you present it to be different. Just how people can interepet a text a different way than the sender, you want your reader to feel like thier interacting with the story so they understand everything exactly.

Prologue/ Introduction(10/10)

Interesting progression with your first chapter. You explained the setting well and everything that was going on. The main idea of your story was revealed and the reader could be excited to know how the story will develop. I believe this is the best it can possibly be.

Writing Skills (8/10)

Overall writing skills for this story are decent. I would say work on sentence construction first before you do anything else. After that, I would say work on the diction or word choice in your story. If you do that then I believe the story will be all set.

Overall story(7/10)

There is a lot of potential in this story so I look forward to seeing future developments. Overall the story has potential but things like figurative language need more attention paid to them. No part is unimportant. Even the smallest part of writing can affect the overall story and how it turns out.

Overall Score: 83 (B+)

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